TrollfaceDeux
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The Jew Haggle Thread
- Thread starter ZyyzYzzy
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Zapatta
Krugman's Fax Machine
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I thought election ballot pic proved he was a Mud. What flavor of brown wasn't ever deciphered. He was a Mid Rare not a well done.
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pharmakos
soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
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this. definitely haggle on cable and internet. not only are the "normal" rates for chumps, so are the "deals." you can really dig with most of these companies.
Big_w_powah
Trakanon Raider
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I used to lol at people who paid full price when I worked for Sprint..Hell, the cell phone guys in the stores even used to use the "Get this phone and I'll give you a trick for lowering your price; Call and ask for retentions in a week. Say you're pissed about the service and want to leave"..And fuckin' retentions would offer goddamn stupidly low rates. "Oh, that $150 monthly bill? How about we make it $45, and at the same time make your texting plan unlimited on all the lines, plus doubling your data?"
Its worth noting I worked for Sprint a LONG time ago.
Sprint is also the company that got pissed at me cause I fixed people's issues and made 'em happy without having to give out money. "You went all month and averaged $0.40 per call. You should be giving away at least ten times that per call"....
Fucking started off the call with "Hey, this is Sprint. Want $5 off your bill for the reason your calling today?" after that.
Its worth noting I worked for Sprint a LONG time ago.
Sprint is also the company that got pissed at me cause I fixed people's issues and made 'em happy without having to give out money. "You went all month and averaged $0.40 per call. You should be giving away at least ten times that per call"....
Fucking started off the call with "Hey, this is Sprint. Want $5 off your bill for the reason your calling today?" after that.
TrollfaceDeux
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Siliconemelons
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I love Jew haggling, both Jew haggle and Asian haggle are worthy skills to learn - they are to be used in different situations.
First, never be stuck were you are in fact going to buy the whatever no matter what- it is better to ask for a 100$ thing at 60$ not get it, tell them to piss off and go buy it for 100$ somewhere else... I know you think that's stupid, but its not...once you see its not - your ready to take the first step in training.
Jew tactics are very useful for services, subscriptions etc. Your cable company calls - as stated above - don't take that shit - you inconvenience them as much as you can - you TELL THEM to stop your service instantly, prorate your bill and to SEND someone to pickup THEIR stuff or your throwing it away and you want it on record they are taking responsibility for their equipment. It goes without saying, you are not there when they come the first time, you need to waste their time and prove to them they should have yielded to your requests and kept you as a customer.
Asian tactics are more useful for instant products at stores, and cars etc. You make them sell the item to you, you make them build it up to be the best - you have to always start under the radar, start uninterested and let them bait themselves - you then turn every single thing they have said against them and drive that price down you eat their bait and say OMNOM TASTY NOW GIVE ME THIS FOR WHAT I WANT- you make them invest their time in selling to you and then flip that. Only get loud if your done and ready to walk and there are other customers whom you could cause to leave their purchases also.
First, never be stuck were you are in fact going to buy the whatever no matter what- it is better to ask for a 100$ thing at 60$ not get it, tell them to piss off and go buy it for 100$ somewhere else... I know you think that's stupid, but its not...once you see its not - your ready to take the first step in training.
Jew tactics are very useful for services, subscriptions etc. Your cable company calls - as stated above - don't take that shit - you inconvenience them as much as you can - you TELL THEM to stop your service instantly, prorate your bill and to SEND someone to pickup THEIR stuff or your throwing it away and you want it on record they are taking responsibility for their equipment. It goes without saying, you are not there when they come the first time, you need to waste their time and prove to them they should have yielded to your requests and kept you as a customer.
Asian tactics are more useful for instant products at stores, and cars etc. You make them sell the item to you, you make them build it up to be the best - you have to always start under the radar, start uninterested and let them bait themselves - you then turn every single thing they have said against them and drive that price down you eat their bait and say OMNOM TASTY NOW GIVE ME THIS FOR WHAT I WANT- you make them invest their time in selling to you and then flip that. Only get loud if your done and ready to walk and there are other customers whom you could cause to leave their purchases also.
