Star Wars general purpose movie stuff
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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The same Mandalore that was barely habitable before the Empire turned what was left of it to glass?
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Wombat
Trakanon Raider
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Uhh, neither Patty Jenkins nor Taika Waititi's movies have casting, scripts, or are really in production, right? No movies until 2025 isn't necessarily a policy change, that sounds more like simple math on how far along they are now. (I guess 2024 is still vaguely plausible, depending on how far along they are.)
IIRC, those Disney multi-year release calendars had Avatar and Star Wars swapping Christmas releases for the rest of the decade - I imagine those November-ish movies will just be a Christmas slot every year now (until / if Marvel movies continue to fizzle).
jayrebb
Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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No policy change since Iger called the hiatus a few years ago before the release of RoS. The Disney+ pivot was policy under the previous CEO.
Mist
REEEEeyore
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So I finally watched TLJ.
Great art direction. What a fantastic looking movie.
Would have been a good movie too if they'd have just deleted every fucking scene with Rose including the entire pointless Canto Bight subplot. That would have left 15+ more minutes to spend with Rey and Luke, which was needed.
Some of the dialogue was actually really good. Unfortunately, a few bits were really fucking bad. Looking at the Rose scenes again in particular.
Seriously who made the call to introduce a whole other stupid planet in the middle of what is essentially a long chase scene?
Anyway, the Rey/Kylo stuff was good, the Rey/Luke stuff was good, the Luke/Leia moments were perfect. Definitely some eyerolly bits and oh yeah fuck Rose what a dumb fucking character with dumb fucking dialogue. Beautiful movie though.
Great art direction. What a fantastic looking movie.
Would have been a good movie too if they'd have just deleted every fucking scene with Rose including the entire pointless Canto Bight subplot. That would have left 15+ more minutes to spend with Rey and Luke, which was needed.
Some of the dialogue was actually really good. Unfortunately, a few bits were really fucking bad. Looking at the Rose scenes again in particular.
Seriously who made the call to introduce a whole other stupid planet in the middle of what is essentially a long chase scene?
Anyway, the Rey/Kylo stuff was good, the Rey/Luke stuff was good, the Luke/Leia moments were perfect. Definitely some eyerolly bits and oh yeah fuck Rose what a dumb fucking character with dumb fucking dialogue. Beautiful movie though.
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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the space visuals were the best part of the film. i cant take that away from the movie, but my god, how can you give a pass to all the Admiral Holdo scenes and Leia flying through space like Mary Poppins? or depicting Luke as a massive piece of shit loser?
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Mist
REEEEeyore
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The Holdo scenes are all misdirection. You're supposed to think she's an obstacle that Poe has to overcome rather than a lesson he has to learn.
The flying Leia stuff was dumb but given what they had to work with, finding a reason why she's out of commission for most of the movie, it was fine. The force is capable of weird shit, if all the force can do is make rocks float, what's the point of it? I'm pretty sure Luke said that.
All the reasons Luke was hiding out are valid; Yoda was also in hiding. Unlike Yoda, Luke at least enters the fray and redeems himself at the end.
The movie tries too hard to "subvert your expectations!1!1!!23213!" and it gets a little old after the 10th time it does it, but that's better than Ep7 where absolutely no expectations are subverted.
Movie is still bad though because Rose fucking sucks lol.
jayrebb
Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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Rian Johnson already had a Sci-fi movie screenplay done that he had fit to his Star Wars script.
He was making a new sci-fi movie either way. Whether that was going to be Star Wars or not was up to Lucas Film. They said yes-- and he made his sci-fi movie he wanted to make.
You got some good visuals as a result.
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Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Not a valid comparison at all, TLJ was an intentional character assassination of Luke.
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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was Yoda saying the jedi are shit, did he try to kill his nephew? was Yoda living like a hobo drinking green shit juice? if they could have shown Luke sucking dick for a bump of coke, they would have. its a massive difference. Yoda did the best he could to fight the emperor and stop Vader, but he was just too small to do it and he had to hide due to Order 66.. Luke was the master, he beat Palpy, he beat Vader and crippled the Empire . he had nothing to hide from. he was a legend, the hero of the fucking galaxy. it should have been him as the focal point of the sequels and his training of Rey which led to his death at some point like Obi Wan. Rey should also not been the best at everything. she was even better at flying Han's ship than he was the first time she tried. its unbelievable how badly they fucked everything up. Rose's stupid subplot was just the icing on the shit cake. it was just a sidequest that meant nothing. the stuff that counted like Luke, Leia and Han's story was the absolute most important thing.
