Whats rustling your jimmies?

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Xequecal

Xequecal

Trump's Staff
11,559
-2,388
I found myself in a Texas Roadhouse and noticed the shirts literally everyone who works there is wearing.

Me: "I *heart* my job? Is that for real? Where's your 37 pieces of flair?"
Waitress: *blank stare*
Me: "I guess you're not getting that reference. I'm just saying it's kind of Orwellian that they make you all wear that."
Waitress: *shrugs*
Me: "Really? You don't get that one either? Fuck, I'm getting old."
 
  • 2Worf
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 2 users
P

Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm
11,333
5,323
Go to sleep at 11pm, wake up at 7am.
Go to sleep at 10m, wake up at 230am
 
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Reactions: 4 users
Conefed

Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,850
1,702
I think office bathrooms should be treated with a higher standard than typical public toilet. Short haired fatty leaves this one fuming without the fan on. Shit spattered on the seat lid.

It's also rustling when you get a semi while on the pot forcing a state of either no longer being handsfree or having your knob detail the inside of the bowl. Not the good kind of cold porcelain.
 
  • 2Worf
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 2 users
Mrs. Gravy

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,699
2,229
Rustled by everything and damn near everyone today. Wasting my motherfucking time with inanity.
 
  • 1Jew
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Reactions: 2 users
K

k^M

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,743
2,009
Picasso3 said:
Go to sleep at 11pm, wake up at 7am.
Go to sleep at 10m, wake up at 230am
Click to expand...

Fuck this noise. My gf asks me constantly if its bed time when I yawn at 8pm but if I fall asleep before 1030-11pm I'm up by 2am wide fucking awake.

Internal body clocks are assholes
 
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Palum

Palum

what Suineg set it to
27,623
44,087
Client keeps calling spreadsheets "wire frames" because it's got the skinny little wires running between all the text.
 
  • 5Rustled
  • 2Worf
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 8 users
RobXIII

RobXIII

Urinal Cake Consumption King
<Gold Donor>
3,916
2,379
Stop sign? COMPLETELY ignorable as I pull in front of you forcing you to slam on your brakes.

Speed limit sign? I better play it safe and go 10 under the limit now that I'm in front of you!

I'm the most patient person in the world, but when this happens to me, I WILL break 50 traffic laws just to get in front of you.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
Leadsalad

Leadsalad

Cis-XYite-Nationalist
6,226
12,988
Well, it's kind of hard to learn any kind of carpentry when you rent your living spaces and fill it with disposable IKEA furniture.

My dad has a big 4' table saw I barely know how to use because I don't actually have the ability to do anything with the resulting product. :/
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
a c i d.f l y

a c i d.f l y

ಠ_ಠ
<Silver Donator>
20,063
99,469
Leadsalad said:
Well, it's kind of hard to learn any kind of carpentry when you rent your living spaces and fill it with disposable IKEA furniture.

My dad has a big 4' table saw I barely know how to use because I don't actually have the ability to do anything with the resulting product. :/
Click to expand...

Grew up with my dad building shit. Wish I had the space for a table saw. So damn useful. Especially for getting straight lines with large, flat pieces of wood...
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
Aamry

Aamry

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,373
2,109
a c i d.f l y said:
Grew up with my dad building shit. Wish I had the space for a table saw. So damn useful. Especially for getting straight lines with large, flat pieces of wood...
Click to expand...

I took wood shop in middle school, and learned how to use basically every wood working machine. Then, growing up in my parents house, I of course mowed the lawn, and helped my dad with projects.

Now, I'm learning wood turning on a lathe from my grandpa. I've watched a lot of youtube videos about it as well. No real excuses for ignorance these days, also who the fuck doesn't know how to use a tape measure? Are we not using rulers in school anymore?
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
Jackie Treehorn

Jackie Treehorn

<Gold Donor>
2,952
7,753
Zhavric said:
I don't mind getting it on with chicks who are overweight. Hell, I kinda think they're cute.

But for fuck's sake, could your vagina/anus area NOT smell like raw feces? Could that... you know... could that be a courtesy you pay me? Like... I get that you get sweaty. I get that your vagina naturally has an odor to it. But there's a difference between "smells like sex" and "smells like you just shit yourself".

You couldn't have done something about it? Maybe said, "I need to freshen up" and gone to the bathroom to try to fix that up?

Fuck dating. Fuck women. I'm just going to buy a fleshlight, get professional massages, and play video games. What the fuck is the point of dating if every time I get your panties off, I want to fucking gag and my dick shrivels up?
Click to expand...

Counting long term girlfriends, hook ups, everyone I've ever had sex with, thousands of times, I've literally only encountered stinky pussy a handful of times. Most women know how to clean themselves and I'm sure are very aware and self conscious of it.

So I matched with this half Filipino half black 20 year old on Tinder last year who claimed she'd just lost her virginity earlier in the year and was interested in fucking an older guy (I was 36.)

