I think we can probably go without spoiler tags at this point. That sound good? Kind of pointless, nobody should be reading this thread if they don't want it spoiled.
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Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)
- Thread starter Miguex
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Chris
Potato del Grande
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Great, now I can break out all of the spoilers!
Rey's parents are... oh...
Snoke is... wait he's dead... we'll never know...
Luke left a map to emo island because... no reason...
Phasma finally gets to.... oh BB8 killed her...
Max von Sydow was... never mentioned again...
Knights of Ren are... never mentioned again...
JK Rowling was able to build a franchise as an unemployed single mother in a coffee shop with scraps of paper! Tolkien was in a WW1 trench during fucking WW1! Kevin Feige only had the third rate superheroes left and Thor 3 is nerd culture movie of the year. Come on guys...
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Daezuel
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Royal
Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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Luke didn't leave a map to Ahch-To. It was known that he went to find the first jedi temple. Lor San Tekka (Max Von Sydow's character) was an old explorer, student of the history of the jedi, and a member of the Church of the Force. As part of his studies he uncovered a map showing the location of the first temple. Being a long-time friend of the Organa family he reached out to Leia to offer it to her when he learned she was looking for Luke (who hadn't been heard from for several years by that point). They pretty much tell you this in the TFA opening crawl (though in a much more abbreviated form).
And there isn't really much need to mention San Tekka further. As a character he did what was needed by handing off the map and was killed shortly afterwards. He's not important to the story beyond that.
Chris
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Royal
Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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I added it in the edit as you replied. It's in the opening crawl in very broad strokes.
sukik
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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He has the rest of the map so he has a reason to be in the movie and deliver those nostalgia feels.
Royal
Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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I guess we're gonna end up going over the whole TFA map discussion again. Yes it has some holes in it.
R2 has a map of the whole galaxy in his memory system (which supposedly had some planets and systems the Empire exclusively had known about. He got that information when he tapped into the Death Star central computer in ANH. No that's not in any movie). The location of Ahch-To is uncharted or at least not on the old Republic or Imperial maps. They shouldn't have needed R2's map once they had the one from San Tekka. It was large enough that they should have been able to match it's location to any standard galactic map.
R2 has a map of the whole galaxy in his memory system (which supposedly had some planets and systems the Empire exclusively had known about. He got that information when he tapped into the Death Star central computer in ANH. No that's not in any movie). The location of Ahch-To is uncharted or at least not on the old Republic or Imperial maps. They shouldn't have needed R2's map once they had the one from San Tekka. It was large enough that they should have been able to match it's location to any standard galactic map.
Chris
Potato del Grande
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I suppose Luke gathered the map himself to find it? Also why did R2D2 wake up at the end of Force Awakens?
Cleary it's been written like LOST and they had no idea where it was going.
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"Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son" /outstretchedhand
I'm reaching but is it unreasonable to think Luke picked up some positive emotion from him in that moment?
Admittedly both Vader and The Emperor wanted to use Luke to replace the other, but that offer to Luke still involved replacing his master. Could that be considered good even if the plan was to continue to rule?
Royal
Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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I don't think they've ever said exactly how Luke found it. San Tekka did help Luke many years before when Luke was looking for old jedi sites and lore as he prepared to rebuild the order but he himself didn't learn of it's location until after Luke had gone off on his own.
The explanation for R2 being powered down was tied to the fact that R2's memory had never been wiped (which is a call back to Lucas's original take on the Skywalker saga being an account entered into the Journal of the Whills from information obtained from R2. He was the only one who really knew the whole story). He had gone into a powered down mode to search his memory systems for anything that might give any sort of clue where Luke could be but he had so much data in his systems it took a long time. No it doesn't make a whole lot of sense for it to have taken that long.
kegkilla
The Big Mod
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this is just too perfect. this piece of shit is exactly the movie you fanboy nerds deserve for bending over, spreading your assholes wide open and begging big daddy Disney for more and more after the last abortion of a movie. Episode 7 was Disney getting a feel for how much abuse the pathetic Star Wars fanbase is willing to take and the response was, "PUNISH ME DADDY!" well, you got your wish! Episode 8 is a full on rape of established Star Wars lore and characters, basic logic and general storytelling. congratulations, you all just paid $15 to be lectured of the morality of alien giraffe racing by the same group of people who feel compelled to sexually assault every skank they can get their hands on. I rate this movie 10/10, I couldn't do a better job of shitting all over Star Wars if I tried. looking forward to the exciting Episode 9 reveal of which new minority will be hamfisted into a god awful plotline, hoping for aborigines personally.
