Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

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Muligan

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JJ Abrams pitched the Episode 9 story to Disney CEO Bob Iger this weekend.

Also, George Lucas positively reviewed TLJ.. i'm assuming he's trolling pretty hard. He's pretty negative on his best days. lol
 
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Daezuel

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If only that Argo flavor translated well at any level to everything else he's done. Fuck.
Incoming big bad for Episode IX

jesse-lex.jpg
 
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Daezuel

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JJ Abrams pitched the Episode 9 story to Disney CEO Bob Iger this weekend.

Also, George Lucas positively reviewed TLJ.. i'm assuming he's trolling pretty hard. He's pretty negative on his best days. lol
HOW THE FUCK DO THEY NOT ALREADY HAVE THE STORY PLANNED OUT IN A TRILOGY? LIKE SERIOUS WTFING HERE.
 
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Daezuel

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I've got it, JJ is gonna bring time travel to Star Wars and we're going to erase these last 2 films completely.
 
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Asmadai

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Don't get me wrong, Luke in ROTJ was the best Luke - the calm, cool, collected Jedi Master level was fantastic to watch.

So in that regard:
I totally understand everyone being upset with how his attitude is so drastically different in TLJ.

However, that being said - and I know it's a long shot to ask but I need you to really, really think about this - wasn't Luke's change in attitude from say, Empire to Return just a tad bit much? Like he went from whiney desert planet kid to ultimate bad ass pretty damn quick, all things considered. I'm probably shooting myself in the foot for even bringing it up, but I can't be the only one who thought this.

I'm not trying to make excuses for the current movie or anything, I guess this whole talk about his personality change just made me think of that.
 
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Asmadai

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Also, George Lucas positively reviewed TLJ.. i'm assuming he's trolling pretty hard. He's pretty negative on his best days. lol

I'm like, really really starting to think we're some bizarre age now where the creators of things either don't give a flying shit how bad their works get fucked up, or they know it's better to just feign enjoyment rather than speak out against it.

King positively reviewing The Dark Tower, now Lucas praising TLJ - what the fuck is going on?
 
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The Edge

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Dude had some traumatic shit happen to him at the end of ESB. Lost his hand, lost Han, and found out his father is Darth Vader. Went to go train with Yoda for a year, and comes back a changed man in RotJ. I think that's pretty believable for him to have hardened into the badass Luke during that time.
 
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Melvin

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I'm like, really really starting to think we're some bizarre age now where the creators of things either don't give a flying shit how bad their works get fucked up, or they know it's better to just feign enjoyment rather than speak out against it.

King positively reviewing The Dark Tower, now Lucas praising TLJ - what the fuck is going on?

They're in their twilight years and couldn't care less about anything other than staying on the gravy train. It's the omnipresent story of millions of entitled assholes in the boomer generation. If you're not sick of that story yet, you probably will be before they're done dying off.
 
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Dr Neir

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Watched today. Liked it.
salty ppl are salty
glad lucas sold it

Nice changes, used to something different since Dark Forces game series. Good to expand into more things.
Still no FUCKIN Bothans! WTH
 
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Siliconemelons

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Grah... saw it... imo dialed up the "star wars" issues to 12, still better than 1,2 and 3 - those had completely other issues.

I don't know what to say.

The humor was... poorly paced, the fact a joke was the big plan that worked... and then worked...and then worked again... we see what the empires "weakness" is... its dumb... why, because the empire...first order, whatever- should "win" every single damn time... and the "little guy gets the little thing" to win trope is somehow done worse than the OG tril... again.

Luke...

Let's just say, non spoilers... it was Luke Skywalker playing Mark Hammil... not Mark Hammil playing Luke...

I did not like what they did with Luke, the characterisation is all wrong, Yoda looked good, but where the fuk was he during Luke making a temple days?

They can't have Luke be like the jedi order is not needed, the force is in everyone bla bla bla...then be like fuk u kylo! Lulz there are jedi! Haha

Snoke...snoke...dumb... write off character with that much force power just leads to allowing random other write offgin characters being super force dudes...

this felt like ep 8 and 9 in one move.. the archs were all overn it had more climaxs than an asian on a symbian (fyin killed the wrong damn asian sister...)

i suppose now we get to see if they do a old leia as well as rws young?

gah hated and loved it
 
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Locnar

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Bad movie, and when I knew the end was very close I got up and walked out because beating the parking lot traffic was more worth it than five more mins of this film.

