Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

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Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Kinda sad that Keg's last post ever was wasted on this festering shitpile of a movie.
 
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Caliane

Avatar of War Slayer
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I know I'm late to the party, and I'm sitting here at 1/2 of the way through the movie now that a non-shitty cam torrent came out, but so far not only is this an absolutely terribad Star Wars, it's simply a shitty movie, period. I'll write more once I can manage to finish it without vacillating between cringing and being bored, but basically this movie feels like a bad version of Guardians of the Galaxy that tries to take itself seriously. So far it's juvenile, phony, and tryhard-- it feels like more of a hodge-podge of random Star Wars moments from previous movies, crammed together in some nonsensical fashion to try and pay homage, then bolted together with useless cutesy cut scenes to sell Disney merchandise.

I mean just so far:
- The Leia "resurrection" scene. WTF is that garbage?? I literally guffawed. Why bother blowing up the deck and kill her at all? I'm hoping they explain this shit..
.
To kill off everyone else, with zero emotional resonance. Admiral fucking Ackbar died in that scene for fucks sake.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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To kill off everyone else, with zero emotional resonance. Admiral fucking Ackbar died in that scene for fucks sake.

Yeah, that too.

Any hope for redemption this movie may have had in my eyes was destroyed when they decided to treat Luke's storyline like an HIV infected used condom to be disposed of.

It's obvious the geniuses behind this movie said "Han and Luke, we've got to trot your sorry old white male asses out for a nod at nostalgia, but don't forget this is about a New Generation, so don't get any ideas about stealing the spotlight from team Girl Power. Han, you're going to be the washed up old brigand that going to get cowardly off'd by his own son. Akbar, you're not a White Male, but an old guard nonetheless, so we'll just blow you out of the bridge into space, ok? Luke, you're going to play the self-loathing curmudgeon that finds some inner redemption by sacrificing his life playing decoy by casting mirror image".

I honestly find this entire "new series", and its desire to invoke original series characters only to portray them as failures or sacrificial lambs disgusting. I think the scene at the end where Leia and vice admiral blue hair have their girl power self-congratulatory moment made me vomit a bit in my mouth.

Were there any chicks in this movie that weren't the epitome of calm, rational, maturity while the guys all looked like moronic emotionally driven hot heads?

3/10

I think this movie has officially made me a bitter old man. With Star Wars and Star Trek now fully hijacked by the ritalin driven duhvirsity team, childhood now fully cratered.
 
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Furry

🌭🍔🇺🇦✌️SLAVA UKRAINI!✌️🇺🇦🍔🌭
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soyboy.jpg
 
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Seananigans

Honorary Shit-PhD
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What the fuck man. Catching up on Rebels, and at the end of Season 3 Mon Mothma refuses to help them out when Thrawn ambushes them, resulting in massive casualties to rebel forces. Then in Rogue One she refuses to support the mission to Scarif, so if it wasn't for a mass act of barratry the Rebellion never would have gotten the Death Star plans. Then between Ep 6 and 7, she leads an initiative to disarm the New Republic, resulting in them being unable to stop The First Order from coming into power and the senate being destroyed by Starkiller Base.

How did that retarded bitch keep getting put in charge?

Space Angela Merkel? Space leftism is a hell of a drug. Who knows.
 
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Seananigans

Honorary Shit-PhD
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I know I'm late to the party, (...)

- Is that a nine year old girl flying that X-Wing? Can she keep her head erect with that helmet on?
(...)

Everyone knows all you have to do is shout some stupid cringey phrase and your neck is suddenly strong enough. I don't know something like... "NOW THIS IS POD RACING!"

I'm just spit-balling here, it could be anything, really.
 
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Royal

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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What the fuck man. Catching up on Rebels, and at the end of Season 3 Mon Mothma refuses to help them out when Thrawn ambushes them, resulting in massive casualties to rebel forces. Then in Rogue One she refuses to support the mission to Scarif, so if it wasn't for a mass act of barratry the Rebellion never would have gotten the Death Star plans. Then between Ep 6 and 7, she leads an initiative to disarm the New Republic, resulting in them being unable to stop The First Order from coming into power and the senate being destroyed by Starkiller Base.