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TrollfaceDeux
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Siliconemelons
Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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both methods, jew and Asian - require planning ahead, you must always know more than those selling to you - know more options, alternatives, what others have paid etc... you must also know if your in risk of breaking your contract and any issues... don't get yourself sued.
Another test to see if you are ready to elevate yourself into one of the haggle styles...
The price for the car you want on TrueCar is 35k, the MSRP is 38k - what do you do when the salesmen has returned to you with the offer of $34,799.99
Answer
Well you should have researched on Edmunds the "invoice price" - and on Edmund FORUMS for that car find the thread that has people posting what they paid/leased etc. - you should be getting an idea of the +/- from invoice and an OTD price. Also find user forums for that car that is not on motor trend or even Edmunds, as all of them tend to eventually close down those price threads if they get out of line from the trocar/truprice whatever narrative.
For that price and their offer you should be able to get the car for 30-34k OUT THE DOOR - anywhere near 34 you should get the length of the loan in "Recommended Service" by the owners manual paid for and included in the deal - if not then at least "required" - there is a big jump between those two options, one is like oil changes, the other will hit all the complete fluid swaps and all that stupid shit that your making them pay for.
If a car price is advertised, shown, offered or told to you -- it can be lower.
For that price and their offer you should be able to get the car for 30-34k OUT THE DOOR - anywhere near 34 you should get the length of the loan in "Recommended Service" by the owners manual paid for and included in the deal - if not then at least "required" - there is a big jump between those two options, one is like oil changes, the other will hit all the complete fluid swaps and all that stupid shit that your making them pay for.
If a car price is advertised, shown, offered or told to you -- it can be lower.
If you knew all that, and were like "yeah brah, duhh" proceed onward in training to be a haggle baron, soon haggle jedi
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TrollfaceDeux
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Breakdown
Gunnar Durden
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The last two times I spent the time to haggle
1) Drunkenly arguing with a Kebab vendor in Turkey at 2 AM. Saved like 30 cents. AMERICA
2) Knocked 20 bucks off getting jerked off by an Asian Slave sex worker in Dubai
Other than that, unless dealing with a private vendor, save yourself the time.
1) Drunkenly arguing with a Kebab vendor in Turkey at 2 AM. Saved like 30 cents. AMERICA
2) Knocked 20 bucks off getting jerked off by an Asian Slave sex worker in Dubai
Other than that, unless dealing with a private vendor, save yourself the time.
Jewed pool table down from 1k to 950.
I feel like such a poor jew job could get me excommunicated
I feel like such a poor jew job could get me excommunicated
Siliconemelons
Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
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How far into the deal making process is that time? the salesmen has been off the floor for at least 1hr - depending on volume and how the cycle is this "buy" that is turning around out the door has cost you more than a few moments of your day. Of course there are a tons of factors when it comes to cars... but 95/100 times there is another dealer within 10-min drive, there are online sales people that do more than bend over backwards for sales all day and night long responding to simple emails vs these hour long processes.
I wish more and more people would walk off car deals for "only a few hundred $" etc. - and again this goes back to my first point- You should buy the product for the same / more somewhere else then buying it for a failed negotiated rate. So you tell me, after 2 hours of car buying back and forth that I can get it for 34, and I wanted 32 - I will would get up and leave - if you tell me "I don't want your money" as I leave, and wont budge and meet half way at 33.. then yes, I will go buy it for 34 from your competitor- and guess how long that sale would take? not nearly as long - hell it most likely could be done before I pull on the log via email.
Again, this level of haggling is not for everyone. But just think, you COULD have gotten the trim higher on the car you bought for the same price, if you put in for effort... to some - they don't care, to some they do... its for those that want more, for less regardless of why it should be less, it should be less because you want it for less.
TrollfaceDeux
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But Toyota A won't be giving you 34k. Toyota B won't give you 34k. Toyota C wants your credit card and deposit. They want you to sign a commitment.
You panic. You run.
You are revealed for who you are.
A loser.
Not you particularly. But the shopper.
I remember a customer who came in asking for my best price. I ask him his credit card and driver license. He panics. I just show him online price build. He goes home promising to return with his wife.
