The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

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Mist

Mist

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Jackie Treehorn_sl said:
Not a "girl who broke your heart" issue, but I guess this fits into the thread for lack of a better place. We didn't get close enough for any heartbreak.

I went out with this woman for a few weeks recently. Early 30's, very nice style and clothes, petite, great skin, very pretty face ( but a bit skinnier than I like women to be honest.) She has a four year degree and a good job. Very outwardly kind and empathetic, we went to a few dinners, some cultural this and that, a show, walked around the city sometimes showing each other things, and so on. A good time was had by all, lots of communication in between dates, positive vibes. Ended up in bed a couple of times in the last week, everything was fine. More than fine, even, she seemed elated and gave off obvious hints I was doing everything right. So, I was digging this whole thing pretty well.

I sent her a text, nothing out of the ordinary. She replies back two hours later very curtly and with no explanation "I'm not really feeling things with you, and you text too much." So, I was like ooookay. Bear in mind she initiated communication more than I did, so I know that wasn't true. I consider myself really good at keeping communication even-keeled with the other person and not being overbearing. So I thought to myself that's a weird thing to say when things were seemingly going so well. I was almost more bemused by it than saddened. I asked her why she felt that way and if I said or did something wrong, and she replied back with the same thing.

Here's where shit gets weird. Normally, given the information, I'd Google-fu the shit out of someone as soon as possible, but for whatever reason, I hadn't got to it yet with her. So I Google her full name. It finds an old Myspace account. Old Myspace account name is an internet nickname. I Google her nickname...what do I find? Forums where she discusses having borderline personality disorder spanning back several years. Fuck's sake! Everything was too good to be true. I confirmed it was her, talking about the city she lives in, correct details, and it was a really unique moniker.

In a roundabout way, I confronted her with it without saying I found out she had it, in an e-mail. She responded back "I have no such thing! You shouldn't accuse me of that, don't write me again, blah blah blah." Then she said "never contact me again." An hour later: "I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have told me I have BPD, you should have asked," along with some other stuff. Said once again: "This will be my last message to you." I responded back, paraphrasing from a longer e-mail, which I wrote very kindly: "I understand, sorry for accusing you of having BPD, if you'd ever like to talk about it, feel free to e-mail me."

So a few days pass with no contact. Surprise! I see an e-mail from her again, after being told twice she wouldn't contact me again.

"I received a notification someone has been trying to access my gmail account. I don't know if it was you, but please stop if you are, because it's creepy and inappropriate. Sorry if you aren't the one doing it, I apologize, and please disregard this message if so."

I very calmly told her "I don't even know your gmail address, ergo I have no way to attempt such a thing, nor would I if I could." Which is true, I don't even know her gmail address.

Reading about BPD this weekend (I had only heard of it before) I found out it is a hallmark of BPD people to just flip on you for no reason, and to make accusations out of the clear blue.

Oy. What an interesting ride that was. I somehow don't think she'll stay away, either. Looking back while knowing now she has BPD I can sort of pick up on things I missed the first time around. For instance, I don't think she's ever had a long term relationship before, for obvious reasons. Made some hints about trust issues and other things too, but I had at first dismissed them as typical stuff women say.
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You're probably crazier than she is.

I'm gonna stop reading this thread now.
 
iannis

iannis

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Why? See how the other half lives. Don't run away, he's not even being mean!

This is a judgement free area. Find yourself a girlfriend (c'mon, it can't be a barren desert out there) and regale us with a unique take on "bitches be CRAZY".
 
T

The Master

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My sister had BPD, I'd never encourage anyone to have an intimate relationship with someone who has it. Her life has been insane.

Do people really do this? Google names of people you're dating? I don't have a middle name and have a pretty common first and last so it'd be nigh impossible to find anything on me I think, but I've dated a lot of women and never Googled any of them.
 
Sir Funk

Sir Funk

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If you don't google them how are you going to "coincidentally" have the same interests and other things in common? C'mon, this is female manipulation 101, people! It's right next to sending them flowers in your manipulative toolbox.
 