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Chris
Potato del Grande
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You... feeling OK?
That's some potent homoerotic sexual imagery you are dreaming up here.
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Furry
🌭🍔🇺🇦✌️SLAVA UKRAINI!✌️🇺🇦🍔🌭
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Man babies crying in this thread havre opened my mind . What if rian Johnson has just been surrounded by tanoombas all his life? No wonder he'd make a movie where every male is completely retarded and ineffectual. Just thinking that this might be a bunch of tanoombas coming to life with a few pedo kegkillas sprinkled in helps Me understand what this movie is. No wonder it fell short for me and seems to get a pass from the millennials I know.
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Dr Neir
Trakanon Raider
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Rose colored glasses.
While Hamill can be good in acting/voice but character Luke is a shitty Jedi compared to his father or nephew and any other person.
IV
-ass handed to him by a combat remote
-needs Han to rescue him from father
-starts to focus with deathstar kill shot
(dont forget selfish reason was to find Leia)
V
-gets bitchslapped by wapa
-shot down by AT-AT
-trains forever in jungle to lifts some rocks
-smacked around and hand slapped by father
-sister rescues him from father
(dont forget left rebels at time of need for training, gets conscience from visions)
VI
-about gets eaten by rancor
-hand shot
-loses sister in jungle
-needs rescue from teddybears by C3PO
-surrenders to help father
-zapped till father rescues him
-burns father
(dont forget, left rebels when needed most to shutdown shield to help father)
Other than his deathstar luck shot and rumors of days in his T-16 with womp-rats he doesnt carry his fathers flight skills nor effective force powers beyond mine tricks, weak rock throwing and a laser sword. This movie has by far shown what other jedi have accomplished in short time has taken Luke a lifetime to achieve.
Luke was given a short end of the stick on force power but this movie more than made up for his lack in skills.
Much needed but shows how weak/untrained he was. Could say its lack of training but I dont believe that is the case. Time from V jungle training till VI jabba room should have been enough time to do better than rock throwing with rancor.
Its almost like if you are raised as a slave or having to grow up quickly you will become a stronger Jedi.
Could say the Lars family did more damage to the Skywalker family than Sidious ever could. Didnt bother finding Luke's grandmother (dies from Sand ppl) fucks up Luke's father, raises Luke without Obi Wans help (screws Luke from training), Luke's lack of training fucks up Ben Solo.
While Hamill can be good in acting/voice but character Luke is a shitty Jedi compared to his father or nephew and any other person.
IV
-ass handed to him by a combat remote
-needs Han to rescue him from father
-starts to focus with deathstar kill shot
(dont forget selfish reason was to find Leia)
V
-gets bitchslapped by wapa
-shot down by AT-AT
-trains forever in jungle to lifts some rocks
-smacked around and hand slapped by father
-sister rescues him from father
(dont forget left rebels at time of need for training, gets conscience from visions)
VI
-about gets eaten by rancor
-hand shot
-loses sister in jungle
-needs rescue from teddybears by C3PO
-surrenders to help father
-zapped till father rescues him
-burns father
(dont forget, left rebels when needed most to shutdown shield to help father)
Other than his deathstar luck shot and rumors of days in his T-16 with womp-rats he doesnt carry his fathers flight skills nor effective force powers beyond mine tricks, weak rock throwing and a laser sword. This movie has by far shown what other jedi have accomplished in short time has taken Luke a lifetime to achieve.
Luke was given a short end of the stick on force power but this movie more than made up for his lack in skills.
Much needed but shows how weak/untrained he was. Could say its lack of training but I dont believe that is the case. Time from V jungle training till VI jabba room should have been enough time to do better than rock throwing with rancor.
Its almost like if you are raised as a slave or having to grow up quickly you will become a stronger Jedi.
Could say the Lars family did more damage to the Skywalker family than Sidious ever could. Didnt bother finding Luke's grandmother (dies from Sand ppl) fucks up Luke's father, raises Luke without Obi Wans help (screws Luke from training), Luke's lack of training fucks up Ben Solo.
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a c i d.f l y
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God was no one paying attention by the end of the movie?
Yoda says, "She already possesses everything she needs," before blowing up the tree because Rey TOOK THE BOOKS AND PUT THEM IN A DRAWER ON THE FALCON.
But that was just another pointless misdirect for ... I guess, reasons. To convince Luke to let go?
But that was just another pointless misdirect for ... I guess, reasons. To convince Luke to let go?