The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

popsicledeath_sl said:

Just wait until she contacts you saying she's got a restraining order, and then keeps contacting you telling you she's sorry she got a restraining order and wants to be friends and she didn't mean it, and then if you respond contacts you saying you contacted her in defiance of the restraining order so the police have been notified and to never contact her again.... but keeps contacting you.

Bitch crazy. For your sake, never talk to her again. If you see her, walk the other way. Then in the future you'll have emails from her saying "WHY ARE U IGNORING ME!!!" that will help bolster your defense against her claims you're breaking the restraining order she'll get against you.

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Yeah, there's big potential for circular weirdness there. I don't intend to contact her again any way you slice it.

Lightning Lord Rule_sl said:

This.


Also, you apologized. Never apologize. Even if you're wrong. To paraphrase Harvey Keitel from "U-571": You're the captain here. The captain is never wrong, even when he is.

And start going for girls younger than 40. At that point in her life if it's more than just a short term fling, she's most likely too damaged to form a lasting relationship with anyway.

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Regarding apologies: I disagree with this part. There's nothing wrong with it, it's a human thing. As fucked up as breaking up with someone by e-mail is (like 10 sentences long, at that,) I did go pretty overboard on her one night via text. It just made me out to be a dick instead of keeping all the blame on her. So, I apologized for that stuff. The things I said to her dad were none of my business, but he e-mailed (the guy never had my e-mail address before, only her and her mom did) and was being snarky, so I told him some private things the ex told me in confidence, which ties into the whole thing. Looking back, I shouldn't have repeated it, even if I was pissed off at him for blaming me over everything.

You don't realize it when you're all emotional and/or pissed off, but the best revenge is saying nothing. I, unfortunately, did the opposite. I should have got that e-mail breakup, said at most "Okie dokie!" or something else cutsey and simple, then left her to stew in her own juices.

They've got a big skeleton in the closet...a few suicides in the family, and a quadruple murder suicide in the 1980's. My ex told me she's afraid of her dad sometimes because he gets angry and they have a family history (on his side) of violence. In that e-mail I wrote to him, I recanted her feelings about that. She was super, super neutral with her parents, never took sides. I can imagine it was quite uncomfortable for her that her dad read about how she's afraid of what he'll do sometimes. So, I know exactly what she's talking about when she said "I can't forgive you for what you said to my parents."

Aside from that, they've got quite an interesting family, some of which I met, both here and in France...they're related to two famous families, one famous German brand name that still exists, and a reasonably famous impressionist painter. She wasn't 40 when I met her, we were both in our 30's (I still am,) she's still several years older than me, though. She has a weird relationship history despite being quite attractive and coming from a well to do family. I could go on and on.

Long story short again: The entire family has problems. We got along great, talked about marriage all the way from early last year until it ended, etcetera. Then she freaked out about something, then the e-mail breakup. I do not think she's capable of sustaining a long term relationship, yeah, for a number of reasons too lengthy to get into here. Her mom LOVED me and thought we were gonna married, too. I think she thought I was finally the one who was going to pin her down...nope!

Lightning Lord Rule_sl said:

None of that shit matters. Never apologize to a woman. You shouldn't have even responded to her father, or at most told him to butt out.

As soon as you apologize, you're putting yourself in a position of submission (heh, get it? sub mission? U-571? anyway). As soon as you're in this submissive position with regards to a woman, it's the beginning of the end. All those things you mentioned are facts sure, but the facts don't matter, not to her. Facts are merely inconveniences that will be rationalized away at the earliest opportunity.

It's just bad policy to put yourself in that position with regards to a relationship with a woman. You're the Captain, she's the Executive Officer, at best. Maybe more like Supply Officer if there's no kids involved.



TL;DR

Act like a man! (and you'll do better next time)

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I'm sure you've learned a lot from reading PUA PDFs, but you completely missed the point. "Acting like a man" doesn't mean never apologizing. Secondly, the relationship was already over...I had nothing to lose by apologizing for nasty things I said. What "beginning of the end" are you talking about? The end was already there.

This is forum.bodybuilding.com level advice. This wasn't a 3 month long relationship.

Famm_sl said:

Actually its pretty obvious. You acted like a jackass and stood up to her father. Then she says never talk to me again, and you were like "ok whatever, cya" and stopped talking to her. Next thing you know she's creeping back to you slowly after you show lack of giving fucks. She literally comes right out and says "you had a lot of nerve saying that shit to my parents" (covert speak: damn you really stood up to that asshole and didn't give single fuck, that was HOT). You respond not with "yeah he's a fucking asshole, I told him so, and I'd tell him again" but with "oh gosh sorry I stepped out of line" and she immediately goes cold again.

Mock LLR's posts all you want but if anything the entire thing went completely textbook to what he's trying to tell you.

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That'd be great if I were still trying to get back with her.

She contacted me out of the clear blue AGAIN, a month after my last contact with her. That's twice now I've ignored her, and twice she's tried to contact me again. This latest contact was just last week. I didn't respond.

Let me break this thing down one more time, very simply (not being sarcastic, it's a bunch of shit to read through.)

- She broke up with me by e-mail. I blew up at her over it, told her to fuck off, told her dad he's a dick, she responded "never contact me again." This was early December.

- New Year's Day, zero contact, she texts me.

- We bump into each other somewhere in February. We talk friendly. She sends me the aforementioned weird text. I text her back "Sorry for the things I said." (Like who gives a shit at this point?)

- Last week she e-mailed me the above little e-mail, calling me "my dear."

That's it.

I honestly have no reason to believe she won't contact me again. Despite how "badass" and "alpha" you want to be, there's nothing wrong with apologizing to someone. I wasn't seeking to gain anything. It's just part of humanity. I shouldn't have told her dad things she told me in confidence.

Read this part clearly: I've apologized more than once, yet she still contacts me, despite the fact she keeps saying she won't.

Trollface_sl said:

does that mean he could have banged her at least one more time.

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Exactly. Like why else would I have played it any differently? I wasn't trying to get back with her.

Post pics of her.

I probably wouldn't have responded unless I was drunk or really horny when she tried to contact me again. But if I was talking to her, I damn sure wouldn't stop just because she asked me to a 3rd time. Make sure you get the last word bro.