The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
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Haha where the fuck did Antarius come from. I love this guy. The transition from old to new seems like it took no time at all.
As he said, the girl is probably picking up on signals that you are overly concerned with getting laid. You may be jumping at any chance get sexual, or any chance to progress from kissing to something else. It can look like a sign of desperation, ie getting laid at any cost, or that you don't care about her, or both. In any event, you are giving off the wrong vibe.
I have a little different perspective on how to handle it. Some guys play the asshole card. I tend to just reframe it and/or tease them for being suspicious. Two examples from first dates in Korea of girls that I met online: One girl I asked to come over my place after dinner followed by drinks at a bar. It was late and the subway was going to stop running in about an hour, so she acted really suspicious because her coming over meant staying over. I got the impression that she was afraid of looking like a fool/getting used, so I told her my only concern was to spend more time with her, and that it was totally fine to sleep separately if she wanted. We ended up having sex. The other girl (this is the girl who vaginavomited cat food onto my bed), same scenario, only her reaction to my invitation was this exagerated look of suspicion like I'm some lunatic for even suggesting it. So I laughed and teased her about her reaction. I told her to pretend to invite me over to her house so I could do an impression of her, and I did this over the top caracature of her reaction. 2 hours later she was expelling unknown fluids on my couch.
It all depends on your personality, the girl you are with, and your read on what makes her tick and the reasoning for her objection. It should be congruent with your personality or at least the way that she sees you. I would probably fail miserably with what Antarius suggested, for example. If you're just trying for a 1 night stand, you just respond as best you can to it. If you plan to see the girl again, you probably fucked up somewhere in trying to move to fast, failing to build enough comfort, being too eager to get laid, etc.
As he said, the girl is probably picking up on signals that you are overly concerned with getting laid. You may be jumping at any chance get sexual, or any chance to progress from kissing to something else. It can look like a sign of desperation, ie getting laid at any cost, or that you don't care about her, or both. In any event, you are giving off the wrong vibe.
I have a little different perspective on how to handle it. Some guys play the asshole card. I tend to just reframe it and/or tease them for being suspicious. Two examples from first dates in Korea of girls that I met online: One girl I asked to come over my place after dinner followed by drinks at a bar. It was late and the subway was going to stop running in about an hour, so she acted really suspicious because her coming over meant staying over. I got the impression that she was afraid of looking like a fool/getting used, so I told her my only concern was to spend more time with her, and that it was totally fine to sleep separately if she wanted. We ended up having sex. The other girl (this is the girl who vaginavomited cat food onto my bed), same scenario, only her reaction to my invitation was this exagerated look of suspicion like I'm some lunatic for even suggesting it. So I laughed and teased her about her reaction. I told her to pretend to invite me over to her house so I could do an impression of her, and I did this over the top caracature of her reaction. 2 hours later she was expelling unknown fluids on my couch.
It all depends on your personality, the girl you are with, and your read on what makes her tick and the reasoning for her objection. It should be congruent with your personality or at least the way that she sees you. I would probably fail miserably with what Antarius suggested, for example. If you're just trying for a 1 night stand, you just respond as best you can to it. If you plan to see the girl again, you probably fucked up somewhere in trying to move to fast, failing to build enough comfort, being too eager to get laid, etc.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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I guess it would be fair to ask what age violentsalad is. The dynamic on that shit changes considerably after 30 and I failed to consider his age.
But I will say that younger girls, especially, have this stupid tick where they want to get laid but do not want to feel like sluts. So they make you do this stupid dance where you have to commit at the right level and pace so they can feel good about themselves after fucking you silly. Its really the most annoying thing about relationships and a major reason I am so glad I am happily married.
But I will say that younger girls, especially, have this stupid tick where they want to get laid but do not want to feel like sluts. So they make you do this stupid dance where you have to commit at the right level and pace so they can feel good about themselves after fucking you silly. Its really the most annoying thing about relationships and a major reason I am so glad I am happily married.
Void
BAU BAU
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2nd base sure has escalated a lot since I was in school
This sounds like something I'd say and I like it.
I'll give yall more details of the recent one for shits and giggles....
So I was friend zoned... which I was fine with but she threw away our friendship over an insecure guy. We hadn't talked for a little over half a year
Then, she texted. Didn't give her much; called her out for being a bitch; ended there.
2 Weeks pass, she calls me... She comes over; Add 1 part alcohol, 1 part teasing and we're making out, removing clothes, having mediocre sex. She wanted it, so I'm not to much of an ass.