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Mist
REEEEeyore
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I think the issue is that we're just told that Luke failed as a master/teacher. We're not shown how he failed.
Right, and he dedicated the next few decades of his life to trying to rebuild the jedi order, and then he failed on his first attempt. We're not shown why/how he failed.
If they had cut out the completely stupid waste of time Rose/Canto shit, they could have given us flashbacks actually showing why/how Luke failed in his training of Ben/Kylo. It's at least plausible to me that he would not be a great teacher nor up to the task of single-handedly trying to jumpstart a new jedi order, having no experience of what the jedi order was at it's height. Not every subject matter expert is a good teacher, and he's not really even an expert. He's just a guy, who defeated the emperor, because at the last minute his dad felt bad that he was getting zapped. Most heroes aren't the people you want them to be, and as an extended "never meet your heroes" metaphor, the plot and dialogue does work. You're also being way too forgiving to Yoda, Yoda could have joined up with the rebellion, beating Luke with a stick is not very Jedi, etc. The parallels work, Luke arrives on Dagobah and Yoda is not what he, or the audience, expects him to be, so they tried to recreate that same dynamic in the sequel and just about nailed it.
Movie is 80% good, 20% absolute dogshit, and like 15% of that dogshit is all the time wasted on the completely pointless Rose/Canto/Codebreaker "sidequest", and like 5% the normal stupid Star Wars shit of inserting things just to sell toys. You can try to make a serious movie about serious things or you can have squealing porgs and goofy robots, you can't do both.
What's really wrong with the sequel trilogy is that all the Macro-level shit is wrong. None of the politics or worldbuilding make any god damn sense. Who are the First Order? Why did the Republic collapse? Who the fuck is Snoke? How did the Republic end up being basically just the rebels again? Why are the rebels/resistance always so bad at strategy?
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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One of Luke's defining characteristics in the OT is his unshakable faith that his horrific monster of a father can be redeemed from the dark side. Things go a bit sideways with his nephew and he fucks off to hide in some random ass crevice of the galaxy and gives up?
No.
No.
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Mist
REEEEeyore
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It's not "random." It's where the original, foundational texts of the jedi religion are stored, which would make sense as all of the archives were destroyed. I get the impression he went there thinking he was going to learn some deeper truth about the force from the texts, maybe something about his failures as a teacher, and ultimately found no answers in them. Yoda even says "Page-turners they were not" as if to say they didn't hold a lot of deeper value. This is all stuff they could have fixed with like 5-10 more minutes of dialogue, either between Luke and Rey or another earlier scene between Luke and Yoda, or more flashback, or something. A little bit more development would have made Luke a lot more sympathetic.
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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The whole fucking point is that they weren't trying to make Luke sympathetic, they were trying to destroy him.
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joz123
Potato del Grande
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Mist
REEEEeyore
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Yeah that's why they gave Luke the entire climax of the movie; that makes sense in some kind of angry internet retard logic, I'm sure. Your point would have merit if Luke dies before Rey leaves, or if Rey just takes off after being disappointed in what she found in Luke and he doesn't appear in the rest of the movie, but they actually give Luke the climactic showdown on that salt planet, and had him outsmart Kylo in a manner that demonstrates the blindness of his rage and allows the rebels to escape.
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Chris
Potato del Grande
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You mean the bit where they literally had a death scene filmed for a character whose actress had died between principal photography and reshoots with theatrical release being a full year later?
And rather than use that year and the reshoots to make the fakeout death scene into a real one, which was easy because she didn't didn't do much at the end of the movie, they just did nothing and left it up to the next director to use creepy unused footage?
Yeah, no. They don't get a free pass for that and you can't say it's shitty because the actress was dead, because she was alive for filming.
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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lol, Luke didnt get the climax of anything, he faked out Kylo so he would throw a tantrum, to buy time for Rey to actually save the day. he wasnt even there, he literally phoned in that scene. then he immediately dies and his body poofs. he has no redemption arc because he never got to actually do anything. his whole ending moment which you think was the climax was him going I TROLL YOU!. you cant get any more angry internet retard than that. your besty, Rose and Finn had a more impactful scene at the "climax" than Luke did.