Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

This is the first Star Wars movie I'm not going to go see.

I'm someone who was really exicited about The Last Jedi because I really liked The Force Awakens. I also saw Revenge of the Sith twice.

It's all down to The Last Jedi being absolute shite.

Movie was very meh. Not atrocious, not even close to great. I'd give it a 7ish out of 10 maybe. Don't regret seeing it, will never watch it again. 0 quotables. 0 OH SHIT moments. I think they actually tainted Lando a little bit. The only good part of the movie was Lando flipping Han his gun and them blasting away.

Just got back from watching this.

Overall...... Meh.

Not as big of a shit pile as TLJ but not a whole hell of a lot better.

A few random thoughts as well as some questions if anyone has any answers.


- The SJW robot was nauseating. Fuck you and your political agenda. Why does every Star Wars movie need to have some smart ass droid with an attitude?
- The part where Lando ran back to save the droid was almost laugh out loud hilarious. "L3!!!!" "NOOOO!!!" LOL
- The big reveal with "Enfys Nest" (a stupid ass name for a character) taking off her mask. It was almost like they expected the audience to know who the fuck she was. Did I miss something? Who the fuck is she other than a female?
- The Crimson Dawn. Seriously, is that the best they can come up with for a name for some pirate/gangster group? Fucking cheesy Stupid.
- Space octopus was stupid, cliche, and derivative of Phantom Menace.
- Lando actor (Dong Lover?) was Ok.
- Woody Harrelson.... Meh.
- Thandie Newton Character. Can anyone explain to me why she went suicide? This made absolutely no sense to me but mayabe I missed something.
- Emilia Clarke. Fucking damn what a missed opportunity to bring back some new variation of the Slave Leia outfit. Dryden Vos (another cheesy character name) should have had her ass on full display. Lucas was actually right. The underworld should be sleazy and dirty, not this sipping champagne in ballroom gowns shit. God I miss the 80's vs this politically correct shit we get now days.
- Probably the biggest problem I had with this movie was simply the fact that Ehrenreich was just not that believable as Han. Its not that he's a terrible actor. To me its primarily the fact that he just does not look the part or have the mannerisms. Harrison Ford has an iconic look/charm to him. This is also why this movie should have never been made. No one can duplicate/replace Ford.
- The story was mostly boring unoriginal. They played it safe and it showed.
- Probably about the only intriguing thing that happened was Darth Maul showing up at the end. Will be interesting to see where that goes.

Overall this movie will be forgotten quickly and, for the most part, was completely unnecessary.

Xevy said:

Movie was very meh. Not atrocious, not even close to great. I'd give it a 7ish out of 10 maybe. Don't regret seeing it, will never watch it again. 0 quotables. 0 OH SHIT moments. I think they actually tainted Lando a little bit. The only good part of the movie was Lando flipping Han his gun and them blasting away.

Spoiler

The ship being a 'her' thing was.. interesting. SJW robot was kind of annoying, but it's cool having a reason both the guys call the ship "her". Lando goes from 'eh whatever' to 'this is my baby' once L3 dies.

Darth Maul. Lawl. What the fuck are they setting up for?

Thought that was Max Terrik at the beginning in Corellia when the girl steals that boys shit and he says "Hey Max, give it back!" Then I realized her name MIRAX Terrik and that made me sad.

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I think calling ships "her" is a normal naval thing, don't know why they had to explain it.

For the rest of the droid stuff:

Found it to be leagues better then FA and TLJ since the almost complete lack of any force users, which at this point I'll find them only used to ruin a movie or story with their lawful stupid or retarded evil dichotomy. The L3 stuff was pretty ham fisted but didn't last long thankfully. Glover was good and would do well in a Lando standalone. I enjoyed the Maelstrom and wish they would do more forbidden zone type stuff that has things living in it. Was a 7/10 at best.

Still holding out they do well with the Fett movie since bounty hunters in Star Wars still haven't had their due.

Another thought about the L3 droid that made the whole scene with Lando moronic. Don't they have computer backups in this galaxy? Couldn't you just upload L3's memory to the cloud and then whenever the droid gets destroyed, just buy a new droid and then download and re-install everything? Is L3 less sophisticated than my iPhone?

Another thought on the whole direction of the Star Wars movies at this point. A lot of people have mentioned that the problem is too many Star Wars movies or over-saturation. I disagree completely. The problem is simply shit Star Wars movies. No one (or at least very few) people are complaining about too many Marvel movies. That's because, most of them are at least decent if not great.

Blakkheim said:

Another thought about the L3 droid that made the whole scene with Lando moronic. Don't they have computer backups in this galaxy? Couldn't you just upload L3's memory to the cloud and then whenever the droid gets destroyed, just buy a new droid and then download and re-install everything? Is L3 less sophisticated than my iPhone?

