Vanessa's Tranny AMA Blog Thread

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Vanessa

Vanessa

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Sorry about the self confidence thing. You can't buy that in a store or get a surgeon to affix some to you unfortunately.

This all takes serious time and effort as I'm sure you're getting quite familiar with these days. One thing I wish I could tell my pre-transition self that I couldn't have seen coming is how much of this process is internal. 90% of people in my life (sans family, friends, and coworkers) only see me when I go out as this one -thing-, this one entity that I am now. It takes a lot of work both on the outside (obv, to pass well) and on the inside (to live a mentally balanced life coping with this too) to get here. ...and I can't lie, it feels really amazing now. Everything finally feels like it fits into place, like my life and body and my mind and my soul are all kinda running on the same fuel now.

Or another cheesy analogy that is appropriate:

814+-wgEHfL._SX425_.jpg


...is that for 35 years I mentally felt like I was trying to squeeze the wrong shaped blocks into the recesses, and after transitioning, all the pieces slid right on in and it's been an extremely satisfying ride. My Gender Dysphoria was cured, but I'm still a tranny... still a relative anomaly in society... so ultimately you trade one set of problems for another, but imo the new set of problems is very much the lesser of the two evils.

Many people make fun of us and while I think it's foolhardy to call us brave, or strong or all these convenient little buzzwords that people who like to be allies to trannies call us (look at all the positivity Caitlyn Jenner got around the time she was hot shit)... y'know... I'm not strong or brave but on the other side of that coin, the truth is that normal people have no. fucking. idea. how difficult a full-blown transition can be on a person.

I'm glad you're here Porkchop and I'm glad you seem to be another rational tranny amidst the FoH ranks. It'd be lulzy as shit if a Jerle or SJW snowflake tranny popped up in here but I wouldn't wish that kind of rabble on anyone to be honest LoL. Now if only we could get Morrow Morrow to come back here in good form.
 
Hoss

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Thanks to this thread i think that theoretically I'd let a tranny suck my dick. You're doing good work vanessa.
 
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Vanessa

Vanessa

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That wasn't my intention, but I'll take it as a compliment?? LoL

Curious what you mean exactly though... or more specifically, what I did that made you say "I'm okay with receiving head from a tranny now" LoL, just trying to get context so I can keep doing good work (it was the Blaire pic, wasn't it!?).

I'm going to post a new pic(s) as soon as I'm done with waking up, imbibing massive amounts of coffee, showering, getting ready, running my errands, and finally settling down on another glorious Monday off.
 
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Hoss

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Vanessa said:
Curious what you mean exactly though... or more specifically, what I did that made you say "I'm okay with receiving head from a tranny now" LoL, just trying to get context so I can keep doing good work (it was the Blaire pic, wasn't it!?).
Click to expand...

Well first off, i was drinking last night, so I'm having trouble remembering exactly what was going through my head. I do remember that the theoretical part was because I'm married and will therefore never have to make the actual choice. I think it's an incremental acceptance thing. You've shown that trannys can be saner than I thought possible.
 
latheboy

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I have a question.
Do you (vanessa or Porkchop or Slyminxy) feel like your mindset has changed since you've made the change?
I mean, do think the meds might have changed the way you think?
Not woman issues or trans or that kind of thing, more like random shit.... Did you have a hobby as a man that you don't have now, kind of thing.
 
Gamma Rays

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I like how you included Slyminxy in the group you're asking, very progressive of you.
 
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Vanessa

Vanessa

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latheboy said:
I have a question.
Do you (vanessa or Porkchop or Slyminxy) feel like your mindset has changed since you've made the change?
I mean, do think the meds might have changed the way you think?
Not woman issues or trans or that kind of thing, more like random shit.... Did you have a hobby as a man that you don't have now, kind of thing.
Click to expand...

Yes, HRT changes you mentally, not just physically. People who knew me both pre and post could testify to that. We continue to be the same person we are on a base, fundamental level. It's not going to alter your core beliefs and fundamental likes/dislikes (you don't suddenly start believing that the earth is flat) but you definitely start or stop certain things based on (anecdotally) living the life of the opposite sex. It sounds like you're looking for specifics namely hobbies that I either dropped or adopted though, so I'll focus there, but before I do, it's interesting to note that it may be hard to pinpoint what is something I could drop or adopt due to pre-transition self repression or actual psychological change due to HRT. I'll make a note on each point as to self-repression being likely or not likely:

-I drank beer and couldn't stand liquor as a dude, now I find beer far too bitter to enjoy (even lite beers) and much prefer vodka with a tasty chaser if I'm going to drink. I'll still drink a beer if that's all there is, it's just not as enjoyable as it used to be. (self-repression not likely, but possible)

-Vast increase in the interest in dolls and doll-like faces (likely simply self-repression).

