Whats rustling your jimmies?
- Thread starter Big Phoenix
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Wantonsoup95
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Every year at work we will have chicks for sale at work around this time. It is unusually cold right now and the hatchery sent them out via usps. The fuckers at the local receiving center left the box on their loading dock....
You can imagine what 30 degree windy weather with no source of heat will do. I had to put all but 10 down.
You can imagine what 30 degree windy weather with no source of heat will do. I had to put all but 10 down.
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Alasliasolonik
Toilet of the Mod Elect
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The Russian ones should have been OK but at least the Asians ones are smaller and easier to deal with.
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Eh, I'm pretty sure the girls I've been talking to do really want to meet, its just chicks basically act as if they are prey animals and spook easy, essentially they are I guess.
Usually when I finally get a girl to come out, first time I see her, its as if a sigh of relief comes over her face like, "Thank god he's not a catfish", at least the successful times anyway. Getting to the first date on a dating app is the hardest part, the date itself is generally a lot of fun. Hopefully I get more luck at the bars this summer as it warms up, because dating apps are a fucking pain in the ass.
Actually,
women are a pain in the ass, but also I want to grab a pair of big titties.
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Government cracking down on that, see backpage.com
Pretty shitty, but at this point its the developers fault for these shitty environments.
Ask for their number and to setup a date within a few messages? "Omg thats way too fast!!"
Chit chat back and forth for a week? They disappear, probably because they thought you where a pussy and couldnt ask them out.
Thing that really rustles my jimmies is idiots on Okcupid. Theres a profile option to say whether you have kids. Problem is its useless, because it doesnt require you to answer it when making a profile. Fucking single mothers dont answer the question but put in their profile summary they have kids.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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We're going to need to see a transcript of your interactions with these girls to tell you what you're doing wrong. I always found it helped to reassure them early on that i wasn't an axe murderer. YMMV
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Alright boys settle in, you're not going to believe this shit...
So here I am at my place last night (Saturday), just cleaning, you know real boring upkeep shit.
I get a notification on my phone "Someone on Okcupid likes you."
bleh, ok I don't expect anything from Okcupid at this point, everyone's moved over to Tinder and Bumble, whatever I go to check because, why not ?
The Profile has some pictures of a girl in a couple of different parks, but she's outta the foreground of most of pictures, can't really tell if she's attractive.
I swipe right anyway, and send her some boring message.
Get a response goes back and forth two or three times,
*paraphrasing*
out of now where she drops this paragraph, "oh it doesn't look like you're the type of person I'm looking for, I hope you find what you're looking for..." blah blah blah
Me: Sounds like you just copy/pasted that but OK whatever, peace
Her: No you just seem to busy for a relationship blah blah blah
Me: I have a profile on a dating website so I dunno what you're talking about, but it sounds like your not interested anyway so bye.
Her: Well I'm looking to start a family
Me: Says right in my profile "Doesn't have kids but wants them", but anyway I can't even tell if you're attractive because your pictures don't even have you focused in them.
Her: Well I assumed you were attracted to me, anyway if you want me to be interested you should have an intelligent conversation with me.
Verbatim and irritated:
Me: Ok, let me just pull out my cymbals while I'm at it and dance like the fucking monkey I am for you.
Her: Look I'm hungry right now, do you want to get something to eat? I can prove to you that I'm not what you're looking for.
Me: *WTF?*: Sure why not? Sounds like an awful lot of work to prove I'm not interested.
Her: I'm at X right now
Me: alright, send me a picture of you at X so I know that I'm not getting stood up, and I'll come by.
Her: I don't know how to do that from here
Me: give me your # I'll text you.
Her: OMG ###-###-####
I text her, she actually sends me a picuture, I go "shit I guess I'm going to X give me 20-30"
I get there go to the bar, and sure-as-shit there she is sitting at a table.
How the fuck did this work!?!?!
So I walk up to her, "Hey Okcupid Girl X, its me Okcupid Guy Y"
And she's pretty damn cute, and we get to talking, we get something to eat, I take her to a movie "A Quiet Place" great choice because every jump scare has her cuddling the shit out of me.
We go back to her place it doesn't get frisky unfortunately (realistically probably a good sign), but I kiss her good night, talked to her again today, may or may not get to a second date nothing penciled in yet...but from one conversation to a date in 45 minutes.
The complete opposite of almost every other experience I've had on online dating.
Lol amazing.
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a c i d.f l y
ಠ_ಠ
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Some of my best friends and best relationships started from annoying conversations or fights. lol... people tired of dealing with other people's shit tends to make them jaded/confrontational/avoidant/isolated. Good luck!
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pharmakos
soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
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she probably uses that line on everyone, seriously. maybe you should take a page from her playbook if things with her don't work out.
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Amir
Vyemm Raider
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Muslim country.
Squatting pans is the norm.
There are some bathroom stalls with toilets but it is usually used or a line waiting to be used. And even if one is available, people hose em down with water and so the toilet is wet.
I feel the turtle poking it's head out. Thankfully there is a toilet available. Fuck it being wet this can't wait. Let her rip. Look to the side:no toilet paper. Surrender my socks. Flush it down with the turd, toilet doesn't flush completely. Turd and sock are visible. Fuck it. Not my problem.
Squatting pans is the norm.
There are some bathroom stalls with toilets but it is usually used or a line waiting to be used. And even if one is available, people hose em down with water and so the toilet is wet.
I feel the turtle poking it's head out. Thankfully there is a toilet available. Fuck it being wet this can't wait. Let her rip. Look to the side:no toilet paper. Surrender my socks. Flush it down with the turd, toilet doesn't flush completely. Turd and sock are visible. Fuck it. Not my problem.
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Xequecal
Trump's Staff
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Lady behind me at work just went on a diet, and is now almost 20 minutes into regaling us with her epic, harrowing story of how she managed to Heroically Drive Past A Dairy Queen Without Stopping To Buy Anything. Yes, she is doing this with a gravitas normally reserved for 90 year old war vets telling their Omaha Beach story.
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Wantonsoup95
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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When an order comes in with a date of any time this week, no rush. And by Wednesday morning there's shock it wasn't done yet.
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inadvertently turning this into one of the dating threads, messaged this girl today. She's saying she's really busy this weekend. I know there is truth in this she's moving into a new place etc, but my experience with women has always been that they will move heaven and earth if they're into you. Not feeling like she's into me, I think she wants to be motivated by my lack of interest in her, my showing interest just makes her think she's more valuable than me, which is of course laughable.
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To be honest, if she were really into you she'd work you in around moving, or ask you to help as a pretense... (if I were placing a bet on things.)
So get back up to the plate and commence the right swiping again chief!
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