Whats rustling your jimmies?

Yesterday my HOA sends out an email saying they are making the homeowners use a FOB instead of the regular key starting tomorrow to get inside the mail room to get mail. I never got a FOB.

They won't do anything about my neighbors that will be loud as fuck but they will charge 10 dollars just to get access to the mail box.

HOA's are fucking scum.

People who approach a four way Stop and they stop 5 feet behind the limit line, and act like it counts, that way they can go before you.

Got an old school jimmy rustle for you today, about driving on the highway.

You're driving down the highway and need a fast food place or gas station. Fortunately for you, the state has posted signs marking the exits that have gas stations or fast food places at them. How convenient.

Unfortunately for you, 75% of these signs are fucking lies.

Listen faggots - if I can't get off the exit and see the store from the exit ramp, there isnt a fucking store at this exit. Take down the fucking signs.

We're trying to make a decision about *which* exit to stop at. Telling me that technically if you get off this exit and drive for a long fucking way, you can someday reach a gas station, that is not useful information. Its straight up dishonest. Fuck you.

Fucking streets sitting Indians at xfinity and straight talk, going on a week of multiple attempts to communicate with these retard fuck heads trying to transfer service. One phone sorta ported but somehow wrong area code so acts like it's roaming and tries to tell me local vs home time.

2nd phone there's some issue they can't ever explain, schedule calls then never call, act confused and won't do anything about fixing the first ones area code. Basically if i even try to give them 2 pieces of information at once its too much.

I've never wanted to genocide in my life, even joggers have plenty of worthwhile individuals, but I think in my life I've dealt with 2 non retarded poos out of a hundred, and right now I've had about 1 vaguely decent out of 20 in a week of call and texting.

Filthy fucking subhuman trash. Give me shaniquaaa on the phone any day.

Went to grocery store after I got off work last night, it’s one of the only 24 hour stores in my neighborhood.

Only one checkout line and shoppers lined up to about ten people.

Took me 15 mins to buy a gallon of milk.

Never occurred tocashier to call for assistance and yet there were plenty of people on the floor that could have stopped stocking for a few mins to help get people through.

Didn’t say a word to her when I was at register, when she was trying to ask me how my night was going, this was basically going through my head:

"To place an order, please contact us to request a quote"

No, you inbred assfuck, how about you put something on the motherfucking internet and I just oh I dunno PLACE A GODDAM ORDER ON THE WEBSITE LIKE A REGULAR GODDAM HUMAN BEING

The widespread existence of bland food - bland food as the default - this rustles my jimmies.

This isnt just a matter of preference; "oops I wish I'd ordered the spicy version".

No, what I'm saying is why the fuck is bland tasteless food the default, and if you want some flavor on it, you need to ask for a spicy version or put sauce on it? Why the fuck does every taco place give you sauce on the side - who's the assfuck eating their tacos without sauce?

(Said assfuck is gonna chime in here and say "akchually I only eat tacos without sauce" - WELL YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SHOULD HAVE TO PLACE A SPECIAL FUCKING ORDER, NOT NORMAL PEOPLE)

I mean lets be honest, even the french fries at most fast food places - a staple, a piece of American junk food that only exists to taste good - these motherfucking things arent even properly salted anymore because some dumbshit complained they were too salty.

So its not like I'm ranting that everything needs to be doused in Tabasco; its not just heat, its all the flavors. Nothing gets properly seasoned, every place expects you to add sauce or salt or pepper until it finally has a little bit of flavor and you can choke it down.

Bland food is an offense. I only get to eat one lunch today, and you've seen fit to ruin it by serving bland tasteless bullshit. I'll never get that opportunity back. The chicken who died to make this lunch, was wasted. The lettuce and pickles too. Its offensive and disrespectful.

People who enjoy bland tasteless bullshit should have to order it specially made (and probably made wrong, fuck those people) while the rest of us enjoy normal food.

Denamian said:

Went through the self check out this morning and it stopped and told me to wait for assistance. It turns out that NY now requires you to be carded to buy whipped cream. Fucking whipped cream.

Goddamn clown world.

Click to expand...

remember in late 90's whippets got a resurgence and all the whipped cream got moved off the shelves. had to ask for someone to get it from that back.