The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

Vim_sl said:

Anyone have experience dating PhD students? If you do, or don't - whatever, see if you can chime in. This is a long one so. I spoilered.

Spoiler

So I moved cross country several months ago for school. I left a relationship back home, one which up till' recently, was counting on having her move up with me in less than a year. Well, that fizzled up and even though we're on good terms and we want to be together, we're sort of realizing we're being forced to take a pause on that. I decided to take advantage of the certainty in that and play the field a bit. We've talked about it and determined it is better that we don't really talk about what we do. So yea...

Fast forward a bit and I've been in class for about 2 months. I graduated in February, by the way, and I am doing another bachelor's in engi. I'm also 13*2 = X, but don't look it at all, I seriously look a lot younger. To say all the interested poontang is overwhelming, is an understatement. However, I am taking it easy and scoping it out slowly. Still debating whether I should cut out the 18 and 19 year olds, however interested they are, but like I said that is up for debate.

Before I started school I had some bar hook ups, but I wasn't really interested or on my best (distracted) to follow up. After school started, I got pretty anxious or overwhelmed because before school started, the pickings were pretty slim since I wasn't really interacting with many people - was focused on finding a place, finding a job and getting the school stuff in order. When school started it was a overload for sure. Not only that, since this is a complete different major from my first, the learning curve anxiety kicked in. Now, I got that under control, but I need a balance - I can't just be eating books if you know what I mean, and I sure's hell don't want to get into anything serious. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Anyways, after getting some names and numbers I got a little discouraged by the age difference of all of my potentials and decided to get on some dating sites - thinking these people are less likely to beat around the bush and I can be way more efficient in terms of getting some ass, maybe even a dependable booty call or two. Cause that's all I really want.
So a few weeks into January, a girl checks me out on one of the sites and I don't really find the picture or profile attractive enough to bother, so I don't. Few days later, she messages me and because she mentioned some pretty rare common interests and experiences I decide to play along. We chat up a storm, exchange facebook, exchange emails and #'s. She says she'd like to meet up, but implicitly leaves it up to me to set it up, as in she really didn't. We both make it clear that we're interested in meeting each other, so I, nervously (never done this online crap), setup a date for the next day (weekend). She confirms.

We'll obviously she was way hotter in person. The date went without a hitch, no awkward moments, nothing but fluid conversation and definitely a lot of attraction. To be fair, the most stimulating conversation I've had. Not bad for my first date - always met girls via friends at parties and such. This was also the first older girl I've been on a date with, so that made me a little nervous, but nothing too bad. So after the date I walk her home and she lets me in. I find the first place to sit, cause I am fucking exhausted and just sit there kinda awkwardly (we both had a few drinks before) plus I really didn't know where to go from there since I kinda expected the whole kiss goodnight type thing and that's it, not be let in and shit. She stares at me for awhile and then says: lets watch some TV. Well, needless to say the only TV in her house is in her bedroom, so we both hop on her bed and she tries to find something. 2nd base for about an hour, hour and a half. Before it started we kinda new we weren't going to fuck, but I guess there was room for it. Anyways, after that she mentions she has a lot to do tomorrow and I panic, get up and start picking up my shit to leave. Make out a little more and I bolt with a fucking grin on my face. We clearly both had fun.

I texted a day after (weekday), cause fuck it, I don't like the conventional rules and we go back and forth. I'm thinking hey, that shit that happened is at least a green light for another date you know? So I tell her I'd like to see her again, blah, blah, blah. She agrees, says we should go out or hang out at her place or w/e, but that shes REALLY busy with school and that'll it will be hard to find some free time. Fine. I decide to play it safe and text at longer intervals (week, week and a half), shes still receptive but no chicken dinner. After awhile of that I remind her of what I told her on our date night after I left her house, that if need be I can "bend over backwards for her" to meet up.* Now the reason I said that is, well, because she is a PhD student and she just had surgery on one knee, her other knee is busted too. So her mobility is some what limited, I'm thinking... After some more texting she says she doesn't want me doing stuff like that while shes is busy with work. Starts apologizing for responding late and promising she will let me know when she is free. I don't really pay much attention so I just tell her I won't TEXT you anymore till I know for sure you aren't busy and that she needs to let me know if she wants to hang out etc. A week after that I give in and message her via dating site with a brief: Just saying hi! hope all is well and that school isn't driving you too crazy... She responds saying she meant to contact but shes been really busy blah blah blah, she might travel that weekend, etc. So I take advantage and tell her I won't be around cause I'm going to a nearby city for the weekend so I won't be around, but I ask her somethings - she never responded.

Anyways, that was some background. Fast forward again 4 weeks

So some extra info on her is that well she is a PhD student about to finish really soon, shes one of those top of the class students with all sorts of awards, committees, grants and responsibilities. So I totally buy the being almost impossibly busy during the week, and sometimes the weekend.

During all that, I've been keeping my options open - as always - and have a few things lined up, albeit younger. My problem is I can't stop thinking about her and I don't want to fucking creep her out. So I've decided to not contact her for a awhile, if at all, till she contacts me. I'm usually really upfront and if you don't like it fuck it, but I guess I can't really do that with this chick.

I'm pretty sure you all will say, go date the girls you have lined up and try to turn them into booty calls so you don't dwell on this chick anymore - which will most likely happen as soon as I find a dependable one. And I will most certainly do that... But I guess what I am asking is for advice on handling this chick the right way and if you think I fucked up somewhere.

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