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ToeMissile

ToeMissile

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The youngest niece started preschool this year. Some boy was picking on her friend, wouldn't leave the friend alone. The niece told him to back off or she'd cut his fingers off with scissors.
 
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Noodleface

Noodleface

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She's got a lot to learn. The correct threat is to cut off his small penis and stuff it in his mouth like the cartels do
 
Noodleface

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Bath time used to be fairly awesome, kid would sit and lay down as required and just play with toys for 10 or so minutes. Now bath time is a nightmare. He stands the whole time and tries to climb out so someone has to sort of hold him to just stand there. When we need to rinse him with water from the top town insane tears start happening. Major flip outs and tantrums. It's like.. Dude just sit and lay down and this would be so easy.

Someone tell me this is just a phase....
 
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Arative

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It's a phase. My kid went through it where it was a full on tantrum trying to get him in the bath. He'd cling to one of us when trying to get him in the tub and just stand and cry while we soaped him up and rinsed him. Lasted about a month.
 
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wilkxus

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Noodleface said:
Bath time used to be fairly awesome, kid would sit and lay down as required and just play with toys for 10 or so minutes. Now bath time is a nightmare. He stands the whole time and tries to climb out so someone has to sort of hold him to just stand there. When we need to rinse him with water from the top town insane tears start happening. Major flip outs and tantrums. It's like.. Dude just sit and lay down and this would be so easy.

Someone tell me this is just a phase....
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Let it go then, adapt and adjust. Wash him fast in the shower with you.
 
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Izo

Izo

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Noodleface said:
Bath time used to be fairly awesome, kid would sit and lay down as required and just play with toys for 10 or so minutes. Now bath time is a nightmare. He stands the whole time and tries to climb out so someone has to sort of hold him to just stand there. When we need to rinse him with water from the top town insane tears start happening. Major flip outs and tantrums. It's like.. Dude just sit and lay down and this would be so easy.

Someone tell me this is just a phase....
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It's for life. I still do this if my wife tries to bathe me.
 
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wilkxus

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Most stuff like this we found can just be manouvered around. It seems to happen lot, in all areas of kids lives, especially once their imaginations start to spark as their brains mature and enter different phases of awareness and fear.

My 4 year old stopped fussing (with great pride! now) about hair washing when learned how to swim and play comfortably in the pool.

Hair dryer on low started to make her scream and cry so was out for a while even though was fine with it when younger. Eventually she decided she would be *tough*, even though it made her nervous, when she noticed her little brother was not afraid.

My 2 year old had a funny freak out thing (last few weeks) about the *cat fluffs* the cat leaves behind and spiders (cat hair from between cats toes) because of scarry stories about what they might do from his 4 year old sister.... Some hillarious sh*t kids make up lmao.... =)

He trusts his big youngest sister a little less now.... =p but is over his fear(s). Anyhow, fun stuff ahead when you get more =)
 
Izo

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What kind of audio setup do you guys have for your kids? Docking station maybe? Using iPod and amazon Fire HD 8. Looking for something that does not involve cd's - girl is 4 yo.

I've not looked into local language as far as streaming goes, but it might be alright as long as I can load old school mp3s. I'd love a google home, but it's not available here in Eurofag land.
 
Ao-

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Amazon Echo for most of our music...

But otherwise the oldest (5yo) has a CD player in her room.
 
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Crone

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Izo said:
What kind of audio setup do you guys have for your kids? Docking station maybe? Using iPod and amazon Fire HD 8. Looking for something that does not involve cd's - girl is 4 yo.

I've not looked into local language as far as streaming goes, but it might be alright as long as I can load old school mp3s. I'd love a google home, but it's not available here in Eurofag land.
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$23 CD player from Walmart with a yiruma piano Cd I burned on endless repeat every single night. Works great! :)
 
ZyyzYzzy

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Noodleface said:
Bath time used to be fairly awesome, kid would sit and lay down as required and just play with toys for 10 or so minutes. Now bath time is a nightmare. He stands the whole time and tries to climb out so someone has to sort of hold him to just stand there. When we need to rinse him with water from the top town insane tears start happening. Major flip outs and tantrums. It's like.. Dude just sit and lay down and this would be so easy.

Someone tell me this is just a phase....
Click to expand...
Either see if he likes showering with either of you, or bubbles, lots of bubbles. and a new bath toy he will like.
 
Noodleface

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Good call on the bubbles, I'll try that. We tried new bath toys but he's completely disinterested.

Got the info today for early intervention as we just had the 18 month checkup, still with no words. He's doing really good overall in every aspect except speaking by himself.
 
Julian The Apostate

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Need some advice from the brain trust. My girlfriend of two years is moving in within the next two weeks. She has a 10 year old son. I have no kids and have never lived with any children before so I'm a bit nervous. He'll be with us for about 9 out of 14 days every two weeks and with his dad the other days. Me and her son have a pretty good relationship. He's a really good kid and thinks the world of me from what she tells me. He brags to his friend and teachers about me and he's really excited about moving in too. He loves that I play video games, he's super excited I'm gonna give him my PS4 for his room(his mom could never afford one for him bring a single mom). At the beginning of the relationship it was really tough/weird for me all of a sudden having a 8 year old in my life that I didn't really have any attachment to but ive really come to terms with it with the last 8 months and accept him fully as someone that's going to be in my life going forward. I'm not looking to replace his dad at all, even though his dad is a douche. I just want to be a really positive person and relationship in his life. Any advice from someone that went through a similar situation?
 
