Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

*checks thread for news*

*registers disgust*

*puts on kegkilla mask and plots next series of attacks on TLJ thread*

spronk said:

Snoke and Mirrors – Motion capture and Star Wars collide as the filmmakers take us through the detailed process of creating the movie’s malevolent master villain

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This might be the dumbest shit I've seen.

What the fuck is the point of doing a deep dive into Snoke when he was unceremoniously shit on and discarded without ANY exploration of his character?

Calling him "the movie's malevolent master villain" only reinforces what a poor choice Johnson made in offing him and leaving Hux/Emo as the only major antagonists in the movies.

Hux was eviscerated in TLJ. He's done. Emo is barely hanging on by a thread, enough so that JJ can definitely "bring him back" so to speak to the TFA storyline version Emo (one who is a lot more complicated and taken a lot more serious as a character) and restore him to his full function. Hux, no dice.

I think we are owed an explanation of why Hux is not a silver-screen antagonist. He's become a fanfic Vimeo subscription channel video kickstarter funded antagonist-- per Rian Johnson's "vision". Why are we getting an explanation on Snoke's destruction when Hux was far more prominent with far more face time and character building in TFA?

How about Smallman Johnson puts that on the DVD?

Best review so far. This guy sums up every feeling I had.

Trying to think of how this could be salvaged.

1. The first order largely takes over, which causes resentment and gets the rebellion new recruits.

2. Turns out the resistance wasn't totally dumb; after the treaty was signed, they played politics and got some covert supporters in charge of dismantling the military to "misplace" a few ships. OH DAMN WE GOT X-WINGS, A-WINGS, B-WINGS, AND Y-WINGS BACK IN THIS BITCH ALONG WITH A MON CAL STAR CRUISER JUST HANGING AROUND THIS BACKWATER SHIPYARD EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT.

3. Don't give a shit whether Kylo Ren lives or dies. The war rages on. Maybe at the end show an Imperial officer giving a report that they just got word Supreme Leader Snoke has died. A figure turns his chair around and IT'S GRAND ADMIRAL FUCKING THRAWN! "I see. Thank you for your report, commander. Invite all the captains and their executive officers to the flagship for dinner tonight. We will be moving forward sooner with our plans than anticipated." "Yes, Grand Admiral."

Wait, no. Don't put Thrawn anywhere near the movies. They will just screw him up.

Urlithani said:

Trying to think of how this could be salvaged.

1. The first order largely takes over, which causes resentment and gets the rebellion new recruits.

2. Turns out the resistance wasn't totally dumb; after the treaty was signed, they played politics and got some covert supporters in charge of dismantling the military to "misplace" a few ships. OH DAMN WE GOT X-WINGS, A-WINGS, B-WINGS, AND Y-WINGS BACK IN THIS BITCH ALONG WITH A MON CAL STAR CRUISER JUST HANGING AROUND THIS BACKWATER SHIPYARD EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT.

3. Don't give a shit whether Kylo Ren lives or dies. The war rages on. Maybe at the end show an Imperial officer giving a report that they just got word Supreme Leader Snoke has died. A figure turns his chair around and IT'S GRAND ADMIRAL FUCKING THRAWN! "I see. Thank you for your report, commander. Invite all the captains and their executive officers to the flagship for dinner tonight. We will be moving forward sooner with our plans than anticipated." "Yes, Grand Admiral."

Wait, no. Don't put Thrawn anywhere near the movies. They will just screw him up.

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This is assuming they don't kill Thrawn off this season of Rebels

They showed a Dreadnought getting shit on. Who gives a fuck.

What are you going to do to make way for Thrawn at this point? Retcon all the Dreadnought scenes in TLJ and reintroduce them in the FINAL movie in the trilogy? Strong drugs, please share.

jayrebb said:

They showed a Dreadnought getting shit on. Who gives a fuck.

What are you going to do to make way for Thrawn at this point? Retcon all the Dreadnought scenes in TLJ and reintroduce them in the FINAL movie in the trilogy? Strong drugs, please share.

