Ok, jimmies are seriously rustled on behalf of my coworker, but maybe I'm just not knowledgeable enough on this subject to make a true judgment.
And before I start, this really is about a coworker, this isn't "asking for a friend" when it is really me. I'd tell you guys if this were me. And I'm not married, nor do I have any kids, so this wouldn't impact my life anywhere near like it does my coworker.
Gonna be a little tl;dr but whatever. Coworker (we'll call him Bob) found out many years ago (over a decade easily) that he had a daughter (we'll call her Jill) from a woman he dated briefly years ago. They took a dna test and it confirmed he was the father. The conception would have been like 10 years before he met his current wife, whom he had 4 kids with. Wife was upset, but was way before her time, so ultimately nothing to bitch about except women being bitchy. Particularly since the girl even said her mother didn't contact Bob on purpose, so how could he have known he was a dad? He was in the Army at the time they hooked up too, so he moved on and never heard from her.
Anyway, just today this other girl (call her Betsy), roughly the same age as Bob's oldest kid (within a few months), contacts Jill and says that she took a dna test and it connected Betsy to Jill. Immediately they decide Bob must be her dad, and Jill texts this info to one of the real daughters. Who then tells Bob's wife and everyone else in the family, and now they are posting text messages and shit all over Facebook, saying Bob is a piece of shit, cheated on his future wife when she was getting pregnant with their first child, wife is talking divorce, daughters are going mental, etc.
Let's skip all the bullshit about posting on Facebook and not handling this in a private manner. From what he was able to tell me, and admittedly it is jumbled and somewhat hysterical, Betsy did the dna test and it sent her to Jill...not him. From my guess, she probably did an Ancestry.com test or something. I don't think paternity testing sites would have that info publicly available? And if it was an ancestry site, never having done one myself, all that really does is confirm relationship, right? Because the reason this is relevant is that Bob's brother (who is now dead) was also living in this area at that time, and man-whoring around a ton. Is it not possible that the dna result is just pointing to the general relationship, not specifically that Bob is the father? Could his brother be the father with a "dna match" like I am describing?
Obviously he needs to do a true paternity test, but his wife and kids have practically crucified him already. The wife is a nurse and claims "that's not how dna works" when I told him to mention it might be the brother. Oh, and to the obvious question, Bob doesn't remember sleeping with anyone beside his future wife back then, but if the timing is close so it is always a possibility. He's almost certain he didn't, but he's doubting his memory now with all this dogpiling. He admits to being a whore before he lived with the wife, and he'd tell me if he definitely did, but he thinks he's innocent.
Is there any way he's not the father, given the limited info I've supplied? I'm really rooting for him NOT to be the father so he can tell his wife and daughters to eat shit and hold that over their head in EVERY argument henceforth. Right now I'm really fucking rustled over how shitty they are treating him. And even if it is him, that was 28 fucking years ago. He's a totally changed man now, and I'm not just saying that. He did drugs, was an alcoholic, etc. so who knows, maybe it was him. But today he does none of that, donates time to feeding the homeless and charity, would give you the shirt off his back, etc. If his wife wants to throw all that away for something that happened when he was that other person, then fuck her, she doesn't deserve the man he is now. However, it would break him, so...yeah, hoping he's not the dad.