Revenge of the Sith was better than this by far. But I actually liked Revenge of the Sith and rate it higher than any of the Disney films. /shrug

Next one is most def going to be watch at home.
 
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Fight

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Fucking movie sucked.

1. Cringe Show: From the moment Poe trolls Hucks on the intercom, I knew this was going to be a bumpy ride. Then Leah goes superman in space and I had my head in my hands. Luke grabbing them tits and getting a milk mustache?

2. Prequels Redux: Casino planet is just an abject disaster. It is like, Rian Johnson is the only fucking adult on the planet that saw the prequels and thought, "We need more of that!!"

3. Luke: What they did to Luke Skywalker, the character, is the biggest fuck you ever to fans of the series. Mark Hamill called it. If these movies mean anything at all to you, it is devastating.

4. Villains: They made a trilogy on the backbone of a bunch of villains that are bitch-ass cucks. Snoke, doesn't fucking matter. Hucks, a court jester there to get thrown into the nearest wall. Phasma, lul. Kylo, an angsty, whiny, pubescent teen that gets made a fool by a girl that has never used the force before and an illusion of an old man.

This is the biggest travesty of the new series. You have to make the audience respect and fear your villains or the stakes never feel that high. Sauron, Voldemort, The Joker, The Predator (original), Darth Fucking Vader... This trilogy is a heaping pile of shit.

Fuck you Rian Johnson.
 
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Synj

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In order:

V
IV
VI
-
-
VII
VIII
-
-
-
-
-
III
II
-
-
-Mariana Trench
-
-
-
Episode I

You guys are fucking drunk to even be comparing these to prequel bad.

Spoiled for length and cringe.

  1. “Yousa thinking yousa people ganna die?”
  2. “I don’t care what universe you’re from, that’s got to hurt!”
  3. “Love won’t save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that.”
  4. “…Don’t try it, Anakin. I have the high ground!”
  5. “There’s always a bigger fish.”
  6. “I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me.”
  7. “Are you an angel?”
  8. “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.”
  9. “Ye gods, whatta meesa sayin’?”
  10. “I sense Count Dooku.”
  11. “Ani? My goodness, you’ve grown!”
  12. How wude!”
  13. “I can’t take Dooku alone! I need you!”
  14. “I’ve been wondering… what are midi-chlorians?”
  15. Chesco, Sebulba. Chipoka oomen geesa. Me teesa radical fbombati chop chawa.”
  16. “I have the POWER! UNLIMITED… POWER!”
  17. “Droidekas!”
  18. “Uh! So uncivilized.”
  19. “Now this is pod racing!”
  20. “So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause.”
  21. “…It is only natural. He cut off your arm, and you wanted revenge.”
  22. “Always two there are, no more, no less.”
  23. “Mom, you said that the biggest problem in the universe is no one helps each other.”
  24. “He owes me what you’d call a ‘life-debt.’ Your gods demand that his life belongs to me.”
  25. “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!”
  26. “I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we’d be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.”
  27. “A vergence, you say?”
  28. “Now that I’m with you again, I’m in agony. My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar.”
  29. “No loose wire jokes.”
  30. “Your mother had gone out early, like she always did, to pick mushrooms that grow on the vaporators.”
  31. “For reasons we can’t explain, we are losing her.”
  32. “…Well, then you really are lost!”
  33. “He said… you killed younglings!”
  34. “What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?”
  35. “I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend.”
  36. “…I’ll try spinning. That’s a good trick. Whoa-ah!”
  37. “Train yourself to let go… of everything you fear to lose.”
  38. “There was no father. I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him. I can’t explain what happened.”
  39. “You were banished because you were clumsy?”
  40. “You are in my very soul, tormenting me…”
  41. “…We used to come here for school retreat. We would swim to that island every day. I love the water. We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us and try to guess the names of the birds singing.”
  42. “At an end your rule is, and not short enough was it.”
  43. “Ray shields!”
  44. “Just being around her again is… intoxicating.”
  45. Your new Empire?”
  46. “Symbionts?”
  47. “They live inside me?”
  48. “I don’t understand.”
  49. “Your presence is soothing.”
  50. “…We live in a real world, come back to it. You’re studying to become a Jedi, I’m… I’m a senator.”
  51. “You don’t want to sell me death sticks.
  52. ”Around the survivors a perimeter create!”
  53. “Miss you I shall, Chewbecca!”
  54. “…I’m not afraid to die. I’ve been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.”
  55. “If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find.”
  56. “Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth… Vader.”
  57. Nooooooooooooooooooo!”
  58. “His cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life-form.”
  59. “This is the end for you… my master.”
  60. “I can’t watch anymore.”
 