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It was just alcohol. I deluded myself into thinking they could do something in 9 to recover from TLJ. Mornings afterward provide a lot of clarity.

Kylo Ren is going to be the new big bad and that could be somewhat interesting as there's always been a puppet master in these movies and now there isn't. His story still has legs. You'd think they'll have The Knights of Ren as his bodyguards but not having them will subvert expectations!

Poe Dameron is going to be a leader in the rebel alliance since he had some character development even though it was contrived and shitty, he's going to be generic and it going to be episode 6 all over again.

Finn and Rose... what is there for them to do? All they could do is be recruiters for the rebel alliance, which will be easy for them to do since whatever happened in episode 8 was apparently so inspiring. Filler again.

Rey is perfect so she'll do whatever mcguffin is needed this time and beat Kylo Ren. Maybe she will train new diverse Jedi (one black, one chinese, one muslim, one hispanic) to fight The Knights of Ren, she'll succeed where Obi Wan and Luke failed because she is a Mary Sue.

Where the fuck is Lando? If he shows up now, the original cast are all dead so who will care about him and why didn't he arrive earlier? His time has passed.

It can't be salvaged. They set so little up, you'll notice I mentioned Knights of Ren twice since that's the only thing they didn't ruin yet. I don't expect a plan there since it's LOST guy afterall.

Ending will probaly be empire and alliance remnants continuing to fight for toy sales or everyone is independant for the new trilogy advantures.

They had a moon superweapon and a planet superweapon... what about a star sized superweapon... don't know what you'd call that though!

Armadon said:

This is the only weapon left they haven't tried.

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They opted to instead "commence Operation Vacu-Suck" on the series at large....

BoozeCube said:

Imagine the potential of what could of been. Rey and Kylo go off on their own, and you know developed some character growth and maybe had a plot.

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That midget couldn't write "Rian" on his dick if he tried.

I have this tiny little faint hope that Leia's message to her cohorts in the outer rim bring back Wedge Antilles and he takes over the Rebellion. Let my nerd boner have its fun, I know it won't happen.

Fadaar said:

I have this tiny little faint hope that Leia's message to her cohorts in the outer rim bring back Wedge Antilles and he takes over the Rebellion. Let my nerd boner have its fun, I know it won't happen.

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He is still acting in things in the UK, he aged well.

Chris said:

He is still acting in things in the UK, he aged well.

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As is Ian McDiarmid. I would have considered a storyline where Snoke was the Emperor finally having cheated death, although a Thrawn storyline does shit on retreading the Emperor, the fact is Ian McDiarmid is just that good of an actor and in good enough shape, much like Mark Hammill, that he deserves to be used in the universe somewhere in a timeline movie or otherwise.

Mark was in amazing shape and they just fucking blew it to appeal to Generation Z. Generation Z is fickle, they won't keep buying tickets for subpar comic movies. They were unwise to not consider how strong the Marvel/DCU brands are comparatively before going for a Guardians of the Galaxy inspired flick.

Looking back it's pretty awesome how Ian McDiarmid "aged" perfectly into his role so to speak, with him being the right age/look for Palpatine prior to becoming Emperor in the prequels. Him and Ewan McGregor were pretty much the only consistent highlights of the prequels.

BoozeCube said:

I don't think they can salvage it at this point. There are literally no characters left to give a fuck about. Nobody likes Rey, nobody like Finn, nobody likes emo ren unless he is having sex and eating nachos. Snoke was the most worthless villain ever, Breann of Tarth sparkle storm trooper got shit on. Do you give a fuck about what happens to fat asian? Haha, of course you don't. The point to making stories is to build suspense and reason to watch them. Current version of Starwars has none of that.

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damn.... this is spot on

And Rey and Finn were so likeable in TFA. Just another thing to throw on the 'fuck Rian' diaper fire

Has Adam Driver ever done any work that wasn't awful? Yes, I know how to read imdb.com, but I don't recognize any of those B movies at all.

http://motherless.com/CCDB287


Anyone happen to know what this is from?