He sends me an email complaining about the fact that he had never explained such a thing before. I explain to him the process and promise to give him good price with commitment. He continues to complain that he wasn't sure and he is disappointed.
I give no fuck and tell him to fuck off.
He gets nothing.
Siliconemelons
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Well its Toyota, I never buy Toyota because that's how they operate, they are MSRP - whatever bone the company incentives may happen.
Toyota has built a hard line on price- that's their business - and just like apple they both do the same thing, rely on their mass amounts of sheep that buy apple/Toyota no matter what - they have been fooled into only expecting MSRP they think every product revision is a huge revelation from God and the best product on earth. Go ahead, keep on keep on- its working and you all are making money, just not mine. And I am fine with that. Took my mother in law shopping for her car, did the 3 Asians Toyota, Honda and Nissan - Toyota told her straight up, no haggling what so ever the price is the price- she didn't bother getting in the car and left.
Sure she and I are your 1% and all others bend over for the company. As I said, keep on doing your thing.
Car for car you will always get more from Honda or Nissan because they negotiate. All MSRPs and Invoices are already aligned together for market conditions- so the sedans are all ~1k MSRP of each other- but knowing you can get 3-4k off a Honda or Nissan easy but not Toyota? why the fuck do people buy them? OH YEAH TOYOTA.
Apple and Toyota had their time of great innovation and quality - they marketed the fuck out of that, at the perfect time and IMO now are sitting on their butts doing jack and shit and taking in the money hand over fist with no innovation or work.
As a Toyota sales person you are trained and know this is how it is, people just walk in and hand you money for the car they know they want - and most know they cant negotiate. You just LOL and make fun of the ones that don't and send them on their way. I as a consumer already know this and never consider Toyota/Lexus an option when considering new.
Toyota has built a hard line on price- that's their business - and just like apple they both do the same thing, rely on their mass amounts of sheep that buy apple/Toyota no matter what - they have been fooled into only expecting MSRP they think every product revision is a huge revelation from God and the best product on earth. Go ahead, keep on keep on- its working and you all are making money, just not mine. And I am fine with that. Took my mother in law shopping for her car, did the 3 Asians Toyota, Honda and Nissan - Toyota told her straight up, no haggling what so ever the price is the price- she didn't bother getting in the car and left.
Sure she and I are your 1% and all others bend over for the company. As I said, keep on doing your thing.
Car for car you will always get more from Honda or Nissan because they negotiate. All MSRPs and Invoices are already aligned together for market conditions- so the sedans are all ~1k MSRP of each other- but knowing you can get 3-4k off a Honda or Nissan easy but not Toyota? why the fuck do people buy them? OH YEAH TOYOTA.
Apple and Toyota had their time of great innovation and quality - they marketed the fuck out of that, at the perfect time and IMO now are sitting on their butts doing jack and shit and taking in the money hand over fist with no innovation or work.
As a Toyota sales person you are trained and know this is how it is, people just walk in and hand you money for the car they know they want - and most know they cant negotiate. You just LOL and make fun of the ones that don't and send them on their way. I as a consumer already know this and never consider Toyota/Lexus an option when considering new.
Toyota tundra was the best deal on town on a full size truck a few years ago, haggling or not.
Car salesmen are always losers, can't wait until musk rapes the system.
Car salesmen are always losers, can't wait until musk rapes the system.
Siliconemelons
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I will give props when its due, the Tundra they threw money and resources at that with a singular objective - be better than GMC-Ford-Dodge -- and they did
TrollfaceDeux
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Actually it is Kia I sold. Toyota sometimes sell their vehicle below cost and I myself got contact where I can get $2000 off on SUVS and $1500 off sedans on top of manufacturer incentive. It is funny because Toyota is a volume manufacturer. They sell cars below cost if they need to meet their target. Kia is not, which is why discounts are already applied through rebates and manufacturer bonuses.
Nissans sell their vehicle super cheap but they fucking suck. Altima is literally a revision of revision and their shitty compact sedan Sentra is one of the worst buy you can make.