Aldarion
Egg Nazi
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12 years old is old enough not to cut a giant fart at the dinner table. I get the humor of the situation and everything, and thats a funny comeback, but what in the actual fuck?
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Oblio
Utah
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A month or so ago we stopped enforcing an early bedtime for my two teenage boys. Instead we now have a no device rule after 10pm. They are free to stay up and read after 10pm, but no phone no video games etc. A couple of days ago both of their alarm clocks both mysteriously broke. Both boys almost missed the bus for school this morning because they were tired and dragging ass. This is our family group text and this exchange is between me and my younger son. Too harsh?
Also, the walk to school is about one hour, not two. And yes, my younger son has a potty mouth, again he will learn actions have consequences if he slips up while at school or in front of other adults in my presence. He knows this and has managed to keep it clean when around adults/at school.
Also, the walk to school is about one hour, not two. And yes, my younger son has a potty mouth, again he will learn actions have consequences if he slips up while at school or in front of other adults in my presence. He knows this and has managed to keep it clean when around adults/at school.
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Prodigal
Shitlord, Offender of the Universe
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Heh not harsh at all. Once my kids hit the teens they learned that the uttering the phrase “not fair” around me was a big fucking mistake.
Probably shared this before, but my mother was a social worker in child protective services for years while I was growing up. I gained a whole new perspective on just how unfucking fair life can be. Cured my naive ass of that phrase too.
Probably shared this before, but my mother was a social worker in child protective services for years while I was growing up. I gained a whole new perspective on just how unfucking fair life can be. Cured my naive ass of that phrase too.
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My oldest is 7 and I tell her all the time life isn't fair. Get over it...
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8:30 bed times? That's when my eight year old goes to bed.
What's with your kid saying 'fuck head' in that conversation? I get that teenagers will talk like that with each other, but they should also learn to talk like a normal respectful person. I've told my kids, I don't care how you talk with your friends but at home you talk nice/normal.
What's with your kid saying 'fuck head' in that conversation? I get that teenagers will talk like that with each other, but they should also learn to talk like a normal respectful person. I've told my kids, I don't care how you talk with your friends but at home you talk nice/normal.
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Oblio
Utah
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They wake by 6:30am to make the bus for school. 8:30pm = 10 hours. Sleep is huge for kids, but they will be out of the house in 5-6 years and have to learn to manage their own schedule. Did we hold to that bedtime a little too long? Maybe, but it's what worked for us as a family.
I already covered the potty mouth in my original post, but to elaborate...in my experience adults spend their adulthood pretending they don't cuss by not saying foul things in front of kids and kids spend their childhood the same way in front of adults. I have been in boardrooms with executives dropping F bombs every other word. I went to a Catholic HS and the Priests/Brothers would cuss. My experience is that the vast majority of people use foul language (myself included). Also, don't get me started on the words/phrases I heard when playing football. I have also found the more I correct him the more he does it, the less I react the less he does it. In this case he was trying to be funny. The bigger teaching moment in this scenario was about responsibility and managing their time better.
Also, for context both my kids are in AP/Honors classes, have straight A's and play sports year round. My wife and I receive nothing but praise from coaches and school staff regarding our kids behavior. I am just not going to get hung up on a few foul words here and there.
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the fact you felt the need to ask if that is harsh says alot about how pussified our culture is. I would of had my ass whipped up to 17 years old for missing the bus or whatever.
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ToeMissile
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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I would say making them walk depends on their age, what the route is like (busy/dangerous traffic, shitty neighborhoods), trustworthiness/awareness to make appropriate/safe choices on the way, etc.
You could also just follow them in the car to keep an eye on them and yell out the window, “Better hurry up!”, “Looks hot/cold out there, too bad there’s no A/C”, etc
You could also just follow them in the car to keep an eye on them and yell out the window, “Better hurry up!”, “Looks hot/cold out there, too bad there’s no A/C”, etc
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Personally I'd find a different way to enforce discipline than make the kids walk to school. Education is their job and choosing a punishment that forces them to miss it seems off target. If you don't like the standard grounding or loss of privileges, just take their devices, shut off their wifi, and cut the power to their rooms at 9PM so they have nothing to do but sleep.