Since then two nights of her drunk, "I want to fuck" texting occurs; no fucking occurs.
Last night we end up texting, she starts whining about life, I'm not going back to friend zone so I back out with a, "goodnight."
she responds, "i guess"
I say, "Come over"
More talking happens and that's where my 3rd girl to say, "you just want to fuck" comes in and it just bothered me that I keep getting this. I did care about this girl before she "broke my heart" and one of the other ones.
Not going to wall of text yall, so lot of paraphrasing and missing detail. I'm not committing or risking getting attached w/o massive proof that she wants a real relationship (I can sex w/o attachment). Not really looking for advice on this just figured I'd give a background story and slight entertainment. I did fuck friend zone which I'm proud of.
"Young and dumb" in low 20s, she is younger and dumber
I don't know what baseball you play.
1st: kissing
2nd: boobtown
3rd: vagina
Home: traditional sex
There is a lot of different stuff that can be done, but when you over complicate it you defeat the purpose of the map/scale/game. I think 3rd became oral at some point to a lot of people, 2nd is hand play, and it's all john fucking madden'd
1st: kissing
2nd: boobtown
3rd: vagina
Home: traditional sex
There is a lot of different stuff that can be done, but when you over complicate it you defeat the purpose of the map/scale/game. I think 3rd became oral at some point to a lot of people, 2nd is hand play, and it's all john fucking madden'd
That context makes it quite a bit different. Having formerly been in the friend zone is like being a recovering drug addict: Stay far away from even a taste of friendship because any little slip and you could be off the wagon.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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First: Making out2nd base sure has escalated a lot since I was in schoolAt that rate 3rd should be sex, and home is what, anal?
Second: Copping a feel / petting
Third: Under the clothes, or removing clothes
Home Run: penetration of any of her orifaces with your penis. I was never clear if you had to nut. That would probably be like an almost inside the park homer where you got thrown out at home. If you nutted before insertion though, it was a ground rule double.
That being said, I've gotten girls to orgasm with second base.
Yeah i was wondering if anyone else was reading that he fucked the shit out of her.
Needless
Toe Sucker
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Only one can hope.2nd base sure has escalated a lot since I was in schoolAt that rate 3rd should be sex, and home is what, anal?
Only one.
can.
hope.
The xkcd comic MORE than fully explained it. If you're fucking 29 and younger women, use the base system that they use, not the system as it was 20 years ago, 3rd base is oral. If she'll let you put your hands on her bare breast (and start sucking on them), she'll let you put your hand in her pants. (protip: put your hands in down the back of her pants when you've got your arms around her and then slide them around to the front instead of trying to put your hands directly down the front), as long as you don't try to start finger fucking her, you're golden.
Anyways, yes, I think I've changed quite a bit in the past 4 years since I lost my virginity. I'm no Sam Deathwalker. I prefer not having to pay for sex, but I don't feel bad about it when I do, and I like to pretend I'm giving the escorts a good time with me as well. I've had sex with about 30 women in the past 4 years. I've been rejected hundreds of times. As I've started to shed fat and gain muscle in the 5 months (fixing my diet and beginning to work out), it has definitely helped as well, Because it helps me follow the 2 absolute rules of dating that everyone is subject to.
Dabamf gave better advice, so I'll quote it for emphasis:
Anyways, yes, I think I've changed quite a bit in the past 4 years since I lost my virginity. I'm no Sam Deathwalker. I prefer not having to pay for sex, but I don't feel bad about it when I do, and I like to pretend I'm giving the escorts a good time with me as well. I've had sex with about 30 women in the past 4 years. I've been rejected hundreds of times. As I've started to shed fat and gain muscle in the 5 months (fixing my diet and beginning to work out), it has definitely helped as well, Because it helps me follow the 2 absolute rules of dating that everyone is subject to.
Dabamf gave better advice, so I'll quote it for emphasis:
For me, playing the asshole card works, because I've become jaded over the past couple years, so it comes off naturally.
Zaara
I'm With HER ♀
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And from what I've read it's really come in handy landing you those special catches.
moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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Ronaan
Molten Core Raider
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"Can you blame me? I mean, look at you... you're so hot... of course I want to fuck you!"
or something like that.
Married for 21 years, not much to tell. Relationships are hard and you need to work on them. Still do not want to see this thread to vanish to page 2, so bump.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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The only part of Johnny's posts that I believe is that he pays for sex. I have my doubts that he was ever married. If he is, then his wife would have found out by now, unless she is banging the pool boy in all the spare time Johnny's hooker shenanigans afford her.
