So my daughter comes home from school crying. Send in the big brother?

If the school doesn't resolve it pretty soon talk to the parents. As suggested it either works, or you at least tried. If it doesn't work you can have Lil' Brahma do some passive intimidation. Not to sound racist(before sounding racist), but black people are scary. And big black people are scarier. I mean, assuming the bullies are white/not-black. You're a well to do guy who specifically moved to a good school district so the odds are good...right? So imagine some shitty little 10 year old kid sees big black 13 year old walking up to him, he's already shitting his pants. Lil' Brahma says "Hey, leave my sister alone". That's it, done. No threat, no one can say he did anything more aggressive than tell some bullies to leave his sister alone.

I mean...fuck, what's the point of a vulnerable little girl having a big scary brother if he can't protect her?

Elementary and High School is a terrible time. Its nothing like the real world and does little to prepare you in regards to what to expect when dealing with people.

Real life has severe consequences for fucking with people repeatedly. Schools have removed most consequences for just about everything. Terrible combination and partly why they are the shit holes they are. In addition, the victim tends to be punished harshly when they lash out as opposed to the instigator getting little relative punishment for trolling them. Its like having someone walk up behind you every morning as you go into work and trip you repeatedly on your way up the stairs. How many times is that going to happen before that ass hole gets knocked out, fired, or arrested? This stuff just doesn't happen and if it does it certainly doesn't happen for long unless you're still an elementary school kid on the inside and don't take steps to stop it.

Things really don't get representative of the real world until you hit college.

Everyone suggesting some kind of intimidation tactic are seemingly forgetting that Brahma is black, which massively increases the likelihood that, if the school somehow finds out the son was intimidating these boys, it will be interpreted as aggressive angry older black kid instead of big brother defending his younger sister.

Pants_sl said:

Everyone suggesting some kind of intimidation tactic are seemingly forgetting that Brahma is black, which massively increases the likelihood that, if the school somehow finds out the son was intimidating these boys, it will be interpreted as aggressive angry older black kid instead of big brother defending his younger sister.

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This is why we can't have nice things.

Pants_sl said:

Everyone suggesting some kind of intimidation tactic are seemingly forgetting that Brahma is black, which massively increases the likelihood that, if the school somehow finds out the son was intimidating these boys, it will be interpreted as aggressive angry older black kid instead of big brother defending his younger sister.

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I am not forgetting that, I am specifically counting on it(and mentioned it) to keep Lil' Brahma from having to do any kind of overt intimidating.

Brahma_sl said:

Finally got to the school today. They basically could find no one that teased/bullied her. They even suggested that she may have been lying. When they saw the look on my face from that suggestion, they all turned...whiter, and started stumbling over themselves. It was fuckin hilarious. Took all I had to keep that mean black guy face on.

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Plain and simply, there is nothing they can do as far as that incident. The school has assigned her a "buddy of the day" until the end of March. They found a few great kids that volunteered to be with her at all times during non class times..Sweet kids. The teacher and assistant will give me daily updates on how her day went.

I am pretty satisfied they have done all they can to look out for her. Pretty much all I can ask.

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I like your attitude, man. They have likely done everything they can, and the buddy of the day thing is a good thing. Encourage the teachers, because they only want the best for your child. Their hands are largely tied for things of this sort.

But keep on top of it. If bullying persists, the school will shit on whatever little shit is doing it.

Brahma_sl said:

Finally got to the school today. They basically could find no one that teased/bullied her. They even suggested that she may have been lying.

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Equip here with a secret spy cam or some shit and then post the videos to youtube or at least rerolled.

If your son has balls he'll kick their ass without any input from you.

Nah, the kids 13. At that age he still needs to ask, and for good reason seeing as that at that age he still should ask.

Brahma ain't raisin no thug.

If you have a little extra money to burn just send a lawyer down to the school, nothing motivates schools/school districts faster than a potential lawsuit...shit will get dealt with fast and swift. May want to see if any of the local news papers would do a story or have the local news send a camera crew down there so school officials can explain why they are refusing to protect the children they are responsible for.

Drakurii_sl said:

If you have a little extra money to burn just send a lawyer down to the school, nothing motivates schools/school districts faster than a potential lawsuit...shit will get dealt with fast and swift. May want to see if any of the local news papers would do a story or have the local news send a camera crew down there so school officials can explain why they are refusing to protect the children they are responsible for.

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So you're of the opinion a good example and precedent to set for your children is to make a mountain out of a mole hill and not deal with your problems yourself, but instead rely on social pressure and idle legal threats? Sue first, ask later?

I think Brahma handled this the best way possible and the outcome was a good one.

Iannis_sl said:

Nah, the kids 13. At that age he still needs to ask, and for good reason seeing as that at that age he still should ask.

Brahma ain't raisin no thug.