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The tech in Star Wars is pretty much set in what Lucas imagined in the 70s. Nothing is backed up, everything seems to exist on giant disks or inside of droids.

Every other droid in peril seems to imply that if they die, it's over for them. Die is a loose term though, and to your point, if they had her nav computer, they probably could have put her back together in a new body, unless her nav computer and brain computer were 2 different things.

I wish prequel directors, of any established series, would stop trying to come in and explain everything we knew about a character's backstory in a single narrative. Especially if it all happens during a single adventure that spans a couple days.

Blakkheim said:

Another thought on the whole direction of the Star Wars movies at this point. A lot of people have mentioned that the problem is too many Star Wars movies or over-saturation. I disagree completely. The problem is simply shit Star Wars movies. No one (or at least very few) people are complaining about too many Marvel movies. That's because, most of them are at least decent if not great.

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the studios will try to make this case to cover for the fact that they've killed the franchise w/ FA TLJ. It's crazy that this is getting any traction at all when their other IP is putting out at least 3 movies a year and is killing it, Marvel.

Chris said:

I think calling ships "her" is a normal naval thing, don't know why they had to explain it.

For the rest of the droid stuff:

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Lando even called the Falcon a she in empire. "She's the fastest hunk of junk in the Galaxy" if I remember correctly.

This movie disappointed me. It wasn't terrible or anything, I'd give it a 6/10 - worth watching once, it's just that after 40 years it kind of destroyed the mythology I had built up about Han in my head. This was not the origin story I envisioned. I'm not a lore nerd and have never read any of the books so admittedly this is personal to my imagination but:

• The Kessel Run was dumb. I always thought it was a race, not some stupid shortcut with a space octopus.
• The SJW robot freeing all the slave robots and bitching about equality was unbelievably dumb. I guess this means I'm old now.
• Han was kind of a pussy. He was the quintessential scoundrel/lady's man growing up, every kid wanted to play Han and be the badass. This version was not that. I don't know who thought it was a great idea to make the character be this way but I can't see how he even remotely becomes what he is in Star Wars.
• Where the fuck was Chewies life debt? Maybe I missed it, but saving him from the pit should have been spelled out a little more why he was tagging along. It better not be the train piece.
• Darth Maul - who cares?
• Thandie Newton's character was irrelevant, she dies, yay?
• As has been pointed out, Enfys Nest reveal was supposed to be shocking because it was a girl of many ethnicities? I don't get it. Are we that racist and misogynist now that it has to be amazing it was cast that way?
• The actor did not scream Han Solo, not even close. He tried but it just fell flat for me. This is probably the side effect of seeing Harrison Ford my entire life portray that character so much that it's impossible to separate the two. Even 70 year old Han was better than this guy.
• Winning the Falcon was at least okay. It made sense to me that Lando cheated and Han had to thwart that to win it.

At least Han shot first in this one. Fuck Lucas for ever changing that anyway.

The movie sucks. It’s just a repackaging of your youth and we all want to rationalize as It wasn’t that bad. Yes it was. It’s so fucking bad they needed acting coaches on set.

But fucking with the lore is the worst. I get you cartoon kids love seeing the crossover but it shits on everything Star Wars was about. There are TWO and only TWO fucking force users in the Galaxy. Even the Imperials doubt Vader’s magic. Han recounts the Jedi as nothing more than a myth. The entire premise of the original film is there is a secret new force user and some ancient fuck who was forced to hide in the tiniest corner of the Galaxy will train him.

But yeah let’s throw Darth Maul in and have him with his lightsaber and all right in plain sight. Just cause. But..bu..but the cartoons.. Fuck your cartoons.

They turned Star Wars into a universe where you can weaponize hyper-drives to kill anything, you can use the force to Mary Poppins through space, and you can cut people in half and they live.

Thanks Kathy Kennedy. You're doing a bang up job.

I'm confused why so many of you paid to see it.

You could have seen Deadpool 2 or Avengers 3 again.

After Solo VII: Revenge of the Hutt

Well this movie wasn’t as bad as I expected. It was fast paced and the action was good. I was surprised that Chewy and Han had always been Secret pan-sexual lovers but whatever it’s todays climate. It was really awesome when Obi-Wan showed up and saved them with his mechanical arm. We haven’t seen that since Disney Jr, “Secrets of the Clone Wars”. 7/10

Chris said:

I'm confused why so many of you paid to see it.

You could have seen Deadpool 2 or Avengers 3 again.

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Because not everyone lives in a world of internet hyperbole.