Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
spronk

spronk

FPS noob
23,491
27,463
I was always gonna see episode 9 just to wrap this shit show of a trilogy up, while I can't say I think it'll still be any good I have some minor hope at least it won't sink lower than TLJ now

i just hope episode 9 is meme worthy

jkbo6t5ocvr21.jpg
 
TJT

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
<Gold Donor>
43,172
110,606
I am a fighter pilot in an incredibly fast and versatile aircraft capable of both atmospheric and space flight.

Let's rundown some bitch. Like outright run her over even though I have space lazers and this is one of the few individuals in the entire universe who could potentially win a 1v1 vs my weapon.

I bet he's one of Kylo's Ace pilots.
 
  • 2Worf
  • 1Like
Reactions: 2 users
Sevens

Sevens

Log Wizard
6,045
19,286
TJT said:
I am a fighter pilot in an incredibly fast and versatile aircraft capable of both atmospheric and space flight.

Let's rundown some bitch. Like outright run her over even though I have space lazers and this is one of the few individuals in the entire universe who could potentially win a 1v1 vs my weapon.

I bet he's one of Kylo's Ace pilots.
Click to expand...
Surprise! It Poe
 
Malakriss

Malakriss

Golden Baronet of the Realm
12,729
12,021
If I was in her position for the desert scene I would simply force push it downwards into the sand. "Surprise, mother f%^$er"
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
iannis

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,657
They brought back palpatine?

Stunning and brave.

Rich Evans called it years ago. They've just got nothing.
 
  • 7Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 7 users
TJT

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
<Gold Donor>
43,172
110,606
If ONLY they had something like the Thrawn trilogy to draw on right? I mean, if you wanted mountains of Star Wars Bucks just make that a movie trilogy and let the cash come in man.
 
  • 7Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 7 users
Rude

Rude

Potato del Grande
3,849
12,138
That trailer looked like hot garbage. Abrams doing his thing with recycling material because he can't make anything good, or original. Which will placate enough morons to piss their money away on a sub standard product, some of the people in this thread serving as poster children for that.
 
  • 7Like
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 7 users
Chukzombi

Chukzombi

Millie's Staff Member
73,141
214,421
Wombat said:
I'm not sure literally even one person on earth thinks any of this was intended from the start, but as far as retcons go, bringing Palpy back (in whatever form) is pretty damn elegant:

You can retcon Snoke from Rian shitting on everything to a parallel of Palps tossing Dooku as soon as a better apprentice was ready (Anakin / Kylo).

You can have 9 turn 1-9 into an actual trilogy of trilogies (the Palpatine saga), rather than 7+ just being "Uhh, we wanted more money, so the definitive ending of RoTJ wasn't, despite no cinematic evidence to the contrary."

If they break out the clone card for Rey, you can tie it into both the clone stuff in the prequels and Palps desire to use Skywalkers (Anakin / Luke / Kylo) to stay in power. (And yes, they would also break out the woke card and turn it into "Woman created by men as a tool is better than all of them and fixes everything because Y chromosomes are evil", or something.)
Click to expand...
if Palpatine has been alive all this time because he lived through being tossed into a death star power source. then asploded, then entering a planet's atmosphere, then the cataclysmic impact, the fucking movie is over before its begun. nobody can beat something that powerful. it also destroys the original trilogy. palpatine just made this franchise irrelevant.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
Qhue

Qhue

Tranny Chaser
7,641
4,602
The Thrawn trilogy holds a special place because it was the first part of the Expanded Universe and the first non-comic post ROTJ content created. Thrawn himself is a fantastic character and that is why he got used in Rebels to good effect. Mara Jade was another great character who has never made it past the old Expanded Universe.

The rest of the Thrawn trilogy is kinda 'meh'. The insane Obi-Wan-like Borus Cbaoth, the anti-force sloths, the robo fleet manned by discount clones and a bunch of other things are just kinda silly and don't really feel like Star Wars. Leia is effectively just a Jedi-factory and serves the story mostly by being preggers for the whole trilogy along with silly New Republic parliamentary crap.

It was fine for what it was and when it was written, but I don't want to see it in movie form.
 