Jackie Treehorn

Jackie Treehorn

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The Master_sl said:
My sister had BPD, I'd never encourage anyone to have an intimate relationship with someone who has it. Her life has been insane.

Do people really do this? Google names of people you're dating? I don't have a middle name and have a pretty common first and last so it'd be nigh impossible to find anything on me I think, but I've dated a lot of women and never Googled any of them.
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Oh, come now! Everyone does this. Even my last long term relationship admitted Googling me. I also have a super common first and last name (example: top 5 surname in the English speaking world.) She even lamented the fact she couldn't find anything about me. She was, as far as I could tell, one of two people in the world with her first/last name combo.

This BPD woman I'm talking about, has a weird spelling of a Polish? last name, and a less than common first name, so she was the only one who came up in Google. Just Googling her last name alone brings up her family in the first page of results.

You say your sister "had" BPD? I didn't think it was really curable, or perhaps just the wrong wording on your part. Has she ever sustained a relationship? I find the psychology of it fascinating, from a distance.

Sir Funk_sl said:
If you don't google them how are you going to "coincidentally" have the same interests and other things in common? C'mon, this is female manipulation 101, people! It's right next to sending them flowers in your manipulative toolbox.
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Now that I'd never do. I'm genuinely interested in women with shared interests. I also tend to meet women organically through activities, so we already know we have something in common anyway. Flowers though, come on, of course...by the way, can't do better than sending her mom flowers for birthdays / appreciation for the first time you meet and have dinner, etc.
 
T

The Master

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I'm assuming she still has it, I don't talk to my family. For me they are past tense. She sort of bounced around from one guy to another. She dated Eric Clapton for a while and turned down a marriage proposal from him. She ended up with some white trash hick in the south and now has two kids I think? Or did. I don't know how their marriage is going, how old the kids are, or anything really.
 
D

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Severity of most mental illnesses naturally decline starting around age 20, and continue declining into old age. BPD is definitely one that does. Plus, certain psychosocial treatments are extremely effective for BPD. BPD is systematic so it's not correct to say someone is "cured," but many do get to a point where they no longer meet diagnostic criteria.
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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TheBeagle_sl said:
Honestly bro, after you confronting her with your googlefu results, I think it's natural for her to assume you might be the one accessing her gmail account. Looking at it from her perspective it seems like a pretty big coincidence that in the same time frame, a guy she went out on a date with confronts her with her with some details about her personal life he learned by 'hacking my internetz' and then a short time later, her gmail acct gets hacked.

Obviously we all know how to googlefu, but your average hot chick with minimal interwebz experience probably thinks you are some kind of elite hacker to be able pull up all that info so easily.
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Or maybe shes crazy and lying and doing that thing crazy people do to keep someone theyve scarred off in their lives still.
 
Jackie Treehorn

Jackie Treehorn

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The Master_sl said:
I'm assuming she still has it, I don't talk to my family. For me they are past tense. She sort of bounced around from one guy to another. She dated Eric Clapton for a while and turned down a marriage proposal from him. She ended up with some white trash hick in the south and now has two kids I think? Or did. I don't know how their marriage is going, how old the kids are, or anything really.
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Goddamn, Eric Clapton? Really? Shitty about your family dynamic.

Big Phoenix_sl said:
Or maybe shes crazy and lying and doing that thing crazy people do to keep someone theyve scarred off in their lives still.
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To be honest, the exact first thing I thought when I read that was "She's using any attempt she can to talk to me again, despite the fact she's said "I won't send you another message," twice.

Time will tell if she contacts again. Will report if so.
 
Mist

Mist

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iAnus_sl said:
Why? See how the other half lives. Don't run away, he's not even being mean!

This is a judgement free area. Find yourself a girlfriend (c'mon, it can't be a barren desert out there) and regale us with a unique take on "bitches be CRAZY".
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I only clicked on this thread because the nick was a Big Lebowski reference.

