The My Mother is poor and dying thread

BigDirty · Dec 31, 2016

Hey people , my mother has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and its really hard for me to support us both , just gona drop my go fund me here incase anyone wants to give a hand.

Feel free to ask me any questions and stuff , or shaw my thread if you think im an asshole , I had to try tho

Thank you

iannis · Dec 31, 2016

I'm sorry to hear it man. I really am.

This might get moved or deleted. It's really a hard thing. We don't exactly have an appropriate place for stuff like this, because obviously we don't want there to be an appropriate place for stuff like this.

And in your place I would do the exact same fucking thing. Momma got cancer? Board etiquette be damned.

Uber Uberest · Dec 31, 2016

After checking his Facebook page, I'm not buying it.

Mrs. Gravy · Jan 1, 2017

BigDirty Look here for resources: Cancer, Financial, Assistance, Help, Patients, Information, Resources | CancerCare

*edit...because it really is a more appropriate way to go if you are telling the awful truth.

TrollfaceDeux · Jan 1, 2017

What kind of hallucinogen would you recommend.

moonarchia · Jan 1, 2017

Even if this isn't a scam this isn't the place to post it. 1) You're doxxing yourself. 2) Most people here aren't going to give a shit. 3) Letting this kind of shit go starts a precedent we don't want: ie people coming here for handouts.

ZyyzYzzy · Jan 1, 2017

moonarchia said:
Even if this isn't a scam this isn't the place to post it. 1) You're doxxing yourself. 2) Most people here aren't going to give a shit. 3) Letting this kind of shit go starts a precedent we don't want: ie people coming here for handouts.

This. Unless you want xboxes and prescription drugs , you're barking up the wrong tree

AngryGerbil · Jan 1, 2017

I'm okay with this being here. If it becomes a problem then it becomes a problem, but I don't think a single thread is a problem.

I don't know you as a poster BigDirty but like Iannis said I also can get why you'd try everything in your power, including asking on a board you aren't that active on. If I thought this was a scam I'd shaw it or delete it but I think you may be sincere.

I'd like to know what the other mods thought about this. If we were suddenly inundated with with money grubbers with fake sick moms, we'd have a problem for sure. But one thread? Meh, I can't fault the guy for trying. Not sure how much response he'll get but if he seems legit, I suppose it can't hurt to ask.

But on the other hand, Millie and Ravvenn both tried to scam this board with fake pity stories, so I wouldn't be totally heartbroken if we just put the kibosh on the entire practice altogether.

kegkilla · Jan 1, 2017

Sympathies for the OP but I think allowing these type of posts sets a bad precedent.

Cad · Jan 1, 2017

Do not post fucking gofundme's. Sorry about your mom.

TrollfaceDeux · Jan 1, 2017

Just give her one of the trip drugs you use

BigDirty · Jan 1, 2017

Its not a scam , but idk delete the tread if you like , i cant seem to figure out how to. i tend to lurk mostly , posted more on the old forums. i was just feeling desperate at the time i made the thread , sorry

BoozeCube · Jan 1, 2017

Sorry to hear about your mother, and honestly I doubt everyone think this is a scam. More that it's not really appropriate for the site. If you are looking for a place to vent, or tell your story, looking for advice, then great I am sure plenty of people would be a ear to listen. Go fund me type stuff though is better left to other places.

Frenzied Wombat · Jan 1, 2017

Post on Facebook, as you'll have better success with people that know you. If you were an active participator on the forum over the years whereby you had forged friendships and were a familiar face to many, it would probably be better received. Sorry about your mom, cancer is horrible.

Noodleface · Jan 1, 2017

Sorry to hear about your mom bud. Good luck.

As for scam or not, that's the issue behind every gofundme and not singular to this one instance.

Hoss · Jan 1, 2017

BigDirty , we went through something similar with my grandmother. We easily found both a nursing home and a hospice place who would take care of her for her social security check. Once we realized we couldn't care for her ourselves, it was almost no more money out of our pockets.

Hatorade · Jan 5, 2017

I worked at a Hospice thinking I would eventually become either a RN or a veterinarian. Hospice care is so terrible you are better off taking her somewhere to get euthanized.

The only people that got any amount of daily care are those that had family visit almosy everyday.

So yeah they take their social security check and essentially do nothjng with it in terms of patient care.

Note this was in FL so other states may not be so bad.

Hoss · Jan 5, 2017

What they're supposed to do is keep them drugged up and comfortable so they can die in peace. I don't expect that to require a lot of attention for most patients. Are you saying they didn't even keep the patients comfortable? I mean, once you're in hospice, you probably don't even need food or diaper changes. Granny was in a coma the entire time she was in hospice.

Now, my grandpa basically got home hospice care. My aunt had the drugs to keep him sedated, and someone came by to help her (I'm sure she was the one who had access to the drugs). She changed his diaper regularly, but I think she only did it to see if his kidneys were still working. He wasn't in a coma, but she could have put him into one with drugs if she wanted.

Nursing homes are a different story. They should be getting care there and we all know they often get neglected.

Hatorade · Jan 5, 2017

Every case is going to be different, I just saw to many terrible things. I quit the day I came in after a "mandatory" three days off because I already worked 70 hours that week only to find a very old man dead for at least two days, his chart said he was given meds but rigor mortis was already mostly gone and he was starting to smell like decaying meat. So a RN came in updated his chart ,and either didn't even look at him or did and ignored him.

Mrs. Gravy · Jan 5, 2017

We had at home hospice for G's mom (and some respite hospice stays for her at the local hospital) and we had hospice in home for G. Both were great for what they were. RN care a few days a week for a few hours, nurse aide care for the other days also just for a few hours, massage therapy a couple of times a month, social work visits as needed and on call support 24/7. I am fortunate that I could do most of the personal care and also that I could work from home, have a ton of family help or just take off to stay with them. I don't know how other people do it.

I know some of the SNFs where hospice agents may go, do not do a great job unless a family member visits often. The private stand alone specialized hospice facilities that I know in my area (St. Louis MO) charge way more than for just SSA benefits but they are also a lot nicer than the SNFs.

The My Mother is poor and dying thread

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