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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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alavaz
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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I thought you were going to say you'd ask your mom because she raised one.
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Noodleface
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Aldarion
Egg Nazi
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I always enjoy the civilized and adult discourse you bring to the table. Spanking has been widely considered one of the most effective tools for training young children for literally millennia, is still used occasionally by most actual parents, and I've personally witnessed it as an effective and non-damaging tool both on the receiving and delivering end. Literally every child in my family was spanked, and turned out great. Good well adjusted human beings with great relationships with our parents. All 3 of my kids have been spanked perhaps 2-3 times in their lives, and they are all phenomenal human beings who are better behaved than most other kids I meet, and adore and respect me.
But you want to come to the grown up thread and label anyone who does this a shitty human being. Thanks for bringing your wealth of insights, as always.
Guess I'll discard millennia of teachings and a lifetime of direct experience because some overly sensitive snowflake on a messageboard thinks it seems mean and worries it might hurt somebodies feelings.
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I don't really have a dog in this fight, but your argument is basically "it's the way we've always done it" from a civilization stand point... and we've evolved past most of that shit and understand emotional bonds and violence more better than we ever have in the past.
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Noodleface
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Aldarion
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That was one of my arguments. Not the only one. And yes, when something has worked well for millennia, that is a point worth considering.
Also, spanking is not violence. Anyone making that claim either hasnt seen normal, healthy spanking or hasnt seen actual violence.
I do hear what youre saying, but speaking as someone who smoked cigarettes for about 10 years -- no one ever smoked a cigarette and honestly said to themself "yup that was good for me". Its pretty obvious during and after the experience of smoking that its bad for you.
As opposed to spanking, which after you experience it from giving and receiving ends, its obvious it was a good and non damaging thing. I remember the last spanking my dad gave me, and I deserved it. And I learned the lesson. And I dont resent him at all for it; I respect him more because I know he didnt want to do it but he knew it was necessary.
ZyyzYzzy
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Oh no, someone disagrees with you. How about you shut the fuck up?
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alavaz
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I don't truly care if anyone spanks their kids or not. But I will say that every guy that I hear talking about how pa' gave them woopins' and they turned out just fine, didn't actually turn out fine and I wouldn't want to model mine or my kids lives after any of theirs.
Noodleface
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I was spanked, albeit not very often (my brother got it worse). It never did anything but cause resentment to me. I'm partially overzealous in my response because my mother was straight up abused and I think the line between punishment and abuse is very thin.
Big_w_powah
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On the spanking topic;
I have adopted kids who dealt with abuse in the past. They 100% would not benefit from a spanking; Would trigger a PTSD like response most likely.
However, your average kid? If its a "okay, you literally shot the dog with a BB gun, you're getting a goddamn spanking" moment once in a blue moon? It may be an effective tool. Thats the thing, it can't be routine. If its routine it becomes easier for the child to deal with and the fear of it fades..It also starts to cross into abuse really easy that way.
What I'm trying to get at, is it has to be a tool used sparingly, and it has to be done with a level head. If you're pissed? You don't touch that kid. You WILL hit too hard.
I have adopted kids who dealt with abuse in the past. They 100% would not benefit from a spanking; Would trigger a PTSD like response most likely.
However, your average kid? If its a "okay, you literally shot the dog with a BB gun, you're getting a goddamn spanking" moment once in a blue moon? It may be an effective tool. Thats the thing, it can't be routine. If its routine it becomes easier for the child to deal with and the fear of it fades..It also starts to cross into abuse really easy that way.
What I'm trying to get at, is it has to be a tool used sparingly, and it has to be done with a level head. If you're pissed? You don't touch that kid. You WILL hit too hard.
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chaos
Buzzfeed Editor
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Spanking is absolutely violence. If you tried to spank an adult (outside of consensual sex situations, etc) you'd be breaking the law.
And it's pretty much bullshit to try and pull this "well it's worked for millennia" card when the definition you have of spanking is not shared by even a tiny minority of people alive during that time period. We don't need flaky subjective experiences, we have actual data overwhelmingly showing that it doesn't work effectively and it damages the child in more ways than are immediately obvious. At no point is the use of violence to control behavior tied to improved results in late childhood or adulthood, it's the exact opposite.
And it's pretty much bullshit to try and pull this "well it's worked for millennia" card when the definition you have of spanking is not shared by even a tiny minority of people alive during that time period. We don't need flaky subjective experiences, we have actual data overwhelmingly showing that it doesn't work effectively and it damages the child in more ways than are immediately obvious. At no point is the use of violence to control behavior tied to improved results in late childhood or adulthood, it's the exact opposite.
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I love that you're changing the definition of violence to fit your argument.
A++ would watch again.
only change knife to violence.
Noodleface
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Arative
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How do you guys deal with different Santa traditions? Like with my family, Santa came to everyone's house and left gifts for everyone, that my grandmother would bring when we all got together. With my wife, it was Santa only came to her house and no where else.
vGrade
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I grew up with friends with parents who only had to say things like " We dont act like that in the store." and it worked amazingly well. If my parents tried that shit with me I would be in fucking jail. Spankings do work. Not all kids are the same. Anyone who says otherwise got the luck of the draw with their kids or is a fucking idiot like some in this thread.
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