Survivor 26: Caramoan

Calling it right now...Jeff brings the rock Francesca was holding to the reunion show and asks her to eat it.

Brandon definitely views any girl he's attracted to as a threat. The marine is going to rub people the wrong way for being a douche, but I still think the models get voted out first.
Seems like it could be a very good season just based off the first episode.

Francesca going first again gives me hope this season will be good. That's almost too crazy to not be scripted... but even with the editing she started the ball rolling with targeting Phillip which I think was a mistake. Was she really so confident in her place in the tribe to throw a name out at 5 others so quickly? Soon as she said "Phillip" to that group, I thought she was doomed.

Hope Phillip sticks around till the end again. His special version of crazy reminds me my favorite uncle who would do crazy shit just to see how people react. I also have to wonder if it was just editing, or did Phillip really pull a Boston Rob on Francesca? Say my name and you're next to go.

Cochran is so red it makes me hurt. Glad he's showing some guts with sticking it out. He's one of my favorites all time.

Seems like a mistake to be cool-kidding it up and then making out the first night, but they have 4. It isn't a case of just 2 people. 4 people just need 1 more to make things uncertain enough to sway the deciding vote into your 'cool' camp.

The Fans arriving at their camp developing into a fight about shelter vs food felt soooooooo forced... but maybe they're setting the Marine up to be a villain? Why else would they show him sitting around doing nothing while bitching about others working? Seems to me that situation is easy to find a compromise.

I was also really impressed with that structure they built for that first immunity challenge. We've got to be seeing that structure used again I think. That was 4 stories of sturdy awesomeness and couldn't have been quickly or cheaply constructed.

I actually felt bad for Francesca but it's also kind of funny. She must molest retarded children or something for karma to smack her that hard again.

Phillip is full of win with his pink fruit-of-the-looms, his goofyass nicknames and being so socially unaware in general but im not looking forward to when the law of entropy takes its toll on his panties and they are showing his cock swinging around with a block-out thing that doesn't help enough.

Hantz hates the pretty women. Pure and simple - he despises them. I bet his marriage has interesting dynamics. The look of sheer orgiastic joy on his face when Andrea was getting nervous about her name on all those cards was telling. Bet that fucker has a rape-kit in the trunk of his car. It will be interesting to see who wins the "I'm crazier than a shithouse rat, so I get to ride to the end for free because no one will vote for me because ultimately i'm no threat" ticket. Probably Phil since he just vanquished a threat that Hantz was aligned with and the editing for next week's show makes it appear that Hantz doubles down on a rampage of crazy.

That marine douche intrigues me. I assume at this point that people who go on Survivor know the show pretty well and have seen most or all seasons and if so you must also know you cannot be that big of a cockstain and win. Yet every season there is at least one over the top Alpha that alienates him/herself right off the bat and though they usually don't get voted off first, they never win. Ever. Maybe they just edited him to seem like more of an ass than he really is. We'll see.

Cochran. I was a little surprised at first when his name didn't get tossed around at all for tribal. I like Cochran but I'm not sure what purpose he serves for a tribe and many times at the beginning weaker players get culled so you can stay strong to win challenges/rewards. I underestimated how quickly the Favs would begin working inter-political strategies and not worry about overall team strength.

The self-styled cool kids club might be fucked from the get-go if they really were as asinine as the editing made them seem. And the cuddling idiots making out/humping or whatever on the first night was fucking awesome. Survivor is great because people cannot control their egos, hormones, or crazy, not even for a better chance at a mil.

My underdog pick for this season: That little hottie Brenda.

Brenda wouldn't be an underdog, really. She dominated her season until she herped and derped her way to a blindside (that wasn't a blindside because she saw it coming, just actively decided to do fuck all about it). So anyway, I'd put Brenda in as one of the favorites to win it coming in.

If I had to make picks purely off of the 1st episode edit (screen time, foreshadowing, etc):

Cochran is either your winner or at least in the final 3.
Dawn goes far, probably paired with Cochran the whole way.
Brenda is fucking hot (probably goes far).
Malcolm, Andrea and Phillip are in trouble. Either gone pre-merge if they lose enough, or go quickly after the merge.
Corrine and Brandon are next to go.
Totally unsure on Erik. Maybe he flies under the radar until the merge.

No reads on the Fan's tribe yet outside of the villainous black man and the cool kids alliance going down in flames (both totally obvious).

Talking about needing to "split the vote" on Day 1 = instant vote off. Are you stupid? Seriously.

And that "Cool Kid" on the fans team with the lisp.. I want to punch in his snaggletoothed mouth.

Adam12_sl said:

Brenda wouldn't be an underdog, really. She dominated her season until she herped and derped her way to a blindside (that wasn't a blindside because she saw it coming, just actively decided to do fuck all about it). So anyway, I'd put Brenda in as one of the favorites to win it coming in.

If I had to make picks purely off of the 1st episode edit (screen time, foreshadowing, etc):

Cochran is either your winner or at least in the final 3.
Dawn goes far, probably paired with Cochran the whole way.
Brenda is fucking hot (probably goes far).
Malcolm, Andrea and Phillip are in trouble. Either gone pre-merge if they lose enough, or go quickly after the merge.
Corrine and Brandon are next to go.
Totally unsure on Erik. Maybe he flies under the radar until the merge.

No reads on the Fan's tribe yet outside of the villainous black man and the cool kids alliance going down in flames (both totally obvious).

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If I remember correctly, Brenda tried to blindside her main alliance person and he got wind of it and took her out instead. That's why she didn't scramble when it was her turn to go. They didn't show it on the show, but talked about it in the reunion.

maybe it's the white guy in me, but man that Brenda is hot. missed her and Andrea

Brandon Hantz, really is the looniest of the bunch. Philip is an awkward penguin, Brandon is certifiable. Don't worry he's doing God's work.

Is every "next time, on Survivor" going to feature Brandon wanting to kill people? Until he's voted out, I mean.

Lol@ Brandon acting like a tough crazy guy to the camera, then Phil, in his pink undies, tells Brandon how shit is going to be and Brandon runs back to camp crying like a bitch. That was fucking great.

Lazy Black Shrek absolutely owned the shit out of Prettyboy McStupidass. That attempt at calling Shrekamar out just seemed lame and smacked of desperation.

Allie being voted off was right and proper - no surprises there.

Yeah, the "Next week on Survivor!" stuff is usually horseshit. I don't trust it at all to be meaningful.

I loved Cochran's assessment to the camera that Brandon reminds him of a sociopath. You know you're cuckoo when even Phil thinks you're nuts.

Yeah, how Phillip defined "narcist" or whatever word he made up for Brandon was sociopath. So two people called you a sociopath within 5 minutes...think he'll take a hint?

Nah, sociopaths probably don't take hints. They know for a fact that they're always right and are too busy winning Charlie Sheen style. Except instead of Tiger's blood coursing through his veins, he has UncleFucker blood in his!

Glad they did the smart vote and broke up the dipshit most obvious couples ever alliance. You dumb, pretty bastards.

I hope Brandon and Phillip stick around, we might get the first Survivor murder!