IN CONGRESS, November 30, 2012
The unanimous Declaration of the Twelve.
When in the Course of forum events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the world wide web, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Internets and of Internet?s Ravvenn entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of forumkind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all forum members are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of a malware-free forum.--That to secure these rights, Moderators are instituted among forum members, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Forum to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Administrators, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Moderators long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that forumkind are more disposed to suffer, while evil swamp donkeys are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Pranxxxing, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Administrators, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these forums; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Administration. The history of the present King of FoHguild.org is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyennry over these forums. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world wide web.
He has refused the removal of malware warnings, the most wholesome and necessary for the forum good.
He has forbidden his true moderators to act upon issues of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to promote others of ability and righteous bearing for the accommodation of large and necessary fixes.
He has called together swamp donkey orgies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved the voice of the concerned forum member completely, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the forum.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be promoted; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the forum remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion of malware from without, and convulsions prompted by burros within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these forums; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of bots; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of bandwidth.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by allowing his donkey pets free reign amongst the forum, banning and infracting without cause.
He has eliminated the righteous embedding of videos; previously used solely for the wholesome enriching of the forum members themselves; only to allow the posting of links henceforth.
He has erected a multitude of New Moderators, and sent hither swarms of Swamp Donkeys to harrass our people, and eat out their substance, usually with herpes on their lips.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies of the most foul, hook nosed kind. He has affected to render these armies independent of and superior to the Civil power.
For cutting off our memes with all parts of the world wide web:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond the Shaw to be tried for pretended offences
He has plundered our FSR?s, ravaged our Video Threads, burnt our bandwidth, and destroyed the lives of our people.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated Pranxxxing, #totesnotcool. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyen, is unfit to be the ruler of a free forum.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Req brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of Morenetz.org, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Ravvenn of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these forums, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Forums are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Crown of Herpes, and that all political connection between them and the State of FoHguild.org, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent Forums, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract protections, establish memes, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Forums may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our tit pics, our shoops and our sacred PGT.
tl;dr:
Morenetz.org; ye matron fuckers.