First weird point of order -- she said via text she had problems having sex. Like literally, she said her vagina seemed really narrow and couldn't take a dick inside of it. She said she was able to insert a small diameter dildo all the way in, but not a penis. I thought to myself, oh, these young guys she fucked just can't get her wet or aroused enough, I'll handle this!

So I meet up with this girl at her apartment. We get down to things, I pull her panties off. Yeah, to this day that's the worst smelling pussy I've ever encountered. The unusual thing is she seemed to be freshly showered. I had this whole plan I was going to go down on her and get her really going, but noooo. I could smell her pussy from two feet away wafting at me.

As for sex: She was wet, I could finger her all the way in (yuck, I soldiered on,) but I absolutely could NOT fuck her. What she said was absolutely true. My dick absolutely would not go into her, and we tried making a few thrusts deeper in but she'd writhe in pain and say it wouldn't work. It's not as if I'm porn star huge, it's just like she said, there's something wrong with her. Weird experience altogether.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
Aamry

Aamry

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,373
2,109
Jackie Treehorn said:
Counting long term girlfriends, hook ups, everyone I've ever had sex with, thousands of times, I've literally only encountered stinky pussy a handful of times. Most women know how to clean themselves and I'm sure are very aware and self conscious of it.

So I matched with this half Filipino half black 20 year old on Tinder last year who claimed she'd just lost her virginity earlier in the year and was interested in fucking an older guy (I was 36.)

First weird point of order -- she said via text she had problems having sex. Like literally, she said her vagina seemed really narrow and couldn't take a dick inside of it. She said she was able to insert a small diameter dildo all the way in, but not a penis. I thought to myself, oh, these young guys she fucked just can't get her wet or aroused enough, I'll handle this!

So I meet up with this girl at her apartment. We get down to things, I pull her panties off. Yeah, to this day that's the worst smelling pussy I've ever encountered. The unusual thing is she seemed to be freshly showered. I had this whole plan I was going to go down on her and get her really going, but noooo. I could smell her pussy from two feet away wafting at me.

As for sex: She was wet, I could finger her all the way in (yuck, I soldiered on,) but I absolutely could NOT fuck her. What she said was absolutely true. My dick absolutely would not go into her, and we tried making a few thrusts deeper in but she'd writhe in pain and say it wouldn't work. It's not as if I'm porn star huge, it's just like she said, there's something wrong with her. Weird experience altogether.
Click to expand...

Post-op?
 
  • 7Worf
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 7 users
Aldarion

Aldarion

Egg Nazi
10,010
27,596
Zhavric said:
I don't mind getting it on with chicks who are overweight. Hell, I kinda think they're cute.

But for fuck's sake, could your vagina/anus area NOT smell like raw feces? Could that... you know... could that be a courtesy you pay me? Like... I get that you get sweaty. I get that your vagina naturally has an odor to it. But there's a difference between "smells like sex" and "smells like you just shit yourself".

You couldn't have done something about it? Maybe said, "I need to freshen up" and gone to the bathroom to try to fix that up?

Fuck dating. Fuck women. I'm just going to buy a fleshlight, get professional massages, and play video games. What the fuck is the point of dating if every time I get your panties off, I want to fucking gag and my dick shrivels up?
Click to expand...
LOL this discussion is cracking me up. I have a relatively low n compared to most of you cassanovas. But even my n has been sufficient to clarify this issue. Chicks who use tampons get stinky pussies, chicks who dont use tampons dont have stinky pussies. I havent seen any correlation with weight or time since last shower or general sluttiness. Tampons.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
25,916
51,071
Aldarion said:
LOL this discussion is cracking me up. I have a relatively low n compared to most of you cassanovas. But even my n has been sufficient to clarify this issue. Chicks who use tampons get stinky pussies, chicks who dont use tampons dont have stinky pussies. I havent seen any correlation with weight or time since last shower or general sluttiness. Tampons.
Click to expand...

This is false in my experience.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
a c i d.f l y

a c i d.f l y

ಠ_ಠ
<Silver Donator>
20,063
99,469
I've been with one girl who had a stanky pussy. Pretty sure it has everything to do with diet, kind of the same thing with the flavor of your spunk. You smoke or generally eat like shit, your cunt is gonna smell (unless she douches). Found no difference between girls who work out excessively, or don't at all, who use tampons, or don't. Bathing, and rigorous cleanliness helps. I've earned my red wings, and even then that girl smelled clean and crisp.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
Sludig

Sludig

Potato del Grande
10,133
10,838
Real-Men-Love.jpg


Great movie this is from too.
 
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Reactions: 3 users
Aamry

Aamry

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,373
2,109
Ive been with two stinky pussies, since we are on the subject. I slept with both twice, incase it was just a one-off or something. Pushing rope man, sense of smell too strong.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user
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