The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

You're missing the point of what I said though. If you actually want to give a shit, not doing such is adjustment just to get the result you want to get.

Famm_sl said:

The real trick is to actually stop giving so much of a shit, not just playacting that you don't.

Click to expand...

Yeah, pretty sure that's what it boils down to. From now on though, I'm never giving a chick my google chat account.

Dumar_sl said:

You're missing the point of what I said though. If you actually want to give a shit, not doing such is adjustment just to get the result you want to get.

Click to expand...

I can give a shit without givng too much of a shit to the point that its unhealthy for myself and the relationship. Guys fall into that mode far too easily, and fall far too hard as a result when things turn on them. It's not about wanting to care or not, its about growing to learn how best to care and how to temper your emotional responses so that they are channeled in the healthiest way for you, her and as a couple.

Dumar_sl said:

words

Click to expand...

I really like this post. It's a good summary of the "be yourself" vs "play the game" argument. But it is not a dichotomy. As Famm said, your personality is, to a huge extent, learned. However, by adulthood it is largely static. That doesn't mean that new behaviors can't be learned, but it does mean that you can't wildly change who you are to fit some archetype of "attractive male."

However, I argue that, by playing the game, putting up this fake persona to attract girls, you are in effect teaching yourself adaptive behaviors that willbecome part of who you are. For every neg you throw or "body rock" away because it said to do it in a book, each time it works you are reinforcing that behavior to yourself. It's operant conditioning. Over time, that becomes your default reaction, and suddenly it's now "you." A lot of the stuff may still seem artificial to you after a while, but I'm sure some of it is compatible with your "real" personality, and those things you can integrate. For example, PUAs have/had some line about horoscopes but I get angry at even the mention of horoscopes, so I could never use that naturally. On the other hand, I'm a teaser and like a little back and forth, so that type of stuff I can naturally incorporate. I would argue that even the stuff that is the complete opposite of your personality teaches you intrinsic lessons about optimal behavior that you can naturally incorporate into your personality.

This all goes on the assumption that you are using PUA stuff as a temporary measure. That's how I see it. A training, so to speak. The PUAs will say "become a master, then go natural." I say use it to get to a point you're satisfied with, then go natural, because few ever truly become a master, and every bit of time spent on some artificial formula is, to some extent, time lost.

PigBenis_sl said:

You know the whole availability thing is interesting to me. I was actually talking with my old man about this the other day. He was telling me when he was "courting" my mom he would go days without calling her. Now that's not really news or anything, but I think in this day and age it's a bit more difficult to pull that off with so many different avenues or communication, at least imo. Case and point, with the suicide girl we talk on google chat, fbook messages, texts, skype, etc. etc. She knows when I'm like working throughout the day when I'm on google chat that if I don't respond to her it's not me not being available, but it's like why didn't you respond. The same goes with texts and everything. To me trying to go a day without responding doesn't look unavailable, just not interested / playing a game.

I think immediately from the get-go these communication barriers need to be set and if you try after the fact to play the less available card it just looks like you're not interested.

Click to expand...

Just because you're technically available doesn't mean you have to be available, imo. If someone texts me a lot and I get tired of responding, I just don't. If they ask why, I kind of ignore the question because I feel justified in not always being accountable to someone. "Why couldn't you answer?" is an intrusive question for anyone except a spouse/family. It's none of your business. I'm sure that'd go over like a lead balloon with suicide girl though.

oh god the midget.

e-fukt, thank you for existing. It's like japan except with white people.

Dumar_sl said:

I'm about to make a (very long) post that should hopefully provide insight and real, meaningful advice to most people in this thread. I've touched upon what I'm about to go into numerous times here and elsewhere, but this time it should be more complete.

Click to expand...

How many hot chicks did you smash and was it enjoyable enough to date any of them for a while? Thanks for the thesis but what were the results of dating these chicks, give us some individual stories.

Ok so there is a girl i've started talking to (I think she's a 10, doubt anyone would rate her below an 8) that I work with and like. I'm not good with people in general (extremely shy etc) but it seems like she might like me for some unknown reason. She gave me her number, asked me to hang out etc. but i'm not sure if she likes me or just wants to be friends. Anything I can do to find out without making things awkward given the work situation?

Inb4 all the comments about my looks/meth habit/virginity/gay/etc.

You're a gay meth head virgin?

Yes but i'd consider changing for this girl, is why I'm in such a quandry.

Are you really a virgin?

Post a pic of her first so we can rate your compatibility.

Don't have a pic of her but she's way out of my league (I consider myself a 5, maybe a 6 on a good day lol). No i'm not a virgin, have only been with one girl tho (we were engaged for a while before it ended).

Don't you work at Taco Bell? What is she like 14 or something?

No, I said the taco bell diet is affordable. I work at a restaurant, yes, but it's not fast food and i'm not Gaige or Samdaman kthx.

Well what about Facebook, surely she has pics all over that shit.

Also, fuck it, since she's not 14 go hang out with her and see what happens. Depending on how she acts you might figure out more if she's DTF. Just asking you to do shit outside of work is generally a good sign I'd say, but it is weird if she's really that hot and wants to hang out withyou, I agree. Maybe she's only a 9-10 in YOUR eyes, and objectively she isn't that out of reach. Or maybe she just thinks you have good drugs. Or maybe she thinks guys who look like you are hiding a giant dong. This girl's not very bright is she?

Yeah I guess it could be any of that. Too bad I don't have the good drugs or a giant dong tho =/.

lol

If she is interested, you're gonna fuck it up because you think you couldn't ever land a girl like her. Convince yourself she's secretly a nazi or a man or likes jews or something so you won't think she's so out of your league.

A wise man once told me, many years ago when I was frettin over some broad: "Just whip it out. Either she starts sucking it or she laughs. Either way you know where you stand." That man was Jesus

Dabamf_sl said:

or a man

Click to expand...

I asked out a trap once (didn't know until much later). True story.