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Keystone

Keystone

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I've been lurking in this thread for a bit and wanted to thank you guys for posting about all this stuff. Some of it is pretty insightful, hillarious, or scary; all of which I feel is useful.

My wife is having twins so I've been trying to prepare by reading up on this thread (lol?) while I'm at work and have some downtime. Just a little about us, basically we tried for a while and had multiple super early miscarriages (they called them chemical pregnancies, if we weren't actively trying and her peeing on a stick every other day most people would probably never have known about them) so we ended up doing IVF and getting genetics testing and pretty much everything else we could do tested. She's almost 29 weeks at the moment with healthy twin boys. Technically her 40 week "due date" is February 28th, but we were originally told being twins they wouldn't let her go past 38 weeks. Unfortunately now she's in the hospital likely until she has them with preeclampsia and we're being told that they wont' allow her to go past 34 weeks due to her condition for her own health, so it looks like we'll be having them mid January if not before.

For us I think so far one of the more entertaining parts of the whole process has been torturing their grandparents by not telling them names we're thinking about / leaning toward at the moment. It's absolutely driving them CRAZY, but we a) aren't set on anything yet and more importantly b) don't want to risk telling someone before we are committed and getting a reaction that changes our minds.
 
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Larnix

Larnix

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We did not tell anyone any names before either of our children were born, some people were really supportive and it really bothered others. I think family just wants to have some sort of input.
 
Ravishing

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Keystone said:
I've been lurking in this thread for a bit and wanted to thank you guys for posting about all this stuff. Some of it is pretty insightful, hillarious, or scary; all of which I feel is useful.

My wife is having twins so I've been trying to prepare by reading up on this thread (lol?) while I'm at work and have some downtime. Just a little about us, basically we tried for a while and had multiple super early miscarriages (they called them chemical pregnancies, if we weren't actively trying and her peeing on a stick every other day most people would probably never have known about them) so we ended up doing IVF and getting genetics testing and pretty much everything else we could do tested. She's almost 29 weeks at the moment with healthy twin boys. Technically her 40 week "due date" is February 28th, but we were originally told being twins they wouldn't let her go past 38 weeks. Unfortunately now she's in the hospital likely until she has them with preeclampsia and we're being told that they wont' allow her to go past 34 weeks due to her condition for her own health, so it looks like we'll be having them mid January if not before.

For us I think so far one of the more entertaining parts of the whole process has been torturing their grandparents by not telling them names we're thinking about / leaning toward at the moment. It's absolutely driving them CRAZY, but we a) aren't set on anything yet and more importantly b) don't want to risk telling someone before we are committed and getting a reaction that changes our minds.
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About the same situation my wife & I were in, we didn't do IVF but did drugs to help improve our odds, and it worked... x3.
20 months old now and she had them at 34 weeks, which is amazing for triplets. Average for triplets is 28-32 weeks I believe.
All are healthy and great. Son had an extra digit on 1 hand but that was it, it's since been corrected.

The other 2 are girls.

They are toddler age and cute most of the time but they are pros at taking turns throwing tantrums over the stupidest shit.

Multiples is tough though. Twins should be manageable. Your wife might be able to go out solo with them and stay mostly sane. With 3 my wife has had to lean on a lot of help to be able to get out of the house. She'll take 1 out with her still, no way could she do 3 by herself yet. And we're the type of people that don't like getting a lot of help, so it's been quite a transition.

Should start to ease up soonish. Potty training is really soon and learning to say more words hopefully helps prevent some tantrums. And then 3 years until pre-K or whatever, just around the corner tbh.
 
fred sanford

fred sanford

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Larnix said:
We did not tell anyone any names before either of our children were born, some people were really supportive and it really bothered others. I think family just wants to have some sort of input.
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We ended up changing my son's name right before he was born because my mother in law can't keep her mouth shut. We had a front runner name picked and she planted her two cents into my wife's head and we ended up changing it. In the end it's all good but she does annoying shit like that. For my daughter I made my wife keep it under wraps, drove her mom bat shit crazy... Mission Accomplished
 
Noodleface

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moonarchia said:
Spanking has its place in your repertoire of tools as a parent, but it should be the last resort. Things that need immediate obedience. Screaming in public, hitting their siblings or animals, etc. Short sharp shock of pain makes the lesson stick. It's Pavlovian. Words are best, but they won't always be effective. If you're not willing and able to do your duty as a parent, then you are failing your child in the long run. Spare the rod, spoil the child isn't hyperbole. You can look at the self entitled cunts running the SJW show for all the proof you'll ever need for that.
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Spanking for screaming in public seems a bit absurd.