Bitches be crazy and I have no interest in dating anyone. At least not until my mom finally decides to hurry up and die.
 
A

Antarius

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Sorry, I need to try to save this thread, just in case someone in the future might need it for advice...

My sex life is really fucked up right now. I'm hitting up pof, tinder, and okcupid pretty hard... I can't actually get a single "normal" woman to agree to a date or anything, but yet somehow I was able to get this 18 year old crazy chick with a banging body into bed... And then she goes cold on me right afterward, stops responding to my texts and stuff, I basically got used for sex... I guess... I don't know if I should even complain. This is 3 weeks after I made out a couple times with a 22 year old virgin (who told me no when I reached into her pants and then cut off all contact with me even though I stopped right away, I'm guessing I shoulda did the louis c.k. bit about rape), also with an amazing body, far hotter than any women I'd ever had previously. My game obviously has some SERIOUS flaws in it, because I actually have a pretty successful initial response rate... Like I've probably messaged 150 chicks in the past 2 months, and gotten at least 30 conversations out of it, maybe 30 additional responses that led to no conversation... but out of that... I've only actually met 2 women, and only 1 of them got me sex. The worst part is, I'm not even sure what I'm doing wrong, I'd say, looking over my messages, maybe I'm trying too hard to come on strong/sexual, and not been chill/relaxed enough... fuck I wish I knew. Maybe I'm just failing too hard at rules #1 and #2



So I started seeing prostitutes again, fuck my life. Probably 10 times over the last 3 weeks. You can tell she's a classy girl by the way she giving the bird to the camera.
rrr_img_74016.jpg
At one point I fucked 5 girls in 3 days
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

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You're obviously pretty god damn desperate and the women you're talking to can see that. There's nothing a woman hates more than knowing the dude she just started talking to, actually likes her.
 
Djay

Djay

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Antarius_sl said:
My game obviously has some SERIOUS flaws in it, because I actually have a pretty successful initial response rate... Like I've probably messaged 150 chicks in the past 2 months, and gotten at least 30 conversations out of it, maybe 30 additional responses that led to no conversation... but out of that... I've only actually met 2 women, and only 1 of them got me sex. The worst part is, I'm not even sure what I'm doing wrong, I'd say, looking over my messages, maybe I'm trying too hard to come on strong/sexual, and not been chill/relaxed enough... fuck I wish I knew. Maybe I'm just failing too hard at rules #1 and #2
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I got probably around the same percentage last year when I was really trying. I get a good chunk of responses to my opener (no, I'm not posting it here) that are obviously going nowhere. Some turn into conversations...a couple I got numbers from and started texting. First one was a school teacher I took out to dinner. I thought everything went well, but she was straightforward afterwards and said she didn't feel a connection. That's the only one of this group I respect after the fact. One was a whale that was using pictures from years ago. (She was dumb as a rock...only reason I asked her out was because she was smoking hot before she put on 100 pounds, so I sent her home pretty fast.) One girl was in and out of town...she "started seeing someone" after our first date. Last girl...I actually thought we had a good date and clicked...talked after about a second date which she agreed to, then...she just went completely cold. I kinda stopped trying at that point. So obviously I'm making a bad first impression somehow, too.

I never ended up going with the prostitute angle, though.
 
Chanur

Chanur

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What Sutekeh said. It reeks of desperation and need. I cannot imagine needing it bad enough to go to a hooker. Not worth the dick rot and aids.
 
Hatorade

Hatorade

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Arcaus_sl said:
Huh, maybe meeting girls on sites/apps used for casual sex doesn't turn in to meaningful relationships after all....
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Lol I was just going to post that, try your local activities planner or whatever gets you out there in a social environment.
 
Famm

Famm

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Antarius can't seem to stop seeking to get his freak on is all. He's like J49 but with the conflict of also desiring a meaningful relationship at the same time. Didn't he just lose that girl he really liked so he could go hook up with some random ex strange action?
 
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