How did that retarded bitch keep getting put in charge?

At the point in time when Thrawn attacked Atollon Mon Mothma was still trying to stitch the Rebel Alliance together. She wasn't an elected leader so she had no real authority over those cells and systems she was still trying to coax into a more unified, large scale effort. She didn't want to bring the full scope of the Alliance to the Empire's attention before it was the point to it could survive an Imperial focus. So letting one cell fend for itself and risk loosing it was a price she had to be willing to pay.

The mission to Scarif was a special circumstance though. Word of the Death Star and what it was capable of had many of the systems in the Alliance ready to call it quits. And they were balking at the notion of attacking a major Imperial military installation. Many would have likely left if she just ignored that and committed Rebellion forces to the effort anyway. She personally wanted to support the mission though. When she got word that Admiral Raddus took his ships along with a chunk of the Rebel fleet and went of his own accord, she smiled.

But it's hard to argue that the disarmament of the Republic after the war wasn't a mistake, at least to the extent to which it was done. It was an over correction to Palpatine's abuses as Chancellor.
 
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Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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At the point in time when Thrawn attacked Atollon Mon Mothma was still trying to stitch the Rebel Alliance together. She wasn't an elected leader so she had no real authority over those cells and systems she was still trying to coax into a more unified, large scale effort. She didn't want to bring the full scope of the Alliance to the Empire's attention before it was the point to it could survive an Imperial focus. So letting one cell fend for itself and risk loosing it was a price she had to be willing to pay.

The mission to Scarif was a special circumstance though. Word of the Death Star and what it was capable of had many of the systems in the Alliance ready to call it quits. And they were balking at the notion of attacking a major Imperial military installation. Many would have likely left if she just ignored that and committed Rebellion forces to the effort anyway. She personally wanted to support the mission though. When she got word that Admiral Raddus took his ships along with a chunk of the Rebel fleet and went of his own accord, she smiled.

But it's hard to argue that the disarmament of the Republic after the war wasn't a mistake, at least to the extent to which it was done. It was an over correction to Palpatine's abuses as Chancellor.

Jesus Christ there's literally nothing about Star Wars you won't defend.
 
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Dashel

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So here is my tinfoil hat question: Did it come down from Disney/Lucas/Whoever that they needed to make Rey a badass who doesn't need anyone's help. Period.

I mean I am just wondering if that was something explicitly said to the directors and had a lot to do with these creative differences.

"So in this scene Luke and Yoda are training Rey..."
"No. She doesn't need anyone's help. This character should not seek approval from men. She has everything she needs already. She's a junk farmer. You have to be tough and know how to fight and fix things to survive."

They laid the groundwork for this in TFA when Finn is trying to help and grabs her hand to run away. She calls it out twice I think. I feel more and more that this one point is what's fucking up the entire film. It boxes them into a corner and makes treating Luke as a complete coward almost inevitable.
 
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Royal

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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Jesus Christ there's literally nothing about Star Wars you won't defend.

Maybe if you didn't ignore dialog or things clearly shown in scenes from the movie or show just so you can bitch about something. Like how you ignored me agreeing with you on your last point there just so you could bitch about me defending Star Wars.
 
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Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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52,284
Maybe if you didn't doesn't ignore dialog or things clearly shown in scenes from the movie or show just so you can bitch about something. Like how you ignored me agreeing with you on your last point there just so you could bitch about me defending Star Wars.

I mean I also disagree with your reasoning as to why those weren't bad decisions, but i didn't feel like getting into that argument.

The one attack that she actually does agree to, the attack on Lothal, was also a stupid fucking decision and she should have told Hera to go pound sand down a womp rat hole
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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So here is my tinfoil hat question: Did it come down from Disney/Lucas/Whoever that they needed to make Rey a badass who doesn't need anyone's help. Period.

I mean I am just wondering if that was something explicitly said to the directors and had a lot to do with these creative differences.

