Parent Thread

chaos_sl said:

Of course MAC filtering will keep the kid off the net. Keep to internet-doctoring, you're no IT security guru.

I know this may be hard for you to understand, but let us imagine that he did talk to his kid and that his kid tried to get over anyway. Scheduling is actually a fairly common way for parents to enforce screen time restrictions, and programming that into the router takes all of the conflict out of it. To me, it is the second best option.

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If you feel the need to restrict access, then you're already far down the losing road. I thought we went over this mechanism a while back, like spanking your kid - if you see that as the only option, you failed hard.

I understand perfectly what you're saying. It's not really rocket science to set up mac filtering and scheduling on home routers. Did I mention I was CCNA, TSM, MCSE a while back? Oh well, Mr. IT guru. Anyway, to humor you, reset to default, other points of access, assuming you don't live in the amazon jungle - neighbors wlan, borrowing a friends 3g dongle etc etc etc. I'm sure keeping a mac address positive list is serious business for you if you have guests or your wife has friends over or whatnot. That's just silly to me, regardless of how seamless you can set it up.Let me google circumventing mac filter for you.

Assuming they don't get that far circumventing - age or maturity - I'd think your solution last only so long as your kids find out it works differently elsewhere - friends, school, library, whatnot - no scheduling or filtering in the same way. That leaves you with a kid who knows you're a dick who prefers to restrict them rather than talk to them. It seems short sighted, and rather detrimental for future talks of importance. I'd talk to them instead, repeatedly and in due time before the problems arise. And when they do arise, then talk to them some more. Why must it always be about being in control like some roman Pater Familias - punishing, restricting? Didn't they teach you Newtons third law in school?


It's much the same with microorganisms to draw a parallel to a universe I know a fair bit about - you chose the selection pressure with invasive procedures, antibiotics and whatnot. To put it simple, selection pressure drives MRSA and other multi resistant organisms on a short scale. That's what we want to avoid - don't force your kids to be good at circumventing your security measures - unless you really want them to be IT nerds. Give them other challenges in life, academic, whatnot, and in due time to reduce the pressure. Guide, don't restrict. Depending on your schedule, that is what you're doing. But it's not seamless and undetectable in the long run - and you're already down the path that can lead to conflict anyway.

Lastly, I don't think it's a great idea to restrict the social lives of kids. The internet, facebook, twitter, whatnot is their way of communicating and socializing. Pressure them on this vital point and they may react stronger than we like - if it's too restrictive. I'm sure you know what acetaminophen poisoning does for instance. I'm not advocating one let fear dictate parenting strategy, but some things are not worth the hassle.

I'm sure we agree on most. You think the filter is smart, I don't. My question would be: What would a Chaos approved non provocative schedule look like? Why are you not running into problems with this?

World-class doctor, IT wizard, and perfect parent. Is there anything you AREN'T good at? Like, interacting with other humans, perhaps?

OneofOne_sl said:

World-class doctor, IT wizard, and perfect parent. Is there anything you AREN'T good at? Like, interacting with other humans, perhaps?

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Speaking of interacting, why don't you show us how to stick to the subject of the last few pages, not to mention the thread title? Or are you trying to show us the other end of the spectrum? Shrug.

Let me help you: What's a fair internet schedule - what doesn't get one in trouble, parenting wise? What's your take on this?

Tuco_sl said:

Izo knock this know it all shit off. You have no credibility when it comes to explaining how to deal with people, so don't try to argue from a position from authority.

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Deathwing_sl said:

If my kid could find a way around a MAC id ban from a password protected router, he/she is free to use all the internet he/she wants.

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The 'dumb kids' argument was over the top, granted. I'll apologize for that.

I'd still argue the 'people' we're talking about here are our kids - and our take on parenting. My credibility has little to do with whether restrictive technology should substitute for communication with our kids. An argument stands or falls on it's own merits.

Izo_sl said:

The 'dumb kids' argument was over the top, granted. I'll apologize for that.

I'd still argue the 'people' we're talking about here are our kids - and our take on parenting. My credibility has little to do with whether restrictive technology should substitute for communication with our kids. An argument stands or falls on it's own merits.

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Serious question - how do you stand yourself?

Do you ever get tired of people just constantly rolling their eyes at you any time you open your mouth?

You are honestly one of the last people here that I'd take advice from.

Etoille_sl said:

Serious question - how do you stand yourself?

Do you ever get tired of people just constantly rolling their eyes at you any time you open your mouth?

