Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

A few things:

1) The Millennium Falcon didn't jump into hyperspace through a wall in TFA. Han opened the cargo bay door to the freighter as he was lifting off, turned the Falcon, and they went out through the opening.

2) Luke's lightsaber floating in space and landing on a planet to find it's way to Maz is not canon. That hasn't been represented in any published materials. It doesn't even rise to the level of a released deleted scene and even those are case by case as to whether they are canon or not.

3) Unkar Plutt was in possession of the Millennium Falcon for some time. Long enough to make some modifications to it. It's fairly reasonable to assume he would have installed a tracking device on a ship with a history of changing hands through theft.

Still something is fucky with the whole thing from a story perspective (ignoring the god-tier hyperspace bypass).

I mean Luke has a Jedi academy going and Han's son decides to murder everyone... except Rey who is then (previously?) abandoned on Tatooine mk 2 with the mercantile cousin of the fat fuck '50s diner guy from the prequels. Who also has Han's ship.

There's just toooooo many coincidences.

I'm going to give you guys the craziest fucking theory of all:

Disney paid 4 billion dollars up front, they planned expansions to every park, a new themed hotel, etc..etc..etc...and with no hyperbole the entire future of Disney riding on this one film. All the next films don't matter if this one gets panned like EP1-3. So they took no risks, were vague, and kept to the most simple storyline possible with the understanding they could fill in all the blanks later. The one thing they couldn't do was fuck it up. And they didn't.

So of course there's no fucking story yet. There will be, and we will all pretend (myself included) it was setup. It wasn't.

Jait_sl said:

I'm going to give you guys the craziest fucking theory of all:

Disney paid 4 billion dollars up front, they planned expansions to every park, a new themed hotel, etc..etc..etc...and with no hyperbole the entire future of Disney riding on this one film. All the next films don't matter if this one gets panned like EP1-3. So they took no risks, were vague, and kept to the most simple storyline possible with the understanding they could fill in all the blanks later. The one thing they couldn't do was fuck it up. And they didn't.

So of course there's no fucking story yet. There will be, and we will all pretend (myself included) it was setup. It wasn't.

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This is truth. Disney is now forced to do what the video game industry has been doing with franchises such as Call of Duty and Madden for years. There's just too much money riding on these IPs for them to allow for much risk, and so they're forced to play it safe and reinvent the wheel.

The best thing for Star Wars would have been if George Lucas didn't sell it for such an ridiculous amount of money. If he really loved Star Wars, as much as he so often claims he does, he wouldn't have done so, because any reasonable person would have known that doing so would force the buyer into a risk averse production strategy. That or he could have just let other directors make movies using his ideas and stories and not been so fucking heavy handed, and had some god damn humility. The essential story behind the prequels wasn't that bad. It really wasn't.

If the Trade Federation would have been a bit more menacing, if they had focused more on character development of the better actors (Ewan McGregor), a few changes made (removal of Jar Jar), and other corrections the PT could have been absolutely fantastic.

The plot was great. You had the Dark Lord of the Sith playing the victim, whilst pulling the strings, from the very beginning, all the while you seeing Anakin bond with Obi-Wan knowing that the inevitable was going to happen.

And in Episode III, when Ewan goes on his rant before he owns Hayden Christensen (you were the chosen one!)... I loved that scene. I love that they're doing a stand-a-lone film for him, if that's true. Totally deserves it. He was the only person in the prequels that showed any passion or talent.


I mean look at Empire Strikes Back. It was a Lucas' story directed by Ivan Kershner. The perfect mix, and undoubtedly the best SW film ever.

The 3 People George Lucas First Asked To Direct The Star Wars Prequels - CINEMABLEND

Apparently we have Spielberg to blame for the prequels. I can only imagine what Paul Verhoeven could have done with that story! He was just coming off of Starship Troopers, and this would've been right up his alley.

And Lucas apparently didn't know that people above the age of 12 liked Star Wars. Han shot first. Life isn't black and white.

When Rian came in and started writing his script, he started from scratch, other than knowing what we had done in Episode VII and projecting out where it was going. He then sat down and put pen to paper, and it's 100 percent him.

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That's good to hear.

And...

It's such a good story. Seriously. Luke is so cool in this one. Really."

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If Luke dies 10 minutes in I will fucking shank someone.

Yes, let's blame Spielberg and the other directors who didn't want to sign up for making a trio of movies concerning the IP that was the most precious baby of the arrogant, heavy-handed George Lucas. Spielberg couldn't have made a good set of films with Lucas producing and stayed friends with the guy. There's a reason that when you watch the making of for the prequels he's surrounded by a bunch of spineless yes men. That's what Spielberg became himself when he decided to throw George a bone and do another Indiana Jones with him, and look how that turned out.

