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I've been saying, people are too on edge these days. "Fuck off, Sadre" they say.
Am I wrong?
Am I wrong?
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Weather
- Thread starter etoille
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Alasliasolonik
Toilet of the Mod Elect
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So there I was fooling around on the computer a few months back and found a backdoor gui into the Pentagons unix security system. Why not, ya know? Just take a few peeks and leave a note saying its all good and be happy that I dont use my powers for evil. I figure out the flight lists for the closest airbase and pop my name in there as a pilot for those little Boeing F-22 Raptors. I print out a security bag on my home computer and head over to the base to take a little joy ride in the taxpayer planes. Blah blah welcome back sir, the plane is fueled and ready for your mission. Thank you Private, I say to the gate guard. A nice little kid, I promoted him to Captain.
Jet turbine engine starts up and I punch up where I want to get lunch and go through the checklist. Its this little gyro stand and they always had the best taziki sauce. Nice and easy burn up to 180mph and I pull the stick down towards my gigantic balls and pull like 19 g's going straight up. Reach a nice cruising altitude and level the ol gal off....BOOM
An emergency broadcast comes over the radio and the tower calls to see if I can assist with something, its a skyking situation and I am the only one that can do it.
Alas, we need you to land that plane and help with a medical emergency. 10-4 Skeeter I squawk back. I land the Boeing F-22 Raptor in a soybean field and my eyes focus on the tent with dozens of secret service agents. With my sun visor still down I cant really see who it it... its Alan Alda and he is having heart problems. I ask for 2 shots of whiskey, 1 to clean the area and 1 for the doctor of course.
Everyone flinches their head away as I crack open Mr. Aldas rib cage, I of course stand as a rock and wont let anoyher national treasure die on my god damned watch. It took just a few seconds of heart massaging to know that he will make it. The entire room just starts the loudest clapping and cheering ive ever heard and 3 single goosebumps lift on my arm. I pop my sunvisor down and start the walk back to the plane..... I get grabbed on the shoulder...
Alas, we know you arent who you say you are but we will let it go just for today. Thank you for saving Alans life... no problem Mr President, I respond.
Best fucking gyro of my life. Ohh wait, this was actually
Sadre Spinegnawer
Sadre Spinegnawer
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I'm sorry. That was funny. And while I believe imagination is the key to magic, people should put a skyking scenario out of their minds. My Uncle piloted the big cargo things, C-130's. He took me to "the perimeter" once down at the field. hehe.
Con Air, indeed, sir.
Con Air, indeed, sir.
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moonarchia
The Scientific Shitlord
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No, but neither are they.
CO is great today. Was 62, now we are getting snow.
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Sanrith Descartes
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Its iowa. They get snow every year in Iowa. How do these people not know how to drive in snow at this point? Are they all Asians?Since no one on this board probably lives in Iowa, here's a picture from today
TheBeagle
JunkiesNetwork Donor
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OTR truck drivers. Next time you're on the interstate take a look at who's driving those now.
Sanrith Descartes
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
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Chanur
Shit Posting Professional
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Come to central Florida bro. We got all the way down to 45°!
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Sanrith Descartes
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
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I miss using my pool in S FL 11 months out of the year and using the sun as a pool heater. Fuck NY.
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Chanur
Shit Posting Professional
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I was in Washington a few years ago. I dont miss the warm springs of 50 degrees after 6 months of 30. Florida this time of year is amazing.
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Sanrith Descartes
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
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Four more years until my daughter is done with high school then its adios mother fuckers back South where I belong.
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Sanrith Descartes
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
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BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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My grandfather used to tell a story of when he was in Air Force boot camp in San Antonio and it snowed. He said you could stand on any street corner and hear the cars smacking into each other every time the light changed.
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Lanx
<Prior Amod>
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subaru makes you feel like expert mode driver in the snow
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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yeah, the assholes still think they can floor it on icy roads, its worse now because everyone with newer cars have lulled themselves into a false sense of security. oh i can still drive fast and my super fucking bright headlights wont bother anyone. its a new car, what can go wrong??
Borzak
Bronze Baron of the Realm
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Shit 25 years ago went to an event near Ocala that was on a national guard training site. Was spring break as well, fuck that. Each night the lows got to below zero. Fun fun. All I heard the entire time "it never does this it never does this"