You are honestly one of the last people here that I'd take advice from.

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Is it time for your menses already? My my, time flies. Let's see how long it takes you to get back on topic.

So, I've come across this problem with my son (he's 3, almost 4) and his sisters never went through this, so I'm hoping someone may be able to offer some insight.

He straight up refuses to eat dinner. When its time for dinner and everyone is at the table, he drinks his drink and sees other people eating and asks if he can have some. I'm done trying to reason with him about the fact that he has the same food on his plate, I just want him to eat. So I'll put a little on my fork, he'll come over, open his mouth, then just lose his shit and start saying no and he doesn't want to eat dinner. I'm at the point now where its either eat or go to bed, I'm not going to give you cereal for dinner every night. This, of course devolves into another shitfit where he doesn't want to go to bed either, but that's a whole different beast.

Like I said, his sisters NEVER went through this. It's just the mere idea of dinner just unleashes the rampaging hellbeast within him. I don't even say "dinner time" anymore, just in case he has some sort of weird Pavlovian response to that word to start acting up. Any ideas?

Contest of wills, he's basically fucking with you. The psuedopsych way to say it is that he's establishing a sense of self and going through separa... you get the idea.

You can starve him out, you can forcefeed him. Neither will send him screaming to a shrink in 15 years to talk shit about you, but you'll probably have some distress doing it.

You can trick him. You can set a plate "for" someone else, and feed him off that plate. You can overtire him and not let him eat during the day so that the little fucker is HUNGRY when it's time for dinner.

What you need to not do is what you're already not doing. You need to not cave and give him cereal (or whatever food is his favorite atm) because you're afraid he's starving to death. Basically don't engage him in that childish fashion. That will do more harm than being hungry for a few days and realizing for himself that it's ok to eat with his family will do him. Kids do get weird aversions and phobias sometimes for reasons that aren't always obvious or even make any fucking sense. And I'm assuming that the kid is healthy otherwise -- if he's had a stomach flu recently he may just be remembering pain or something like that and not eating for that reason. It does kinda depend on why he won't eat -- and a 4 year old isn't going to be able to tell you what that reason is. He'll eat when he's hungry. Just make sure he gets hungry at the right time, and eats with his family.

(I don't have kids. Sometimes the theoretical approach helps. Sometimes it doesn't.)

ITT Izo suggests spoofing a MAC address on an Ipad. Deathwing is right, if his teenage daughter can do that then Lenardo needs to get the fuck out of her way and stop stifling her so she can start innovating.

Profundis, please get some advice from izo about how to reason with your 3 year old It should go swimmingly.

Assuming it doesn't, Iannis is probably right. One of the things our pediatrician stressed to us about meal times is that is one way a toddler can exercise control, and when you consider that they have so little control over their lives that is an explanation for why you see so many control issues over mealtimes. I would just stick to your guns and monitor their food intake so you can reassure yourself you aren't starving them, eventually they will come around.

I am counting the days until mid April. I am so sick of pumping, engorgement etc. I'm going 9 months and that's it. Will start tapering and riding out to cows milk on my freezer stash. He should be eating a lot more solids at that point. I will probably continue to nurse at morning and night, maybe pump once a day at work but I can't wait to stop this craziness. I do feel some weird sense of pride that I have been able to do this but I am just looking forward to breaking up with my pump.

chaos_sl said:

ITT Izo suggests spoofing a MAC address on an Ipad. Deathwing is right, if his teenage daughter can do that then Lenardo needs to get the fuck out of her way and stop stifling her so she can start innovating.

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iPhoneMicroMod: Change Mac Address On iOS 7 +
How's your arthritis, old man? But seriously, there are so many other ways they can get on the net if they're non-techies or simply too young to comprehend it. Phones can tether to iPads f.inst.

Iannis is pretty much spot on. I don't have any game changing thoughts on the food issue. It's a control issue, no doubt. We decide bedtimes, clothes, where and when we go. Maybe if you let the kids have more leave way in some areas, you might not see the 'fuse blow' at the dinner table? Let them grow and express their desire for more responsibility in other areas? Or wait it out as chaos suggests, sure.
In any case, difficult as this might be, it is peanuts compared to so many other control issues. Call me when a type 1 diabetic kid with a permanent insulin pump starts neglecting her condition and sabotaging the pump - traumatized from all the invasive procedures and daily restrictions, and generally fed up with her disease. What advice would you give her dad when they show up at the ER, chaos? I'm dying to know. She would be too, literally.

