You're trying too hard to put your personality on the table. The jokes, the beliefs about sex, etc. Tone it down, and get to the date earlier than you do. I disagree about pushing the date too fast. You want her to give you some reason to want to see her other than her looks before you suggest the meet. That sets you up better for the future and increases the chance of her saying yes. But it should be quick
So I quit fucking around on tinder. Realized associating with low class girls is not worth getting laid easily anymore. That one chick that blew me off 20m after our meet never contacted me again. Given how our first date went, I know I could have contacted her again and at least had some fun out of it, but it wasn't worth my time. At the same time I have this voice in the back of my head that I should anyway, that I should WANT to want to make some fun of it. But I can't be bothered. Getting old..
A weird experience I've felt lately, and I may have talked about this before, is that many of the rules I learned when I was younger don't apply anymore, presumably because my status or position has changed. I'm now in a very good grad program, working toward an eventual phd, and am way more confident with myself, compared with in the past when I was always in some transient job, intentionally wasting time or just having fun (working in a restaurant, living in Korea, or applying for grad school). In the past, I had to be a little bit of a dick to present myself optimally and it always felt like the girl wore at least 40% of the pants in any new interaction. I'm naturally a pretty nice guy, so my game was always (1)ignore, (2)be a bit of a dick, (3)get to know them,(4)slowly warm up to them.
However, now I find myself in a weird position with girls (at least the last 3 I've dated, 2 of which I should note are from tinder) where I am fully in control. If I'm a dick at all, they feel bad and get discouraged, rather than get intrigued. The girls are taking a more passive role. They accept a date invite, but don't take any initiative in moving toward that. A good friend of mine who is very perceptive said that a big part of my allure is that it's clear that I'm very particular, and I (inadvertently) put the girl in a position of wondering if she fits my criteria. I wonder if that + being a little of a dick is exciting from a guy who has no status, but from me now it is intimidating
I don't know if that illustrates what I'm trying to say very well. In Korea I had difficulty initially with the fact that guys have to take all the initiative and operate somewhat blindly as to the interest of the girl because girls are so passive. I'm experiencing a similar thing now being back in the states, but only in the past year now that I essentially have higher status. It's kind if annoying because I like that feedback. If a girl wants to see me again, I want her to take at least a little initiative. But all I'm getting lately is deference.
Is this a similar experience other guys have had after getting a more prestigious job or in some other way achieving higher social status? It could just be a fluke of the last 3 girls I've met, but something tells me it's not. It could also be a symptom of the fact that I can and should be seeking higher value women now that my value has gone up, rather than bottomfeeding off tinder (that's obvious).
Problem is, there are no fucking girls still single who are around my age. Any worthwhile smart girl is engaged at my age.
3 minutes...why drag it out...i usually get that part over in the first 15 seconds, after they get in the car
I come for the train wreck stories; I stay for j49's one-liners