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Ask? Why would any kid ask permission for wrongdoing? I don't disagree with the way Brahma handled it, but if I was the brother I'd take matters into my own hands. And I'm saying that as an adult, as a kid I'd be even more prone to bad decisions. I know because I was in this same situation as a middle schooler.

Tirant_sl said:

Ask? Why would any kid ask permission for wrongdoing? I don't disagree with the way Brahma handled it, but if I was the brother I'd take matters into my own hands. And I'm saying that as an adult, as a kid I'd be even more prone to bad decisions. I know because I was in this same situation as a middle schooler.

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So in other words, you have nothing to contribute

There was a bullying incident at my daughter's school this week. A grade 7 girl was being harassed during lunch by a boy...the girl is heavy, and black. Both were things this boy was making noise about. It went on for about three minutes, according to my daughter, and then the boy started pushing this girl around. At that point about ten girls took their lunch trays and started beating the shit out of the boy. He has bullied almost everyone in the class at least once. They hit him until he was crying on the ground, and then they all sat down very quickly. By the time a teacher got there, the kid was laying on the ground crying, and everyone was ignoring him.

Teacher asks exactly what happened, and someone said "he always lays on the ground crying like a little kid. He can't help it." Teacher lets it go, and tells the boy to get up. End of scene.

I'm not a fan of hitting anyone. I'm not a fan of the tough love for bullies, to be honest. But this kid has preyed on the smallest kids in his class for nearly 3 years. He has been suspended, given detentions, and everything the school can do, they've done. It had no impact. I'm pretty sure that after getting nailed like he did today, he's not going to do it again. If he does, the same thing is going to happen. Until he stops bullying.

I have no idea if my daughter was one of the people hitting him with her lunch tray. I didn't ask after she told me. I am guessing that she told me the story in such graphic detail because she was involved. She knows where we stand on bullying, and where we stand on fighting and hitting, and where we stand on standing up for herself and others. Holy crap, am I glad I don't have to navigate middle school ever again personally.

But it has generated pretty interesting discussion at the dinner table here. Bullying, what does it look like? How can you identify it, and deal with it. Our youngest is tiny, so it seems like he'd be a possible target for it, but he just makes nice with everyone, even those who are being dicks to him.

I really don't think a lot of people here understand what bullying is like or what it leads to.

There was a dirt poor kid at my middle school. Nice quiet kid but not smart just average. He had to work after school at his family's business. Think it was a small tree nursery or something. So quiet kid who stood out because he made bad grades on top of wearing old worn out clothes etc. In 6th he made the mistake of bringing some flowers to school and got to pick two kids to help him make a flower bed during history one day. We weren't friends I was just not a dick to him and helped him with classwork a time or two so he picked me and he was so unpopular I got teased for it. But then I also dive tackled and choked the shit out of a kid in the hallway between classes that year so it was no big deal to me.

Anyways fast forward to mid to late 7th grade. Admin does nothing about the bullying and it gets progressively worse. A bunch of kids walked to school most days including him and some of the worse bullies who walked together. There was a back gate to the school that was kind of secluded and one day they waited for him outside the gate and pushed him around. He tried to defend himself and they broke his arm and put him in the hospital. No one was punished. Admin KNEW who was involved and not a single fucking thing was said or done. He came back to school after two weeks and the SAME SHIT continued. It did stop though. When an "unknown group of kids" waited at that same gate one day and beat the absolute shit out of those worthless motherfuckers. It wasn't a group of friends or a click. Just a kid or two from a bunch of different groups who got together to solve a problem the adults weren't interested in. I really wish "they" had done it sooner.

We also had a huge 5'10 200lb motherfucker transfer in 7th grade. Bullied the shit out of a bunch of kids. He did it at lunch one day and I started talking shit trying to get him to take a swing at me. He wouldn't so he started getting mocked by a bunch of other folks and he started swinging. I locked my hands behind my back and took a dozen or so hits on the chin before a teacher tackled him in front of 1/3rd of the school. Admin started tripping all over themselves at that point. I laughed at the resource officer when he asked if I wanted to press charges which I refused to do. He got expelled and the problem was solved.

You can't expect a child to defend themselves. Chances are they are either outnumbered or noticeably smaller. You can't tell them to ignore it because it will escalate until it's stopped. Admin HAS to be proactive. Some kids are bastards raised by bastards and they will not stop until they hurt someone. For fucks sake I got suspended one time for "fighting" because I got between two kids who knocked someone to the ground and were kicking him while he laid there crying while we were walking to the buses. A teacher was sprinting across the yard towards us and saw me do nothing but stand between them and push them away from him and I still got suspended. You can't defend yourself and you can't defend anyone else without being punished or painting a target on your own back so parents have got to come down like the wrath of God on admin that won't take care of the issue.

wat