Cad

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Julian The Apostate said:
Need some advice from the brain trust. My girlfriend of two years is moving in within the next two weeks. She has a 10 year old son. I have no kids and have never lived with any children before so I'm a bit nervous. He'll be with us for about 9 out of 14 days every two weeks and with his dad the other days. Me and her son have a pretty good relationship. He's a really good kid and thinks the world of me from what she tells me. He brags to his friend and teachers about me and he's really excited about moving in too. He loves that I play video games, he's super excited I'm gonna give him my PS4 for his room(his mom could never afford one for him bring a single mom). At the beginning of the relationship it was really tough/weird for me all of a sudden having a 8 year old in my life that I didn't really have any attachment to but ive really come to terms with it with the last 8 months and accept him fully as someone that's going to be in my life going forward. I'm not looking to replace his dad at all, even though his dad is a douche. I just want to be a really positive person and relationship in his life. Any advice from someone that went through a similar situation?
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Well, you'll be in the position of kind of having to be a dad to him, but the mom might backlash on you if you try to be a dad. I'd take your cues from the mom on how much responsibility and influence she wants you to have. Could be anywhere from the cool older brother/buddy to the surrogate dad the kid might need. I think talking to the mom and really hashing out an agreement/expectations in advance and then continuing to communicate about it and adjusting to the situation will be best.
 
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lurkingdirk

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I think one thing you want to avoid is to first and foremost be his buddy. There are going to be many times where he is going to have to respect the authority your station in life grants you over him, like if your girlfriend has to run to the store and he stays home. I'm not suggesting you thunder in and beat your chest and establish your dominance in all situations. But whether or not you want to replace his dad, you're going to be acting as such some times. And that can be a very good thing.

I would also be very clear both to him and his mom that you are there to help mom do her job and enforce whatever rules she might lay down. Be consistent.

I would also strongly encourage you to talk to your girlfriend about this frequently. Have regular talks about your relationship with her son, what her expectations are of you, what she expects of her son in your relationship. Check in with her often on these topics.

Finally, talk to the kid. Yeah, you're going to be "in charge" at times, but it is also healthy to show you're unsure, too. Tell him you are worried you'll mess things up, reassure him that he's not the only one in the room that is worried or stressed. That will go a long way.
 
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Noodleface

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When my mothers boyfriend (now my step-dad) moved in, all I wanted was some engagement and him to care. He did neither and I'm not particularly fond of the man. He provided a good home and anything we needed but not much beyond that. Often put himself and his own kids over us (and still does)

Don't be that guy.
 
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Ao-

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My step-dads have been great. Growing up my mother married my first step-dad (they started dating when I was 9), and he was great. He was there with engagement and cared about it (it was his first marriage and the first time he dealt with kids). He had done family law for a while so he understood quite a bit about it though. They got divorced when I was ~23. My mom started dating another guy when I was ~30, and they're married now and he's as close as I'd like (not that close, since we're all adults now, but close enough that I don't mind talking to him for an extended period of time). We share some hobbies so it's pretty nice. His kids were dickheads previously (see this thread many pages ago), but at a funeral for my grandfather they showed up and were supportive of my mom and grandma.


It's a tough line, moving between father-figure and friend, but just keep reiterating the boundaries with the kids mom.
 
ToeMissile

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Not something I've had to deal with but like others have said, as long as you understand the gf's expectations and communicate with her, just be a positive, supportive adult in the kids life. Seems like you already have a solid rapport with him, I imagine that's half the battle.

In soon-to-be-a-parent news; the wife is 26 weeks tomorrow. At the most recent check up, while the Dr was using a little hand-held heartbeat monitor the baby was moving around trying to avoid it. And when the Dr did tracker her down, she kick/punched back. Twice. Pretty sure she's going to be a feisty one.
 
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iannis

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lurkingdirk said:
I think one thing you want to avoid is to first and foremost be his buddy. There are going to be many times where he is going to have to respect the authority your station in life grants you over him, like if your girlfriend has to run to the store and he stays home. I'm not suggesting you thunder in and beat your chest and establish your dominance in all situations. But whether or not you want to replace his dad, you're going to be acting as such some times. And that can be a very good thing.

I would also be very clear both to him and his mom that you are there to help mom do her job and enforce whatever rules she might lay down. Be consistent.

I would also strongly encourage you to talk to your girlfriend about this frequently. Have regular talks about your relationship with her son, what her expectations are of you, what she expects of her son in your relationship. Check in with her often on these topics.

Finally, talk to the kid. Yeah, you're going to be "in charge" at times, but it is also healthy to show you're unsure, too. Tell him you are worried you'll mess things up, reassure him that he's not the only one in the room that is worried or stressed. That will go a long way.
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I'm not entirely sure that I would do that last part. If the kid is clever he'll try to manipulate you with it. I wouldn't admit any insecurities to the child, but I would to his mother. I think you can still reassure him in that way without having to admit to fault. You never want to hear that your stepdad doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, and there's a danger with child thinking that's what he'll hear.

But I guess it depends on the kid. And lurk actually has kids, where all I do is interact with other peoples. I'd still be cautious of that. My dad did that shit to me... and I don't think it fucked me up. But I also don't think it did us any particular good.
 
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