LA is the definition of urban wasteland. Southern California sucks in general so if you absolutely have to live in California, look for a place in the Bay Area.
I'm not a fan of LA traffic either, but I've never understood the attraction to the Bay Area either. Unless you're way on the outskirts you're going to be paying even more than LA rates for rent/mortgage, which also means you'll probably be driving into work, and if you don't think that traffic is insane then I don't know what to tell you.
Sure, if you make a shitload of money and live right in the city and don't mind walking/public transportation everywhere, it is probably pretty cool, assuming you don't need very many days over 80 degrees in your life. But for the average person with an average job it is even worse than LA. And if you aren't talking about living right in the city, it quickly turns into that "urban wasteland" you mentioned anyway, so what's the difference? It isn't like San Jose is some beautiful garden spot, for example.
All that being said, I wouldn't want to live in LA either, for obvious reasons. But San Diego is pretty much the best weather I've ever experienced anywhere, and all the little towns/suburbs around it have slightly less traffic than SD proper, so I'd live anywhere around there in a heartbeat. And there are plenty of places around the state that are pretty decent to live, they just aren't in the two areas everyone from out of state has heard of.
I live in Sacramento, and it definitely doesn't have anything "metropolitan" to offer, and it gets pretty damn hot during the summer, but as far as somewhere to live it really isn't bad at all if you can handle hot summers. The rest of the year it is much milder than most other places, not nearly as expensive as LA or SF, and overall just pretty generic. I'm not saying come live here, but if your only two choices in California are LA and SF, you're really ruling out a ton of area. I mean, it's a big fucking state! Except for humidity or frozen tundra (although plenty of places do get snow), you can pretty much find any North American climate you want to live in if you look hard enough. And another climate could be just a few hours away.
So if you don't have to live in SF or LA, don't limit yourself to just those places.
EDIT: But don't consider Stockton or Fresno! Or pretty much any of those "central valley" cities south of Stockton. They are soul-crushingly boring. If you're in that area of the state, your best bet is sticking to the coast. But Stockton and Fresno in particular suck balls. Ask anyone, they'll say the same thing.