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jayrebb

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Also, George Lucas positively reviewed TLJ.. i'm assuming he's trolling pretty hard. He's pretty negative on his best days. lol

He's under contract.

He got a fucking beating for publicly criticizing TFA and then going along with mocking the Han Solo movie.

He has to make good on it-- we'll see that going forward.
 
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Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,741
52,294
In order:

V
IV
VI
-
-
VII
VIII
-
-
-
-
-
III
II
-
-
-Mariana Trench
-
-
-
Episode I

You guys are fucking drunk to even be comparing these to prequel bad.

Spoiled for length and cringe.

  1. “Yousa thinking yousa people ganna die?”
  2. “I don’t care what universe you’re from, that’s got to hurt!”
  3. “Love won’t save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that.”
  4. “…Don’t try it, Anakin. I have the high ground!”
  5. “There’s always a bigger fish.”
  6. “I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me.”
  7. “Are you an angel?”
  8. “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.”
  9. “Ye gods, whatta meesa sayin’?”
  10. “I sense Count Dooku.”
  11. “Ani? My goodness, you’ve grown!”
  12. How wude!”
  13. “I can’t take Dooku alone! I need you!”
  14. “I’ve been wondering… what are midi-chlorians?”
  15. Chesco, Sebulba. Chipoka oomen geesa. Me teesa radical fbombati chop chawa.”
  16. “I have the POWER! UNLIMITED… POWER!”
  17. “Droidekas!”
  18. “Uh! So uncivilized.”
  19. “Now this is pod racing!”
  20. “So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause.”
  21. “…It is only natural. He cut off your arm, and you wanted revenge.”
  22. “Always two there are, no more, no less.”
  23. “Mom, you said that the biggest problem in the universe is no one helps each other.”
  24. “He owes me what you’d call a ‘life-debt.’ Your gods demand that his life belongs to me.”
  25. “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!”
  26. “I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we’d be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.”
  27. “A vergence, you say?”
  28. “Now that I’m with you again, I’m in agony. My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar.”
  29. “No loose wire jokes.”
  30. “Your mother had gone out early, like she always did, to pick mushrooms that grow on the vaporators.”
  31. “For reasons we can’t explain, we are losing her.”
  32. “…Well, then you really are lost!”
  33. “He said… you killed younglings!”
  34. “What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?”
  35. “I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend.”
  36. “…I’ll try spinning. That’s a good trick. Whoa-ah!”
  37. “Train yourself to let go… of everything you fear to lose.”
  38. “There was no father. I carried him, I gave birth, I raised him. I can’t explain what happened.”
  39. “You were banished because you were clumsy?”
  40. “You are in my very soul, tormenting me…”
  41. “…We used to come here for school retreat. We would swim to that island every day. I love the water. We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us and try to guess the names of the birds singing.”
  42. “At an end your rule is, and not short enough was it.”
  43. “Ray shields!”
  44. “Just being around her again is… intoxicating.”
  45. Your new Empire?”
  46. “Symbionts?”
  47. “They live inside me?”
  48. “I don’t understand.”
  49. “Your presence is soothing.”
  50. “…We live in a real world, come back to it. You’re studying to become a Jedi, I’m… I’m a senator.”
  51. “You don’t want to sell me death sticks.
  52. ”Around the survivors a perimeter create!”
  53. “Miss you I shall, Chewbecca!”
  54. “…I’m not afraid to die. I’ve been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.”
  55. “If into the security recordings you go, only pain will you find.”
  56. “Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth… Vader.”
  57. Nooooooooooooooooooo!”
  58. “His cells have the highest concentration of midi-chlorians I have seen in a life-form.”
  59. “This is the end for you… my master.”
  60. “I can’t watch anymore.”

