Swords and Boards - A Pantheon Guild

Soygen said:

I volunteer as treasurer.

Click to expand...

Are you proficient in common core?

Cynical said:

I too possess big dick energy

Click to expand...

** A Complete Clusterf**k: Recruitment Edition **

Alright, *Swords and Boards*, listen up because we need to talk about last week. You know, the week where you all somehow managed to turn a recruitment drive into a *full-scale catastrophe*. I don’t even know where to begin. Actually, I do—@Foler, because this is all your fault.

Foler , I put you in charge of recruitment because you said, and I quote, “I’ve got this.” Do you know what you *actually* had? Chaos. What the hell were you thinking when you invited *@Zombiewizardhawk* to lead the orientation? You know, the guy who can’t get through a single day without summoning something creepy from the underworld? You want new members to stick around, not immediately start questioning their life choices. You think people want to sign up for a guild where the first thing they see is some undead bird flying across the meeting hall? Get it together.

Oh, and let’s talk about Lightning Lord Rule for a second. You—*YOU*—decided to "welcome" recruits by showing off your "lightning control" skills. Was it necessary to blow up three recruitment posters and *electrocute* one of the recruits? The poor guy's still twitching. What is it with you and overkill? You’re a *guild officer*, not Zeus on a power trip.

Kiroy , who told you it was a good idea to serve booze at the recruitment booth? Were we running a tavern or trying to recruit actual members? I watched you hand Utnayan a mug so big, it was more of a barrel, and what happens next? Yeah, Utnayan downs it, smashes the empty thing over a recruit’s head, and then starts arm-wrestling people like we’re some kind of medieval fight club. And shocker—people weren’t impressed! *Who knew!?*

But let’s not forget Araxen , who thought it’d be “cool” to host an impromptu PvP demo in the middle of recruitment. You know, because nothing says “join us” like beating the crap out of new people while screaming “THIS IS WHAT POWER LOOKS LIKE!” What is wrong with you? I didn’t put you in charge to terrify the fresh blood. If we’re gonna be terrifying, at least do it on purpose.

And then there’s Synj , who somehow managed to knock over *not one, but TWO* tents full of recruitment materials. How? HOW do you do that? You weren’t even in combat! You tripped over *nothing* and sent everything flying. We now have a whole group of potential recruits who think we can’t even handle setting up a tent. How do we recover from that? Spoiler alert: We don’t.

Look, we’re not asking for miracles here. I’m not expecting you all to suddenly become brilliant leaders overnight, but I thought basic common sense wasn’t too much to hope for. Yet, here we are, explaining to new recruits why the guild’s recruitment office looks like it got hit by a tornado and why half of our guild members are functionally insane.

Foler , you’re *this close* to getting demoted to *janitor*. The rest of you? Get your heads on straight before we end up with nothing but pity recruits who join just to see the trainwreck.

Shape up or find yourselves a new guild to wreck.

Bandwagon,
*Wondering How We Even Made It This Far*