My kid behaves in public most of the time, it's the other demon kids that I wonder about
 
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Larnix

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fred sanford said:
We ended up changing my son's name right before he was born because my mother in law can't keep her mouth shut. We had a front runner name picked and she planted her two cents into my wife's head and we ended up changing it. In the end it's all good but she does annoying shit like that. For my daughter I made my wife keep it under wraps, drove her mom bat shit crazy... Mission Accomplished
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My wife and I didn't even decide on our sons name until after he was born. His name placard only had his last name on it because I had to wait for my wife to come back to the room after the C-section. My wife had a girls name picked out from the start but I thought it would be a boy so I didn't tell her I didn't like it until we found out it was a girl late into her pregnancy.
 
Noodleface

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We chose our sons names at about the 6 month mark and didn't tell anyone. The problem with telling people early is everyone always has some negative opinion or something. We chose Nathan for our first born and people would be like "don't you remember Dave's kid Nathan, he was a DICK". Don't need to hear that shit.
 
Springbok

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Ya I find it hilarious when you toss out names and everyone pulls a face - it's like dude, your name is fucking Tony you have no leg to stand on
 
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Xarpolis

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Naming kids is rough. For our first child, we didn't know if it was going to be boy or girl, so we chose 2 names. We ended up with our daughter, Natsumi.

For our second, we wanted to know right away if it was boy or girl. As soon as they showed us "and here's the dick" (that's actually what the ultrasound tech said), I knew he was going to be Tyler. It's actually the name we were going to use if our first was a boy. But we did change the middle name.

People knowing the name Tyler was a little rough, just because other people associated it with other Tylers that they knew. "Wendy's son is Tyler, and he has autism. Are you sure that's a good name?" Seriously, what the fuck does a name have to do with being autistic? People are stupid.

Anyway, our son is Tyler with the middle name Kyo. I love it because I'm always saying "Tyler KYOOOOOOOO" and he smiles/laughs.
 
Cad

Cad

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Xarpolis said:
Naming kids is rough. For our first child, we didn't know if it was going to be boy or girl, so we chose 2 names. We ended up with our daughter, Natsumi.

For our second, we wanted to know right away if it was boy or girl. As soon as they showed us "and here's the dick" (that's actually what the ultrasound tech said), I knew he was going to be Tyler. It's actually the name we were going to use if our first was a boy. But we did change the middle name.

People knowing the name Tyler was a little rough, just because other people associated it with other Tylers that they knew. "Wendy's son is Tyler, and he has autism. Are you sure that's a good name?" Seriously, what the fuck does a name have to do with being autistic? People are stupid.

Anyway, our son is Tyler with the middle name Kyo. I love it because I'm always saying "Tyler KYOOOOOOOO" and he smiles/laughs.
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Why did you give your girl a japanese name but your boy an american name?
 
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Xarpolis

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I did it because girls having a more "exotic" name is common, where as men tend to traditionally have less exotic. So that's why we did it. It's primarily a mentality I had while in Pennsylvania that doesn't really carry over here. I've just always liked the name Tyler, so that was going to be his name regardless of anything else.
 
Cad

Cad

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Xarpolis said:
I did it because girls having a more "exotic" name is common, where as men tend to traditionally have less exotic. So that's why we did it. It's primarily a mentality I had while in Pennsylvania that doesn't really carry over here. I've just always liked the name Tyler, so that was going to be his name regardless of anything else.
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In hawaii it might not be a big deal since that is a very asian community, but if you move back to the continental U.S. I'd reconsider this. Half asians will have enough identity issues and wondering which group they fit with (asians or whites) without there being a clear dividing line even in their own family. I'm sure the name isn't going to be a decisive factor or anything but I'd just give that some thought.
 
moonarchia

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Noodleface said:
Spanking for screaming in public seems a bit absurd.