"So in this scene Luke and Yoda are training Rey..."
"No. She doesn't need anyone's help. This character should not seek approval from men. She has everything she needs already. She's a junk farmer. You have to be tough and know how to fight and fix things to survive."

They laid the groundwork for this in TFA when Finn is trying to help and grabs her hand to run away. She calls it out twice I think. I feel more and more that this one point is what's fucking up the entire film. It boxes them into a corner and makes treating Luke as a complete coward almost inevitable.

My assumption is that we were supposed to infer that the Luke/Rey training occurred off scene, as there were a few scenes where Luke beckons her to come train. Of course it was rushed, hamfisted, and like most of the movie important storylines-- or anything to actually flesh out the story so it didn't feel like a rushed nonsensical mess of scene--, was dumped in favor of empty one liners and scenes that solely existed to demonstrate CGI or cutesy merchandise. Like the entire fucking Yoda scene was just random out of nowhere garbage that was a total waste.
 

Caliane

Avatar of War Slayer
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Rian and George are genius's. Didn't you guys see the hints at the hyperbolic time chamber, hidden in Luke's hut?
Obviously, the second the cameras were off Rey, she jumped into the chamber, and actually trained for 20 years inside, while 2 hours passed outside. It was also at 20x gravity. The blue milk was there to restore vitamins afterwards. Duh.

 

Lanx

<Prior Amod>
65,225
147,057
My assumption is that we were supposed to infer that the Luke/Rey training occurred off scene, as there were a few scenes where Luke beckons her to come train. Of course it was rushed, hamfisted, and like most of the movie important storylines-- or anything to actually flesh out the story so it didn't feel like a rushed nonsensical mess of scene--, was dumped in favor of empty one liners and scenes that solely existed to demonstrate CGI or cutesy merchandise. Like the entire fucking Yoda scene was just random out of nowhere garbage that was a total waste.
this is all too convoluted and asks too much of the viewer, in contrast w/ eps5 all you ever see Luke do is get pwn'd by dad in a duel and uses a hail mary, "LEIA!!!", then in eps6 you see him force chokin bitches and mind fuckin em, and someone overclocked his confidence to 11, yea the audience can assume he went through some intense training


TLJ Rey on the other hand, looks like Rey from TFA
 
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Siliconemelons

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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Lets review TLJ and what it did for our characters and setups

Snoke: No one, who cares - built and grew the First Order from the ashes of the empire to even greater heights - corrupted Kylo and turned him on his own bloodline - most powerful dark force user on screen - psha, killed done- ez mode..."bad guys r dumb and ignorant" achieved! Character growth = 0

Kylo: Same QQ angtsy teen as before - had a moment of clarity and Rey destroyed it...

Rey: Same mary jane - declined offer to destroy the first order and restart the rebellion because, Kylo may kill the >10 dudes that made it out...QQ

Poe: He can still do anything in a X-Wing - no reason, no hint at force, or anything - its just Poe, he does that...mmkay

Finn: Still cant settle the fuk down, still holds no real allegiance to anything or anyone but Rey, because, reasons. Still fly by your seats lets GTFO of here.

C3PO - Had an entire backstroy and character development all based off of "the red arm"

yes, C3PO and his red arm got more plot, story, emotional meaning and character development than everyone in an entire movie.
 

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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Can someone explain to me how this got 90% positive consensus amongst reviewers? I mean, it's just objectively bad. Even if you somehow like the story, it's just badly scripted, acted, and directed. It's just fucking cringeworthy throughout. Are reviewers now just 100% paid off, or are we just totally out of touch with things?
 
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Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
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52,284
this is all too convoluted and asks too much of the viewer, in contrast w/ eps5 all you ever see Luke do is get pwn'd by dad in a duel and uses a hail mary, "LEIA!!!", then in eps6 you see him force chokin bitches and mind fuckin em, and someone overclocked his confidence to 11, yea the audience can assume he went through some intense training

TLJ Rey on the other hand, looks like Rey from TFA

Not to mention it's literally impossible because all of the events of Ep 7 and Ep 8 take place within a single week or thereabouts.
 
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