The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

Big Phoenix · May 7, 2014

Adebisi_sl said:
Nothing like admiring a fine ass in yoga pants only to notice the face it's connected to. There are some over 50 ladies that have really great asses.

Haha fucking truth. Been a number of times Ive noticed a nice pair of legs and ass only to see its on a mid 50s body.

Sutekh · May 7, 2014

I go to an old person gym in my area so there are fucking tons of old women in yoga pants that have ridiculous asses for 50-60 year olds. It's really deceiving.

Julian The Apostate · May 7, 2014

Khane_sl said:
Bros, I met this MILF a couple weeks ago who looked so tight and nice. We hit it off, went out a couple times and she ended up back at my place. She knew she was coming over that night so she bought a giant fucking suitcase to stay the night. I was concerned. She then invites herself to "clean up" by taking a shower and says she has to put pajamas on first. I'm getting annoyed. Finally she gets into bed and we get into it. Stretchy pants and push up bras need to be outlawed. That shit was a lie. Her tits were fucking disgusting, I faked it so I could stop, then she wanted to cuddle and stay the night. I didn't know how crazy she would get if I told her no so I let her. Then I found she left her toothbrush in my toothbrush holder the next morning after she was finally gone.

Now I've gotta tread lightly and feign interest for a little while via text message while I slowly distance myself. Then when she asks why I haven't been talking to her I'll make up some bullshit about how I've been thinking a lot about what we talked about and how I want to have kids of my own but she can't because her uterus was removed. I need to experience that magic and I'm sorry but I just don't think I can get past it. Random pussy is just too much goddamn work. I need to roll up in Camden.

Think up a better excuse. I can't think of anything worse to tell anything worse to tell a crazy woman than you're breaking up with her because her woman parts are broken.

Sterling · May 7, 2014

Just tell her that she might want to get an HIV test.

Khane · May 7, 2014

Man, if I can't joke around in this thread where the fuck am I supposed to do it? Facebook? The fuck bros?

Burnesto · May 7, 2014

I just quit texting back and cut the shit off like a boss. No need for explanations.

popsicledeath · May 8, 2014

Khane_sl said:
Man, if I can't joke around in this thread where the fuck am I supposed to do it? Facebook? The fuck bros?

In the posts you're writing, but with funnier, more interesting joking?

Hope that helps.

Huggles!

Dabamf_sl · May 8, 2014

Wtf happened. Was it verbally rape khane for no reason day? Jesus Christ

I'd just slowly decrease contact and be "busy" if she tries to make plans with you. Progressively take longer to respond to texts until you stop altogether. Or just save her pancake tits for a night your heater breaks and you need to keep your head warm so you call her over and lay her soft, gentle, flat bossum over your small, red ears

Sutekh · May 8, 2014

You American Inventors keep referring to this in the plural. It was me who was talking to Khane. You can say it was me, I wont mind I promise.

popsicledeath · May 8, 2014

Why isn't the word plural plural? Plurals, you know? Refer to us in the plurals, please!

Antarius · May 8, 2014

Yes, sometimes the crazy doesn't reveal itself until the pillow talk... The chick I lost my virginity to told me how she lost custody of her child after she threatened to kill it (i forget the exact details, maybe she put the baby in the microwave and tgreatened to turn it on, i forget, but so!erhing like that) and the baby daddy beat her off and took the child to safety...

Point is, the advice I was given then, was great advice, run away fast and break contact fast... Don't try to drag this on for weeks, she'll only get more attached as you start to distance yourself, because shit is catnip to a woman, break it gently, but break it off right away.

TrollfaceDeux · May 8, 2014

Antarius_sl said:
Yes, sometimes the crazy doesn't reveal itself until the pillow talk... The chick I lost my virginity to told me how she lost custody of her child after she threatened to kill it (i forget the exact details, maybe she put the baby in the microwave and tgreatened to turn it on, i forget, but so!erhing like that) and the baby daddy beat her off and took the child to safety...

why would anyone share that story. mind blown.

popsicledeath · May 8, 2014

Some people need to be told not to get with chicks who try to microwave their babies. If one other person is saved reading that story, then it was worth sharing!

Sutekh · May 8, 2014

Bro, I think he means why would the woman share that story.

popsicledeath · May 8, 2014

Sutekh_sl said:
Bro, I think he means why would the woman share that story.

That isn't not the joke.

Johnny53 · May 8, 2014

I don't pay for sex...I pay them to leave when I am done

Ridas · May 8, 2014

Yes, ok. Thats totally how it works, Johhny.

Aaron · May 8, 2014

Confirmed: J49 is Charlie Sheen! No wonder the smack whores love you, they can't resists your Adonis tiger blood (read: money). Keep on #winning!

Julian The Apostate · May 8, 2014

Johnny49_sl said:
I don't pay for sex...I pay them to leave when I am done

Ok, but explain the walk on the beach bro.

iannis · May 8, 2014

#winning

The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

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