-I dropped certain OCD habits that I had as a dude for some reason. This fact is actually mysterious to me as I think about it now. (self-repression not possible)

-I take better care of myself physically and care much more about my appearance and how I present to the world (likely to be self-repression).

-I picked up an interest in woodworking post transition. Which is particularly interesting because I, personally, find carpentry to feel more male oriented. (self-repression not possible)

-I lost a chunk of my physical shallowness that I harbored as a male. I find my like/dislike of someone more based on personality vs. hot or not ranking. I'm still initially shallow no doubt, but as my last ex was proof of, could overlook physical flaws much easier than before if I mesh with you. (self-repression extremely unlikely)

-I lost my musical drive. I still do music as evidenced by my YouTube channel, but as a male I was far more "driven" to create and play music, and I produced waaay more shit as a male. This is without a doubt the thing I wish I could consciously change and revert back to my old self. God I loved music pre-transition. I now only "like it bunches" This is the top aspect that I did NOT enjoy happening via transition. (self-repression not possible)

-I lost my interest in video games. I only play a Final Fantasy mobile app game nowadays, and I just hardly ever actually pop in a console game to fart around with. This change actually saddens me this could very likely simply be aging / maturing at play, I'll concede that. (self-repression not possible)

-I picked up an interest in decor. My condo is colorful, eclectic, and visually "busy" whereas pre-transition I barely kept about three or four boring looking art pictures on my walls. (likely self-repression)

-I picked up a love of pets. My mom's cat was a one-person cat. I never paid it any mind whenever I was around. Now, I absolutely love her and love animals much more. I didn't dislike animals by any means as a dude; they were more just "there" and I had indifference toward animals. I love to bond with pets now! (likely self-repression)

-I never hugged people before. I'm definitely okay with hugging now (likely self-repression).

-I hated clothes and shopping as a male and now it's fun and could spend all day shopping (unlikely self-repression).

Typing these all out, it almost sounds "forced" like I'm choosing these different facets due to social expectations or whatever, and I can definitely see someone reading this and jumping to that conclusion, but I promise they are all true and not conscious change to fit a stereotype.

nevergone said:
Question for Vanessa Vanessa and/or Porkchop Porkchop .

Drag queens: mockery or valid form of entertainment?
Click to expand...

Absolutely valid and fun to watch live actually. I can't much relate to what drives them to do this but I'd assume they just find it fun for themselves, and I think it's fun for the audience in return. Their existence doesn't offend me, feel mocking to me, or really have much in common with me other than makeup / female clothes. Our reason for wearing female clothes and makeup is different. It's loosely analogous to dog racing and dog shows. Both involve dogs, but the reasons for their existence are completely different.
 
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zzeris

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Vanessa said:
Yes, HRT changes you mentally, not just physically. People who knew me both pre and post could testify to that. We continue to be the same person we are on a base, fundamental level. It's not going to alter your core beliefs and fundamental likes/dislikes (you don't suddenly start believing that the earth is flat) but you definitely start or stop certain things based on (anecdotally) living the life of the opposite sex. It sounds like you're looking for specifics namely hobbies that I either dropped or adopted though, so I'll focus there, but before I do, it's interesting to note that it may be hard to pinpoint what is something I could drop or adopt due to pre-transition self repression or actual psychological change due to HRT. I'll make a note on each point as to self-repression being likely or not likely:

-I drank beer and couldn't stand liquor as a dude, now I find beer far too bitter to enjoy (even lite beers) and much prefer vodka with a tasty chaser if I'm going to drink. I'll still drink a beer if that's all there is, it's just not as enjoyable as it used to be. (self-repression not likely, but possible)

-Vast increase in the interest in dolls and doll-like faces (likely simply self-repression).

-I dropped certain OCD habits that I had as a dude for some reason. This fact is actually mysterious to me as I think about it now. (self-repression not possible)

-I take better care of myself physically and care much more about my appearance and how I present to the world (likely to be self-repression).

