Whats rustling your jimmies?

Hoss · Oct 12, 2017

Jackie Treehorn said:
Counting long term girlfriends, hook ups, everyone I've ever had sex with, thousands of times, I've literally only encountered stinky pussy a handful of times. Most women know how to clean themselves and I'm sure are very aware and self conscious of it.

So I matched with this half Filipino half black 20 year old on Tinder last year who claimed she'd just lost her virginity earlier in the year and was interested in fucking an older guy (I was 36.)

First weird point of order -- she said via text she had problems having sex. Like literally, she said her vagina seemed really narrow and couldn't take a dick inside of it. She said she was able to insert a small diameter dildo all the way in, but not a penis. I thought to myself, oh, these young guys she fucked just can't get her wet or aroused enough, I'll handle this!

So I meet up with this girl at her apartment. We get down to things, I pull her panties off. Yeah, to this day that's the worst smelling pussy I've ever encountered. The unusual thing is she seemed to be freshly showered. I had this whole plan I was going to go down on her and get her really going, but noooo. I could smell her pussy from two feet away wafting at me.

As for sex: She was wet, I could finger her all the way in (yuck, I soldiered on,) but I absolutely could NOT fuck her. What she said was absolutely true. My dick absolutely would not go into her, and we tried making a few thrusts deeper in but she'd writhe in pain and say it wouldn't work. It's not as if I'm porn star huge, it's just like she said, there's something wrong with her. Weird experience altogether.

Damn, that reminded me of the one true stank pussy I fucked. She had a small pussy too. I thought she was just dirty talking at first, but she said intercourse was usually too painful for her to orgasm from it. I think I fucked her 3 times to make sure it wasn't a fluke. The final time she had literally just stepped out of the shower. But no matter what, as soon as the panties dropped a haze formed that would gag a maggot. I remember her nipples were right on the edge of the stink zone. I think it's mostly diet, but your experience makes me think the narrow vagina could be a contributing factor.

I slept over at her place the last time and when I woke up the next morning she was on the couch. She said I was beating her in my sleep.

a c i d.f l y · Oct 13, 2017

Mother fuckers vaping into their microphone on a conference call. CAN YOU FUCKING NOT.

Hoss · Oct 13, 2017

Got a fraud alert today. I checked it out and there's like 8 apple itunes purchases that happened this morning. I don't have apple and I hate apple, so I know it's not me or my wife or kid. I protest it and I find there's been spotify purchases for the past few months that I didn't notice. I also don't like or use spotify, so I know those are fraudulent. My daughter uses it, but I can see in her banking account where she's been paying for it herself. So I protest all of that and they want me to call them. When I call, my phone password has been changed. Even after verifying who I am, the motherfucker won't tell me what the password is so I can know for sure whether it was me and I forgot or someone else has called and posed as me and set a new password.

I'm pretty fucking pissed right now. I know their fraud investigation is going to do fuck all and I don't know what I need to do next. Fucking scorched earth on all all my credit cards and accounts is the only thing I keep coming back to when I try to plan my path forward.

Void · Oct 13, 2017

People that say "gambit" instead of "gamut." For some reason everyone I work with gets it wrong, and apparently feels the need to use it all the fucking time.

Hoss · Oct 13, 2017

Followup to mine. I finally got someone on the phone who knew how their shit worked and told me that the CC company software automatically hashed out (sort of) my verbal password as soon as the card was canceled. All it did was replace the first 4 characters with the corresponding number from a telephone touchpad. So for instance my verbal password was cocksucker. But what the idiot on the phone was seeing was 2625sucker. Had to go into a local branch at lunchtime to get connected with someone who didn't have their head up their ass.

Borzak · Oct 13, 2017

loudgas said:
Home Depot Panics Over Millennials; Forced To Host Tutorials On Using Tape Measures, Hammering Nails
Home Depot Panics Over Millennials; Forced To Host Tutorials On Using Tape Measures, Hammering Nails

Article last week a judge threw out a lawsuit against Lowes, idiots bought a bunch of 2x4 and 4x4 and then sued because it wasn't 2"x4". Judge said dipshits should have picked up a free tape in Lowes and went and measured it and the sign said 2x4 not 2"x4". Dismissed. Judge also asked what cave they had been living in.

Sludig · Oct 13, 2017

Sadly, Lowes et al did lose a similiar lawsuit over a similiar issue. I thought it was 2x4's actually, maybe your's was same case on appeal or something. But initially it was retarded because they lost the one I'm thinking of.

Siliconemelons · Oct 13, 2017

That shit was 2" x 4" it's just shrunk over the years and now all the signs have "actual - 1.x" x 3.x" "or whatever.

Once a true 2x4

Palum · Oct 13, 2017

Sludig said:
Sadly, Lowes et al did lose a similiar lawsuit over a similiar issue. I thought it was 2x4's actually, maybe your's was same case on appeal or something. But initially it was retarded because they lost the one I'm thinking of.

That suit Lowe's had a shitty supplier where the mills were cutting it below nominal dimensions so since the sign didn't fit either Lowe's was falsely advertising the lumber. It had nothing to do with the fact that cut down and planed boards are smaller, they were selling shit.