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Oblio
Utah
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I appreciate all the feedback, I honestly do. I posted this because I figured other parents here deal with similar issues. I also thought it would get a few laughs. I know my kids well and the mere threat of having to walk will be motivation enough for them. I doubt I will ever have to enforce this threat. I would also make an exception if it was winter time with a foot of snow. Also, our area is very safe.
C Captain Suave Your suggestion is basically our new system and technically it is 9:30pm for the younger one. My boys are 13 and 14.
TomServo
I don't put my hands on my kids. There is no need for me to prove what all three of us already know. I am a large man and IMHO a man does not abuse his power. The tone I take (when needed) is enough for them to get inline.
C Captain Suave Your suggestion is basically our new system and technically it is 9:30pm for the younger one. My boys are 13 and 14.
TomServo
I don't put my hands on my kids. There is no need for me to prove what all three of us already know. I am a large man and IMHO a man does not abuse his power. The tone I take (when needed) is enough for them to get inline.- 1
Koushirou
Log Wizard
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I would assume it would also include anything that was missed, they need to be proactive about making it up with their teachers. I missed busses a couple of times over the years, and you bet I had to go ahead and hoof it to school, since my parents were at work and I'd be getting an earful as soon as they came home and they got called from school.
It's not just about the academic material. Unexcused absences, even partial days, go on file and can have a variety of consequences including unpleasant visits from child services for truancy.
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When I was growing up English was our third language and my parents would swear in English all the time. It didn't mean anything. If they were really mad they would swear in their first language, and then you knew it was serious. Hearing them do this didn't desensitize me, it prepared me to be able to find the appropriate time for that language and when it was inappropriate. I have definitely cursed in front of my children. Their hockey coaches do, too. I hear them doing it when they're on the ice saying things to each other. My kids have demonstrated the same approach to this as I have: if you're just fucking around, let it fly. If you're seriously angry, don't descend to bad language and give reasons to be more angry with you. And also to have the appropriate filter. Talking to grandma? "how the hell are you?" is not appropriate.
When we our twins were about 4 we were struggling as new, young parents (had 2 more, younger ones), we were struggling. It was a very tense situation (not violent, nothing ever like that, just clear unease in the air) and my 4 year old daughter is standing between us and just yells "FUCK" at the top of her lungs. Clearly we felt like shit parents at that point, because that behavior is learned at home. A few weeks later we found out that one of her uncles (who is a douchebag) taught her the word and to shout it when she was mad or sad.
That uncle has not spent a lot of time with my children since.
When we our twins were about 4 we were struggling as new, young parents (had 2 more, younger ones), we were struggling. It was a very tense situation (not violent, nothing ever like that, just clear unease in the air) and my 4 year old daughter is standing between us and just yells "FUCK" at the top of her lungs. Clearly we felt like shit parents at that point, because that behavior is learned at home. A few weeks later we found out that one of her uncles (who is a douchebag) taught her the word and to shout it when she was mad or sad.
That uncle has not spent a lot of time with my children since.
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TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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I finally got my kid off her stupid ass paw patrol and other garbage and onto my childhood favorite. The 1987 Ninja Turtles cartoon.
When comparing it to modern kids stuff like Cricket City Greens and Bluey the Turtles are just weirdly innocent and completely absurd at all times. I only vaguely remember the episodes because the plot was always Shredder trying to foil the turtles or some other thing.
But I found myself laughing at how absurd the show was. Turtles training for "jungle fighting" in the the middle of Central Park and Shredder randomly hiding in the bushes because why else would they be jungle training? Not really sure how to describe it I guess but modern shows don't seem to have this level of absurdity driving the show.
When comparing it to modern kids stuff like Cricket City Greens and Bluey the Turtles are just weirdly innocent and completely absurd at all times. I only vaguely remember the episodes because the plot was always Shredder trying to foil the turtles or some other thing.
But I found myself laughing at how absurd the show was. Turtles training for "jungle fighting" in the the middle of Central Park and Shredder randomly hiding in the bushes because why else would they be jungle training? Not really sure how to describe it I guess but modern shows don't seem to have this level of absurdity driving the show.
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ToeMissile
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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