My kid behaves in public most of the time, it's the other demon kids that I wonder about
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There are lines. My sister and I raised holy hell once and only once in a restaurant. I was maybe 4 at the time. We ruined everyone in the vicinity's night, basically. My parents took us out to the car and when we got home we each got spanked.
 
Xarpolis

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When my daughter was young and being a bitch by flipping out in public, I would quickly leave the area and take a walk with her. She would cry constantly while we walk, but eventually stopped and got over it. Then we would go back where we were and enjoy the place in quiet. It worked every time, but the length of the walk would randomly change. Sometimes 2-3 minutes, sometimes 10. But that's why there are 2 parents. One to hold your spot while the other takes care of difficult children by just walking with them until they calm down.
 
Ryanz

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Man, I can't even imagine having twins or multiples. That's gotta be one hell of a ride :eek:

As far as the naming thing, we also waited till the very last minute ( mainly because of me). My wife is a very impatient person and wanted to know definitively what his name was going to be early on, so we made a short list with one name that was most likely "the one". I said I at least wanted to see the little guy before I slapped a name on him, and that's what we did. We even had to decline the record keeper who comes around and asks what his name is going to be while at the hospital, just to give it another day to be absolutely certain.

We also had everyone trying to pry a name or a short list of names from us. Everyone wants to be the first to know, or be a part of the group that knows. Being the person I am, anytime someone tried to get some information from me I'd just smirk at them and say nothing else. It was part of the fun.

We chose the name Ryker for our son, so of course there's going to be "those people" who are like, "but what about Rikers Island???". Me personally, I didn't even know what that was, and I would assume most people when my son is older won't either. Also, you can't really fall into that kinda trap. If you really wanted you could honestly find something terrible associated with every single name out there, so at the end of the day just name your damn kid what you want (within reason of course) and don't worry what others say about it.
 
Ronaan

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fred sanford said:
We ended up changing my son's name right before he was born because my mother in law can't keep her mouth shut. We had a front runner name picked and she planted her two cents into my wife's head and we ended up changing it. In the end it's all good but she does annoying shit like that. For my daughter I made my wife keep it under wraps, drove her mom bat shit crazy... Mission Accomplished
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Oh man I'd be the kind of guy to switch around the name randomly five times just to piss a person like that off as much as possible.

Nobody gave a fuck about our kids' names but then one is named after my maternal grandmother with the godmother's name as middle, the other is a flavour of the year name with the female version of the godfather's name as middle. I always said if I ever have a girl she'll be named after my grandmother and I would not have had it any other way.

Edit: the whole "yeah I know someone by that name and he's a dick" thing is funny and awful at the same time. Plus autism. I have 300 people with varying degrees of mental illness here at work, thank god none of them has the same name as my kids or else the sky would fall.
 
chaos

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Xarpolis said:
When my daughter was young and being a bitch by flipping out in public, I would quickly leave the area and take a walk with her. She would cry constantly while we walk, but eventually stopped and got over it. Then we would go back where we were and enjoy the place in quiet. It worked every time, but the length of the walk would randomly change. Sometimes 2-3 minutes, sometimes 10. But that's why there are 2 parents. One to hold your spot while the other takes care of difficult children by just walking with them until they calm down.
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This is how I handled my kids in the past. It always seems to work, just removing them from the situation and giving them a minute to calm down, talking to them, reinforcing what is expected, etc. My biggest challenge has been maintaining my composure and modeling the behavior I want them to show. Its hard when you're pissed off, or the kids just do some stupid nonsense. Personally, I always feel much better when I've been able to handle things like this, a little walk and conversation and we're back with the group having fun.
 
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Noodleface

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I know elf on the shelf is sort of hipster level shit but goddamn it works. My MIL got us one and we've been moving him around at night. My son named him Fred (?????) and tells us that he's being good because Fred is always watching.

Also... Uh... We opened the box and Fred was fucking black. Not that I mind but my son keeps saying he's a shadow

IMG_20171213_194918.jpg
 
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