Royal_sl said:

Yes, let's blame Spielberg and the other directors who didn't want to sign up for making a trio of movies concerning the IP that was the most precious baby of the arrogant, heavy-handed George Lucas. Spielberg couldn't have made a good set of films with Lucas producing and stayed friends with the guy. There's a reason that when you watch the making of for the prequels he's surrounded by a bunch of spineless yes men. That's what Spielberg became himself when he decided to throw George a bone and do another Indiana Jones with him, and look how that turned out.

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Jait_sl said:

I'm going to give you guys the craziest fucking theory of all:

Disney paid 4 billion dollars up front, they planned expansions to every park, a new themed hotel, etc..etc..etc...and with no hyperbole the entire future of Disney riding on this one film. All the next films don't matter if this one gets panned like EP1-3. So they took no risks, were vague, and kept to the most simple storyline possible with the understanding they could fill in all the blanks later. The one thing they couldn't do was fuck it up. And they didn't.

So of course there's no fucking story yet. There will be, and we will all pretend (myself included) it was setup. It wasn't.

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That's not crazy at all... it's practically Disney's core business.

Since Disney has been at the forefront of extending Copyright protections for authors for sooooo long, the whole process of lobbying-suing-lobbying to extend the copyrights to now 73 years AFTER the author's death is literally called the "Mickey Mouse Curve":



You remember how there have been a slate of Snow Whites and Sleeping Beauty movies lately that have NOT been Disney? That's because their copyrights to those properties have finally lapsed and they've reverted to the PUBLIC DOMAIN. Their copyright to Mickey and Donald is set to expire in 2023.

So what's the most disciplined media conglomerate in human history to do when they're rubbing up against the maximum limit for extending the copyright laws to maybe 80 years after the author's natural death?

Why they'll just buy new Intellectual Properties from people who are still alive. Thus MARVEL and STARWARS. Expect Disney to spare no expense to keep Stan Lee and George alive at any cost---they prolly required both of them to eliminate any Do-Not-Resuscitate orders as part of the purchase agreement just so Disney can keep them in a vegetative state for as long as possible.

khorum_sl said:

You remember how there have been a slate of Snow Whites and Sleeping Beauty movies lately that have NOT been Disney? That's because their copyrights to those properties have finally lapsed and they've reverted to the PUBLIC DOMAIN.

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While your larger point is accurate in that Disney has the need to acquire the rights to new IP for their movies because of the looming lapse of their current copyrights, these two were already public domain before Walt Disney ever got into the entertainment business. They're based on old fairy tales that no one holds exclusive rights to. The only thing that Disney would have rights to based on their theatrical versions are unique characters that they introduced to those stories themselves and by the chart you posted those will not expire for another 15 years or more.

Woolygimp_sl said:

The best thing for Star Wars would have been if George Lucas didn't sell it for such an ridiculous amount of money. If he really loved Star Wars, as much as he so often claims he does, he wouldn't have done so, because any reasonable person would have known that doing so would force the buyer into a risk averse production strategy. That or he could have just let other directors make movies using his ideas and stories and not been so fucking heavy handed, and had some god damn humility.

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What? 4 billion for Star Wars really isn't ridiculous at all. A new trilogy (or 2), alternate stories in the same universe, merchandise, etc. and Disney will blow past that 4 billion in just a few years

Ambiturner_sl said:

What? 4 billion for Star Wars really isn't ridiculous at all. A new trilogy (or 2), alternate stories in the same universe, merchandise, etc. and Disney will blow past that 4 billion in just a few years

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Yeah, it's a hell of a lot of money but they didn't just get Star Wars for that. They got Lucasfilm, which also includes the rights to the Indiana Jones franchise, LucasArts, Skywalker Sound, and Industrial Light and Magic so they have plenty of revenue streams from the purchase to get a return on their investment in relatively short order. They only paid half of that price in cash, the other half was in Disney stock. Compare that to their purchase of Pixar for $7.1 billion in stock a decade ago and it seems almost like a steal.

It was a steal. Lucas could have sold it to a Chinese firm for 20bln easily. He wanted it in good hands. Kinda ironic.

And like fucking nerds, you guys all missed the salient fucking point and started arguing semantics and numbers. We're only supposed to do this to normal people, not each other. Like the n word.

I guess we have to ban wooly now.

Can you just ban him from Star Wars threads and let him post everywhere else? I think that would be both funnier and more cruel.

Only if I can ban you from all blizzard threads.

Draegan_sl said:

Only if I can ban you from all blizzard threads.

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Sounds like everyone wins