Etoille_sl said:

I am counting the days until mid April. I am so sick of pumping, engorgement etc. I'm going 9 months and that's it. Will start tapering and riding out to cows milk on my freezer stash. He should be eating a lot more solids at that point. I will probably continue to nurse at morning and night, maybe pump once a day at work but I can't wait to stop this craziness. I do feel some weird sense of pride that I have been able to do this but I am just looking forward to breaking up with my pump.

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How much maternity leave did you have, postpartum? I realize the job market, hire-ability and maternity legislation (you're the expert, right?) is very different from Europe. I think Mrs. Izo went back to full time work 7 months after our baby girl was born. Or was it 6, hmm. Breastfed post 12 months in any case, which was a bit of a trial, but nowhere near what you've mastered, I'm sure.

Etoille_sl said:

I am counting the days until mid April. I am so sick of pumping, engorgement etc. I'm going 9 months and that's it. Will start tapering and riding out to cows milk on my freezer stash. He should be eating a lot more solids at that point. I will probably continue to nurse at morning and night, maybe pump once a day at work but I can't wait to stop this craziness. I do feel some weird sense of pride that I have been able to do this but I am just looking forward to breaking up with my pump.

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We started solids a few weeks ago... sweet potatoes, avocado, peas, carrots... she loves it all!

Izo_sl said:

How much maternity leave did you have, postpartum? I realize the job market, hire-ability and maternity legislation (you're the expert, right?) is very different from Europe. I think Mrs. Izo went back to full time work 7 months after our baby girl was born. Or was it 6, hmm. Breastfed post 12 months in any case, which was a bit of a trial, but nowhere near what you've mastered, I'm sure.

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My wife got 3 months of maternity leave, and that is definitely on the long end of normal for women in the US. A lot only get a month or two.

And Etoille, my wife is the same way. We're at 8 months now, and she really wants to get to 1 year with breastfeeding but we may not make it. Now that the kiddo has 2 top and 2 bottom teeth, I hear an audible yelp from my wife while she's feeding him at least a couple times every feeding. He's getting really, really bitey with his teething. He bites everything. Bites your shirt while you hold him, bites his stuffed animals, bites his pacifier. Breastfeeding has become quite uncomfortable for my wife, not sure we'll make it a whole lot longer just from that perspective.

Eyashusa_sl said:

We started solids a few weeks ago... sweet potatoes, avocado, peas, carrots... she loves it all!

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We started solid foods about a month ago as well. Just 1oz for dinner the first few weeks, now we're doing lunch and dinner. He HATES avocados, that was like the 3rd food we tried. Put a spoonful in his mouth and he just sat there and stared at us blankly with his mouth wide open. Would not close his mouth at all and even try to eat the avocado, lol.

He loves pears, green beans, pees, prunes, squash, and bananas though.

As another side effect, ever since we started solid food, the kiddo only poops once every 2-3 days now, instead of multiple times per day. Of course, it's a blowout of epic proportions once he does go, waiting that long, but it's almost nice not having to use multiple wipes with every diaper change.

Depending on where you are, it can get worse. Here, for example, you get six weeks unpaid. Period. That's what you get if you have a kid. So, my wife, the high school teacher, having a child during the summer months, when it didn't affect her job at all? Six weeks unpaid during the summer months.

Yeah, this country sucks dongs when people have kids.

Etoille_sl said:

I am counting the days until mid April. I am so sick of pumping, engorgement etc. I'm going 9 months and that's it. Will start tapering and riding out to cows milk on my freezer stash. He should be eating a lot more solids at that point. I will probably continue to nurse at morning and night, maybe pump once a day at work but I can't wait to stop this craziness. I do feel some weird sense of pride that I have been able to do this but I am just looking forward to breaking up with my pump.

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The pumping is what made my wife eventually stop. It just got to be too much especially once she started going back to work.

joeboo_sl said:

As another side effect, ever since we started solid food, the kiddo only poops once every 2-3 days now, instead of multiple times per day. Of course, it's a blowout of epic proportions once he does go, waiting that long, but it's almost nice not having to use multiple wipes with every diaper change.

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avocados was the first food we gave her. She is a little weary of the peas but is coming around. We've been doing a little bit of applesauce too.

And the reason I quoted this is because the pooping has been the exact opposite for us. Once we started more solid food, she went from pooping once every other day to pooping multiple times a day.

and my wife was a teacher's aide when she had our kid and she got zero maternity leave. Only some states, as far as I know with California being one of them, allow women to use disability as maternity leave.