Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

i was guessing they'd run out of their 18 hours of fuel and would state "welp only 3 weeks of food left"

the only redeeming quality this movie has is that i hope to get out of hell earlier, because i've suffered it while alive

Royal probably wants us to support star wars so he can keep collecting lightsaber dildos.

There's loving your starwars, and then being in love with star wars.

spronk said:

women are rad
minorities are rad
men are dumb
reverse all Star Wars tropes

== 90% RT

The next star trek movie, to achieve 90%+ RT, has a simple formula: make the new Captain Kirkette a black woman, make the enemy an all male race who decide to transition to female at the end to explore the other side of their sexuality, and make it a dark and grim story about how Space Hitler is defeated by constantly getting punched in the face by the crew of the Enterprise who don't use phasers, they use SWORDS. Bam, completely tossing out all star trek tropes, 90% on RT.

Click to expand...

You're basically describing Star Trek Discovery bro.

Royal said:

The requirements of the conspiracy angle is really all you need to consider to discount any sort of broad payout scheme. To make it effective enough to get any sort of significant bump in the various critic's score measurements it would have to involve dozens if not a couple of hundred critics. All it would take is for one or two to be incensed at trying to be bought off to expose the whole thing. And what would that do to Disney's reputation? Not to mention the reputations of the critics or the publications/sites they work for. Disney might be able to recover but the individual critics themselves would be done. Would anyone accept a payout knowing it could end their career? Or maybe Disney having their own little Gitmo down in the basement of Sleeping Beauty's Castle to stash those who refuse is part of the scheme.

And that doesn't address why Disney is supposedly the only studio capable of pulling this off. All of the major studios are just as big or are part of conglomerates that are just as rich and influential as Disney. Do they not want good reviews of their big budget movies to? Why would so many studios play games with media embargo dates if they could just send out some intern with unmarked envelops to grease the wheels for a high RT score? Do movie reviewers not fear having access to their advanced screenings revoked?

And you would think that if Disney did have a bunch of critics on the payroll they'd have reminded them of it when they got all uppity not too long ago:

Critics Groups Won't Consider Disney Films for Awards Until L.A. Times Ban Lifted

Click to expand...

At a certain point the issue does become how can you be so obtuse regarding the review situation when the exact same situation as you are now strawmanning possible conspiracy theories for happened just a few fucking years ago with the entire fucking video game industry and the reasoning for the good reviews has already been presented, in the GG thread and a few times already in here. The payout is continued early access for reviewers to the entire Marvel and Star Wars universe franchise movies.

Why does only Disney have the clout to pull this off? Why does Disney have the clout to force theaters to show it's movies on more prime screen for a longer period of time than any other studio? Because Disney has Star Wars and Marvel, there, super easy answer to that redundancy. Perhaps there's some kind of reasoning for it all hidden in the Threek wars where Mon Mothma forced the Rebel Alliance to give good reviews to her sneak attack plan in order for it to be successfully executed against Admiral Rondo or some other incredibly fucking stupid EU reasoning that seems to be the only way anything in this new trilogy makes even the tiniest amount of sense.

Critics caring about their reputations, get fucking real. Their reputations are tied wholeheartedly to the Star Wars franchise at this point so there's no reason for them to not go whole hog into welding themselves to their cause. We watched an entire industry die on the hill of defending themselves writing fake reviews but for some reason movie critics are different?