-I picked up an interest in woodworking post transition. Which is particularly interesting because I, personally, find carpentry to feel more male oriented. (self-repression not possible)

-I lost a chunk of my physical shallowness that I harbored as a male. I find my like/dislike of someone more based on personality vs. hot or not ranking. I'm still initially shallow no doubt, but as my last ex was proof of, could overlook physical flaws much easier than before if I mesh with you. (self-repression extremely unlikely)

-I lost my musical drive. I still do music as evidenced by my YouTube channel, but as a male I was far more "driven" to create and play music, and I produced waaay more shit as a male. This is without a doubt the thing I wish I could consciously change and revert back to my old self. God I loved music pre-transition. I now only "like it bunches" This is the top aspect that I did NOT enjoy happening via transition. (self-repression not possible)

-I lost my interest in video games. I only play a Final Fantasy mobile app game nowadays, and I just hardly ever actually pop in a console game to fart around with. This change actually saddens me this could very likely simply be aging / maturing at play, I'll concede that. (self-repression not possible)

-I picked up an interest in decor. My condo is colorful, eclectic, and visually "busy" whereas pre-transition I barely kept about three or four boring looking art pictures on my walls. (likely self-repression)

-I picked up a love of pets. My mom's cat was a one-person cat. I never paid it any mind whenever I was around. Now, I absolutely love her and love animals much more. I didn't dislike animals by any means as a dude; they were more just "there" and I had indifference toward animals. I love to bond with pets now! (likely self-repression)

-I never hugged people before. I'm definitely okay with hugging now (likely self-repression).

-I hated clothes and shopping as a male and now it's fun and could spend all day shopping (unlikely self-repression).

Typing these all out, it almost sounds "forced" like I'm choosing these different facets due to social expectations or whatever, and I can definitely see someone reading this and jumping to that conclusion, but I promise they are all true and not conscious change to fit a stereotype.



Absolutely valid and fun to watch live actually. I can't much relate to what drives them to do this but I'd assume they just find it fun for themselves, and I think it's fun for the audience in return. Their existence doesn't offend me, feel mocking to me, or really have much in common with me other than makeup / female clothes. Our reason for wearing female clothes and makeup is different. It's loosely analogous to dog racing and dog shows. Both involve dogs, but the reasons for their existence are completely different.
Click to expand...

Well thought out answers and some of it may be aging as you mentioned. I've also lost a lot of my interest in games which also saddens me a bit. The shallowness part is very interesting. There is an expectation in society as well as the difference in hormones so lots of nuance in this I'm sure.

Thanks for the tit pics. It had been a while...lol
 
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Bubbles

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I know this might be somewhat fucked up but I'd like to secretly feed HRT to a friend for like a month, just to see what happens.
 
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Hateyou

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Porkchop said:
Honestly, probably not. Maybe selfie or something one day. I still don't have a ton of self confidence, and on top of that, I know a few people here IRL (from 10+ years ago) and i'm sure they would notice me and I don't know if i'm ready to come out to them yet.
Click to expand...

You could at least post tit pics bro. I mean, your IRL friends won’t recognize those right? You may even get some PMs from Slyminxy.
 
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Vanessa

Vanessa

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Bubbles said:
I know this might be somewhat fucked up but I'd like to secretly feed HRT to a friend for like a month, just to see what happens.
Click to expand...

Nono, I know EXACTLY what you mean and where you're coming from. Fucked up? Most definitely. Worth it for science? Most definitely.

A month isn't that long though. It takes us a few months to half a year just to notice the first changes happening.

Hateyou said:
You could at least post tit pics bro. I mean, your IRL friends won’t recognize those right? You may even get some PMs from Slyminxy.
Click to expand...

kgkhg.gif


-edit- Just found this video / channel this morning and this young lady nails it... just absolutely nails it. I've never seen a video that, while the production value isn't top tier, the message conveyed as far as a general primer for my views of what the transgender thing is all about is the most spot-on thing I've ever seen. Check it out; I highly endorse this:

 
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latheboy

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Vanessa said:
Yes, HRT changes you mentally, not just physically. People who knew me both pre and post could testify to that. We continue to be the same person we are on a base, fundamental level. It's not going to alter your core beliefs and fundamental likes/dislikes (you don't suddenly start believing that the earth is flat) but you definitely start or stop certain things based on (anecdotally) living the life of the opposite sex. It sounds like you're looking for specifics namely hobbies that I either dropped or adopted though, so I'll focus there, but before I do, it's interesting to note that it may be hard to pinpoint what is something I could drop or adopt due to pre-transition self repression or actual psychological change due to HRT. I'll make a note on each point as to self-repression being likely or not likely:
Click to expand...


Thanks for the answer Vanessa, the first thing i thought of that could be a major difference in your life before and after was hobbies so i run with that.
It's interesting that it has changed mentally. i'm sure you are happier but has there been a bad side mentally that you can put down to JUST the meds?
And i'm not talking about the stress of going through the whole thing, or depression from dealing with shitty people because of the change.

You can probably tell i'm a level 243520957324 word smith so if you feel like it answer the question you think i'm asking.

Gamma Rays said:
I like how you included Slyminxy in the group you're asking, very progressive of you.
Click to expand...

I'm so progressive that i just skim read the thread and then thought of the question and here we are.
So, is slyminxy doing the trans thing or did i get that wrong?

What's the count up to now of members not wanting their members? haha
 
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