  • 1EyeRoll
Reactions: 1 user
iannis

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,657
Rian killed off their bigbad trilogy villian in #2, a full movie early. And he even did it halfway THROUGH the movie. It's like if Tolkien killed sauron in the 12th chapter of Two Towers.

I'm not sure what any writer could do to clean up that mess. Bringing back the over-used and already defeated bigbad from the previous 6 movies is... It's out of a daytime soap opera. I guess it's about the only thing they could do considering how badly TLJ fucked everything up.

They should have spent the entire movie corrupting Rey (because she is untrained, and refused the ancient Jedi traditions of temperance -- corrupted with the best of intentions) and setting a defeated Darth Emo against her to be the new champion of goodness. That wouldn't be good either, but it would be better. And it also is a convienent lead in to another trilogy. But no, it's gonna be the same old shit forever.

I did like the first three movies. That doesn't mean I want to see them remade every 2 years. And remade worserer.
 
Last edited:
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users
Cybsled

Cybsled

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
17,208
13,756
TJT said:
I am a fighter pilot in an incredibly fast and versatile aircraft capable of both atmospheric and space flight.

Let's rundown some bitch. Like outright run her over even though I have space lazers and this is one of the few individuals in the entire universe who could potentially win a 1v1 vs my weapon.
Click to expand...

Did you play Battlefield 1942? Lawnmowering people on the ground with your plane was one of the great joys you could experience
 
  • 3Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 3 users
Harshaw

Harshaw

Throbbing Member
26,794
142,186
Soo what if Skywalker doesn't necessarily mean Luke himself, but what Rey calls herself instead of a Jedi. Moving past the whole Jedi thing and starting a Skywalker Order. Based off of Luke's thoughts on why the Jedi failed and how he thinks she should move on. It's a stupid idea, but I could see them trying to do something like that.
 
Jive Turkey

Jive Turkey

Karen
6,737
9,142
TJT said:
I am a fighter pilot in an incredibly fast and versatile aircraft capable of both atmospheric and space flight.

Let's rundown some bitch. Like outright run her over even though I have space lazers and this is one of the few individuals in the entire universe who could potentially win a 1v1 vs my weapon.

I bet he's one of Kylo's Ace pilots.
Click to expand...

He should've just jumped to lightspeed right through her
 
  • 6Worf
  • 2Like
Reactions: 7 users
Daezuel

Daezuel

Potato del Grande
23,757
51,557
Disney's Star Wars Episode 9

FADE IN: Remnants of 2nd Death Star

Rey "Palpatine" Skywalker
So you're saying I am a midichlorian love child between you and Vader? Two men? How brave!

Obi-Wan Kenobi
He's more machine now than m...

Korg
Piss off ghost!

Emperor Palpatine
All I wanted was to end this conflict and bring order to the galaxy but noooo, you see what happens when I go away for a little while? Starkiller base, who the fuck thought they could upstage me? Seems like a dumb fucking idea but what do I know, I tried to build the same fucking thing twice but even I know when it's time to stop building the fucking things! Yes I am your father yada yada yada now lets blow this thing and go home!


I dunno, it's a work in progress.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
Harshaw

Harshaw

Throbbing Member
26,794
142,186
TJT said:
I am a fighter pilot in an incredibly fast and versatile aircraft capable of both atmospheric and space flight.

Let's rundown some bitch. Like outright run her over even though I have space lazers and this is one of the few individuals in the entire universe who could potentially win a 1v1 vs my weapon.

I bet he's one of Kylo's Ace pilots.
Click to expand...

I mean I think it's Kylo piloting that TIE. He would know she could deflect his shots back at him.
 
Daezuel

Daezuel

Potato del Grande
23,757
51,557
Continued-

Emperor Palpatine
Meet my new apprentice, Darth Jar Jar

Darth Jar Jar
Meesa so happy to be meeting yous! NOWSA YOU BE FEELIN THE FULL POWERS OF THE FORCA

CUT TO: Dagobah

Luke wakes up in a cold sweat.

Obi-Wan Kenobi
Now you see what will happen if you save your friends.

Luke
Fuuuuucking gross, blue spacecow titty milk?

Luke stays put and finishes his training, the end.
 
  • 7Worf
Reactions: 6 users
You must log in or register to reply here.