Basically chinese drywall of lumber issue.

Lanx · Oct 13, 2017

Aamry said:
I took wood shop in middle school, and learned how to use basically every wood working machine. Then, growing up in my parents house, I of course mowed the lawn, and helped my dad with projects.

Now, I'm learning wood turning on a lathe from my grandpa. I've watched a lot of youtube videos about it as well. No real excuses for ignorance these days, also who the fuck doesn't know how to use a tape measure? Are we not using rulers in school anymore?

Foh has guided me from home care to lawn care.

Zhavric · Oct 14, 2017

My dumb cunt liberal snowflake friend of 8 years who ALWAYS has to be right about everything, always has to cast me as the bad guy, and who I fucking had enough of tonight and unfriended. I remember being younger and thinking that people were all basically good and interesting... then growing up and learning that people are basically terrible and boring. Me especially. I ghosted on my best friend from childhood because I'm horrible and have untreated social anxiety. I broke up with my girlfriend of nearly a decade and I still don't know why I did it other than I woke up one day and just did it. I'm sick of feeling like this. Sick of you guys being the only time I have a moment of honesty. Sick of knowing exactly how this sounds and what I would think if someone else wrote it and I read it.

Palum · Oct 14, 2017

Zhavric said:
My dumb cunt liberal snowflake friend of 8 years who ALWAYS has to be right about everything, always has to cast me as the bad guy, and who I fucking had enough of tonight and unfriended. I remember being younger and thinking that people were all basically good and interesting... then growing up and learning that people are basically terrible and boring. Me especially. I ghosted on my best friend from childhood because I'm horrible and have untreated social anxiety. I broke up with my girlfriend of nearly a decade and I still don't know why I did it other than I woke up one day and just did it. I'm sick of feeling like this. Sick of you guys being the only time I have a moment of honesty. Sick of knowing exactly how this sounds and what I would think if someone else wrote it and I read it.

Shit man

Maybe if you get an avatar pic that will help though

zombiewizardhawk · Oct 14, 2017

I woke up Wednesday with a crick in my neck, by 10pm yesterday it was mostly better then it started hurting again right before I went to bed last night and it's almost as bad this morning as it was Wednesday.

Amir · Oct 14, 2017

a c i d.f l y said:
Mother fuckers vaping into their microphone on a conference call. CAN YOU FUCKING NOT.

Vaping. Period.

Pussies

Mist · Oct 15, 2017

I made my computer super silent. Now I can work in absolute peace.

Except now the sound of my refrigerator on the other side of the house is driving me fucking crazy.

a c i d.f l y · Oct 15, 2017

Zhavric said:
My dumb cunt liberal snowflake friend of 8 years who ALWAYS has to be right about everything, always has to cast me as the bad guy, and who I fucking had enough of tonight and unfriended. I remember being younger and thinking that people were all basically good and interesting... then growing up and learning that people are basically terrible and boring. Me especially. I ghosted on my best friend from childhood because I'm horrible and have untreated social anxiety. I broke up with my girlfriend of nearly a decade and I still don't know why I did it other than I woke up one day and just did it. I'm sick of feeling like this. Sick of you guys being the only time I have a moment of honesty. Sick of knowing exactly how this sounds and what I would think if someone else wrote it and I read it.

I ghosted my best friend after twenty years of friendship. He had become an intolerable person, that wallowed in depression. Like, I get it when people are depressed, but he wore it like a badge of honor. Was just done being treated like shit and one day said "bye" and digitally deleted them from my life.

Feels nice dropping a losing investment. But still sucks.

tera · Oct 15, 2017

Twitch streamers: I never watched Twitch before, but once FortniteBR came out I watched a bit to get a feel for the game and now that I've been playing for a while I decided to watch and see how the 'pros' do it. Whiny little bitches. Hopping around, exposing themselves on roof tops, not checking corners, etc... they make loads of kills but whenever they die... HACKS!
The one I watched last night was playing solo in squads and at one point got into a massive battle with a squad of 4. Afterwards only had about 1/3 health. The next guy he fought got a head-shot on him... HACKS.. *rage quit*.
These fucking people... and all the reporting they do, like half the time they die- reported for hacks!

Conefed · Oct 15, 2017

Mist · Oct 15, 2017

a c i d.f l y said:
I ghosted my best friend after twenty years of friendship. He had become an intolerable person, that wallowed in depression. Like, I get it when people are depressed, but he wore it like a badge of honor. Was just done being treated like shit and one day said "bye" and digitally deleted them from my life.

Weird coincidence, I'm pretty sure this is what all my friends did to me.

ohkcrlho · Oct 16, 2017

Yesterday, forest fires again in my country and again dozens died (38 till now). Back in june were 64.
But it's kinda interesting because there were 400 fires (!!!!!) all over the country, just yesterday, mainly the northern part. Of course was done on purpose. By whom?why? I don't know but sure hell they deserve the death penalty. Motherfuckers

Whats rustling your jimmies?

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