There's absolutely nothing wrong the majority of those lines, almost all of the shitty dialogue in the prequels is confined to Padme and Anakin scenes or any time a Gungan is speaking.
 

Morrow

Trakanon Raider
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I would say that the upcoming Episode 9 is the least I've looked forward to a Star Wars film ever, but I can't even say that, because I at least looked forward to Ep1, Ep2, Ep3, TFA and Rogue One. But right now I genuinely don't give two shits about Episode 9. I am not excited whatsoever. Am I supposed to be excited? What exactly has it built up to? Is this for real? Am I dreaming? I'm a die hard SW fan. I've been to 7 Star Wars Celebrations, spending like $20k just to go to conventions over my lifetime... I've been a fan and collector for over 23 years and I actually enjoy the prequels, despite never rewatching them much as I rewatch the original triology, they brought me some joy because I was a teenager (13 when ep1 came out) and they have their moments and they are at least Star Wars, if badly done.

But The Last Jedi? Lol. I think I enjoyed about 3 scenes. For someone that loves SW so much that they even have love for the prequels to say that one of the SW films is bad is saying something. I mean I was one of the very few that said TFA wasn't great as soon as it came out, which was a huge letdown for me. So I wasn't expecting much with The Last Jedi despite the amazing trailers and fantastic fan theories, and boy was I let down. I should have expected pure utter shit and then maybe I'd only have been midly disappointed.

At first I thought after the viewer reviews came out that maybe it was just because they went too hardcore diversity, which I could have lived with if the story was good (they did, even as a liberal, for fucksake they did, please for fucksake stoppppp, the purple haired lady wasn't even a great actor, had she been a great actor like Mothma it would have been better, but I guess she had the right look so they hired someone shit), and that it was just being mass downvoted by right wing pepe trolls. But nopppe, it's genuinely bad.

LOL the fact that nobody figured out the plot of the movie is **NOT** a point in your favor Rian Johnson, it's a point AGAINST you. Your plot was so fucking stupid that nobody even bothered to think a professional would write something so dumb, breaking so many basic rules of writing. And these aren't rules you break to be innovative, these are rules you don't break because if you do, you're simply cheating and you're writing garbage and you're not telling stories in ways that connect with people. Snoke was like... a blowjob where just before the guy busts a nut, the blowjob stops and he gets punched in the face and is told LOLJK.

I can't even. I don't have the words...

I had family shit so this was the first SW film since I've been alive that I didn't see at midnight and only saw just now, but I can't say I wasn't even feeling that excited anyways after TFA so it didn't bother me. But fuck, I wish I'd just never watched it at all.

I don't even care. Fucking hell man.
 
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Caliane

Avatar of War Slayer
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Don't get me wrong, Luke in ROTJ was the best Luke - the calm, cool, collected Jedi Master level was fantastic to watch.

So in that regard:
I totally understand everyone being upset with how his attitude is so drastically different in TLJ.

However, that being said - and I know it's a long shot to ask but I need you to really, really think about this - wasn't Luke's change in attitude from say, Empire to Return just a tad bit much? Like he went from whiney desert planet kid to ultimate bad ass pretty damn quick, all things considered. I'm probably shooting myself in the foot for even bringing it up, but I can't be the only one who thought this.

I'm not trying to make excuses for the current movie or anything, I guess this whole talk about his personality change just made me think of that.
Fake it, til you make it. I'm pretty sure the intent was Luke was largely putting on a show. he dropped the facade a few times. Jabba's barge. With the emperor. that was the point, Luke WAS tempted, and angry. he was just acting calm and like a master.
 
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Mist

REEEEeyore
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I've got it, JJ is gonna bring time travel to Star Wars and we're going to erase these last 2 films completely.
Erase the prequels too, and then tell us "what really happened."

In fact, an awesome side movie would be a feature length version of this:
 
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