The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)

Critics hate shit people like and love sucking their own cocks and liking things the general audience doesn’t so they can feel superior. Same with music. Critics are the same as SJWs....gotta make it about them. It’s not about if the movie is good or bad, it’s whether they can feel superior about hating a trash film the unwashed masses like, or loving a three hour art film with menopausal allegories. They get it because they are sooooooo deeeeeeeep.

I thought this was pretty shit actually. I mean, the humor was down right cringe at times.

Lanx said:

the only humor part was the one arm guy, i thought his acting was amazing after that, hell before that, what is he? the janitor?

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Well, he's Irish, so... yes.

So Im thinking about the team

Captain - American. Makes sense .We rule.
Physicist - German - Makes sense, great history of world leading physicists from Germany, at least until the USA stole them all.
Engineer - Chinese - Makes sense they would have engineer that could manage this massive machine ,though no Chinese woman would ever be allowed to be a part of this by their governments decision. China has a budding space program
Air, Heating Cooling - Russian - Long history of great space programs, lots of background with the ISS in station management.
Facilities - Italian - No accent, big guy from IT crowd...Ok I guess maybe? Could be a member from the Euro Space Agency.
Main Character - English - Ok I dont know her role on the station but English, fine, another ESA toss in.
Doctor - Brazil - WTF IS A SOUTH AMERICAN DOING THERE? Brazil doesnt have a pot to piss in now, and in 10 years during an energy criss they all of a sudden can fund a join venture into space?

Felt like a weird inclusion.

Edit - Oh Shit was big one arm guy Irish? I thought I saw an Italian flag and that threw me for a loop. Irish makes way more sense. Guess im a dumb Yankee.

Super tall blonde was hot. Want to eat her box while she lords over me

It was as if they asked a group of kids what would be cool in a horror movie.

Unexplained moving arm is of course the top on the list. Can we also have stuff that randomly starts moving as if the ship were haunted? Kids cannot stand icky worms and so we have to have worms as well. Would it not be cool if parts of the ship appeared in people?" How about when mommy goes and gets a MRI done and she has to take off all her metal? We could put a scene in that shows what could happen if mommy did not remove her metal.

This movie had a lot of contradiction and "What the Fuck" moments in it. Its a shame because I could see a well done science fiction movie being made on the premise they were trying to convey. The idea that ripping space created Cloverfield could have been feasible in its own way. They could have left out the 2nd earth and instead have entered the realm where the creatures came from. The return trip could have been the cause of the original movie. A very simple but fun premise. This movie never even explained why what they did, created the destructive environment on Earth.

It takes a really bad movie to not even fulfill its own premise.

Lanx said:

Better than african doctor, mistakenly giving you da aids, cuz they needed vast continent representation.

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Doctor Mugabe -- Captain, I believe if we can find and rape a baby it will take us back to our original dimension

On the arm - I agree it was just "What trope can we throw in". They didnt do enough with the whole dimensions smashing into each other.

So when our crew arrives we would think they smashed into the other station causing it to fall into the ocean...Why no damage? Why did Blonde chick end up in the ship? Why did all the stations comms cut over to the present messages?

I love the idea of duplicate realities and atoms competing for the same space causing time and space issues....they just had no consistency or really anything of note. Just did whatever they thought was cool and then said "MAGIC"

I dont think ill ever watch anything to do with Bad robot again after this bait and switch of random movies crap. Im very annoyed that Abrams isnt getting crushed for this.

I think I would have liked the film better if at the end we found out it was just a Tide ad.

thats why i enjoyed the movie so much, it really dropped down to "this is so dumb this is funny". Like the ruski wasn't just implanted with a giant gyro in him (what an ass pounding that must have been), he ALSO had every worm in him and they made his eyeball do all kinds of fucked up shit. None of that, or the arm, made any sense, but ya just accept it as the sort of thing that happens when you cross dimensions. The science in every scene is just incredibly bad and has enough holes to drive the Enterprise through, but this is 50s era pulp sci fi not regular sci fi.

i also thought when they first started hearing the transmissions from Earth 2 they had gone back in time to WW2 (blitzkreig etc) I'm glad they avoided that trope. Didn't understand either how they had shifted ahead nearly 1/2 the orbital radius but whatever that just happens when you swap dimensions

The hot blonde chick was french or belgian i think? she had a different flag on her arm

Some interesting stuff I read and didn't think about, spoilers ho and all that jazz

- the solo arm wasn't sentient, it was being controlled by the guy in the other universe. Presumably the guy we saw was controlling one arm in the other universe. Yeah that really doesn't make much sense.
- the room where the chinese girl (she's from Crouching Tiger btw) was started filling up with water because the space station crashed into the ocean in the other universe
- the magnet stuff suddenly happened because the other station was being lifted out of the water with cranes
- the man briefly interviewed on Earth TV is the brother of Howard (Goodman) from 10 Cloverfield Lane
- the reporter lady interviewing him dies at the start of 10 Cloverfield
- there is a bright red flash the final time the accelerator is used, it occurs i guess somewhere in 10 CL too

I wonder if there are any easter eggs with the little girl that gets rescued, cuz that entire sub plot seemed completely unrelated to everything except they were in a bunker

I believe the next 2 movies are going to continue with the multiverse anthology idea, because that is way, way, way cheaper than doing a Kaiju movie and probably Pacific Rim 2 is going to validate their idea.

spronk said:

Some interesting stuff I read and didn't think about, spoilers ho and all that jazz

- the solo arm wasn't sentient, it was being controlled by the guy in the other universe. Presumably the guy we saw was controlling one arm in the other universe. Yeah that really doesn't make much sense.
- the room where the chinese girl (she's from Crouching Tiger btw) was started filling up with water because the space station crashed into the ocean in the other universe
- the magnet stuff suddenly happened because the other station was being lifted out of the water with cranes
- the man briefly interviewed on Earth TV is the brother of Howard (Goodman) from 10 Cloverfield Lane
- the reporter lady interviewing him dies at the start of 10 Cloverfield
- there is a bright red flash the final time the accelerator is used, it occurs i guess somewhere in 10 CL too

I wonder if there are any easter eggs with the little girl that gets rescued, cuz that entire sub plot seemed completely unrelated to everything except they were in a bunker

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I hate all of these.

Overall movie was fine for watching something at home but I wish that the amount of effort put into the rest of the film was put into the script. It's just goofy.

Lanx said:

she wore the janitors clothes cuz she was so damn tall

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The actress is 6’2” in real life. I’m 6’8”... she's basically my perfect woman.

I’m confused by the Cloverfield tie in. Overall not terrible, they put some decent effort into the station sets. I’ve watched most of the low to mid budget sci if stuff out there like Europa Report and this felt in line with that stuff. Would be neat to see if we managed to solve this Cloverfield problem with more science or something.