Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night with a sinking feeling in your stomach, overwhelmed by the undeniable truth that no matter how much surgery you get and how much makeup you wear, you will never be a woman?
Not trying to be a dick, genuinely curious about how trannies survive day to day life without being overwhelmed by existential dread.
Short answer is no.
To make that both relatable and give perspective, realizing I'll never be a cis-woman gives me as much worry as perhaps you or other average joes worry that you'll never be a movie star, world-touring musician, president, young again, etc etc. I can objectively say, "I'll never be cis... I am, was, and always will be
only and
just a transgendered woman" but you have to understand that's not how I feel and it's not how I'm treated.
To make it easier for you to understand... you can say to yourself and it be 100% true and objective that you are
only and
just a small, carbon-based life form living on a rock that rotates around a star with a relatively short life-span. But that fact / thought doesn't govern your every day life experience, if you know what I mean. We ARE that, yes, but our lives are so much richer when you weigh the everyday experiences of living, loving, laughing... just being human and all the complex emotions that come with that.
That's what it's like for me. I can nod, and say to you, true, I'll never be cis... but my life experience day to day is no different than any other woman's experience. I'm treated like a woman by everyone I meet. I don't view my soul (or whatever you'd like to call it) as masculine at all; I'm a female soul that finally has an outer shell to match... and it feels fucking incredible, to be honest.
Vanessa . You've proved you got balls. May your time in this community lead to few rickshawings and much angst at tanoomba!
