Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 27,242
- 15,387
Whats rustling your jimmies?
- Thread starter Big Phoenix
- Start date
-
Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Onoes
Trakanon Raider
- 1,460
- 1,225
Yeah, it's always rough to see your friends just bomb at life. I went on a business trip a few weeks ago that placed me in the city of an old high school lady friend. We've stayed in touch via text over the years, and have randomly met up 5-6 times in the last 20 years for funerals or weddings, and every time we meet us we get along like no time has passed. A couple weeks before the trip I was like "Hey, I'm going to be in your neck of the woods for a couple of days, but the only time I would have to hang out would be after 5pm on Monday. You want to go out to dinner and maybe hit a couple of Tiki bars? I would need you to pick me up and shuttle me around (I have 4 coworkers with me and we've only got 1 car), but drinks are on me 
" and she was super excited about it. We text a bunch on the week leading up to the trip, about what we were going to do, and she was all excited to have me meet her husband and kid and see her house and stuff. All sounded very cool.
Cut to Monday, I updated her on my timeline during the day and just got thumbs up emojis. Got to my hotel and was ready to go by 3:30. I text her the address and let her know. She responds "Am I supposed to pick you up? I got pretty drunk waiting for you. I don't want to go out tonight. I can get an Uber for you to come over to my house if you need me to?" I was kind of stunned, like... we had planned all this out, why was she hammered at 3:30 on a Monday, when she should have known what the plan was. 3 of my coworkers had already talked about going to dinner, so at that point I was just like "Well, I need to get some food and my coworkers want to go out, I'll text you after and see how you're feeling." Got a thumbs up emoji again.
Went to dinner with my coworkers, and was telling them I was bummed because I had really been looking forward to catching up with an old friend and hitting this cool bar, and they suggested we just go to the bar, and I can reach out and see if she wants to meet us there or something. So I reach out and she says "Just come by and pick me up." My coworkers are cool with it, so we go to pick her up. Have to park a couple blocks from her house (big city) so I leave the coworkers there and walk to get her. Show up at her house (totally nice house btw) and she is in pajama's on her patio with an empty bottle of wine and another one half gone. I didn't recognize her at first because she looked ROUGH. I saw her like 3 years ago and she was normal, she looked 20 fucking years older. I don't know how much of it was just a lack of makeup and shit, and how much of it was what I'm assuming is alcoholism.
To shorten the rest, her kid never came out of his room, her husband looked like a beaten man trying to hold his shit together, and she was a total mess. I tried to not take her, but she insisted she would be good to go in 5 minutes. She threw on a hoodie and that was it as far as I could tell. She was still very clearly drunk, and she was mean. As soon as we got in the car with my coworkers she started basically talking shit to them, super awkward "you guys probably don't like me, but I don't give a fuck, I'm here to hang out with my friend, and he's your boss so you can't say shit" kind of stuff. I was basically apologizing for her and trying to get her to shut up.
Luckily the bar was pretty packed and they had 2 seats at the bar and a small table, so we just split into two groups, saving my coworkers at least. We start trying to talk and catch up and I quickly am thinking "is this just drunk, or is she on something?" because she is super hyper, seems to swing through tons of emotions, and can't seem to focus on anything. It became obvious very quickly that it was pointless for me to try and talk as she would just start staring off at other people or in her purse or whatever, and she would then just spring into some story of her own, cutting me off mid sentence. At one point she talked about how she's thought of killing herself because what's the point really?, and then bounced into a trip she just went on and how great it was, then about how her best friend tried to sleep with her husband, and then about how much she loves her job. No kidding, all of those conversations were maybe 5 minutes of time. I shouldn't even say conversations, it was just her talking and me nodding or reacting with a face, but if I tried to talk she would cut me off or stop listening. It was super fucking weird. At one point she started to try and talk to a group of girls who were past me at the bar... but she was basically trying to insult them and maybe start a fight? I have no idea. ALSO, the whole time she wouldn't stop touching me. She didn't grab my dick or anything, but she had her hands on my arm, legs, shoulders, chest, just hanging on me and touching me familiarly the whole time. She probably hugged me 30 times talking about how I'm one of her oldest and truest friends. The entire time I felt like an animal with its leg in a trap.
We got out of there and took her home, she was again terrible to my coworkers in the car. When we pulled up to her house she got out and started walking off, I hopped out and was like "hey wait up, I'll walk you home" and she gave me this shitty look and was like "Jesus, didn't we already say goodbye enough times?!" (we hadn't said goodbye at all lol) and then she just spun around and walked off, and I laughed and said "Well ok then, goodbye" and got back in the car. I spent the whole drive back to the hotel apologizing and telling my coworkers "I promise she didn't used to be a crazy person, what the fuck was that?!"
She text me multiple times the next day saying how great it was to see me, and that my wife and I need to come visit and stay with her family. >_<
Sucks because its a 25 year+ friendship, but holy fuck do I have 0 interest in repeating that ever again.
" and she was super excited about it. We text a bunch on the week leading up to the trip, about what we were going to do, and she was all excited to have me meet her husband and kid and see her house and stuff. All sounded very cool.Cut to Monday, I updated her on my timeline during the day and just got thumbs up emojis. Got to my hotel and was ready to go by 3:30. I text her the address and let her know. She responds "Am I supposed to pick you up? I got pretty drunk waiting for you. I don't want to go out tonight. I can get an Uber for you to come over to my house if you need me to?" I was kind of stunned, like... we had planned all this out, why was she hammered at 3:30 on a Monday, when she should have known what the plan was. 3 of my coworkers had already talked about going to dinner, so at that point I was just like "Well, I need to get some food and my coworkers want to go out, I'll text you after and see how you're feeling." Got a thumbs up emoji again.
Went to dinner with my coworkers, and was telling them I was bummed because I had really been looking forward to catching up with an old friend and hitting this cool bar, and they suggested we just go to the bar, and I can reach out and see if she wants to meet us there or something. So I reach out and she says "Just come by and pick me up." My coworkers are cool with it, so we go to pick her up. Have to park a couple blocks from her house (big city) so I leave the coworkers there and walk to get her. Show up at her house (totally nice house btw) and she is in pajama's on her patio with an empty bottle of wine and another one half gone. I didn't recognize her at first because she looked ROUGH. I saw her like 3 years ago and she was normal, she looked 20 fucking years older. I don't know how much of it was just a lack of makeup and shit, and how much of it was what I'm assuming is alcoholism.
To shorten the rest, her kid never came out of his room, her husband looked like a beaten man trying to hold his shit together, and she was a total mess. I tried to not take her, but she insisted she would be good to go in 5 minutes. She threw on a hoodie and that was it as far as I could tell. She was still very clearly drunk, and she was mean. As soon as we got in the car with my coworkers she started basically talking shit to them, super awkward "you guys probably don't like me, but I don't give a fuck, I'm here to hang out with my friend, and he's your boss so you can't say shit" kind of stuff. I was basically apologizing for her and trying to get her to shut up.
Luckily the bar was pretty packed and they had 2 seats at the bar and a small table, so we just split into two groups, saving my coworkers at least. We start trying to talk and catch up and I quickly am thinking "is this just drunk, or is she on something?" because she is super hyper, seems to swing through tons of emotions, and can't seem to focus on anything. It became obvious very quickly that it was pointless for me to try and talk as she would just start staring off at other people or in her purse or whatever, and she would then just spring into some story of her own, cutting me off mid sentence. At one point she talked about how she's thought of killing herself because what's the point really?, and then bounced into a trip she just went on and how great it was, then about how her best friend tried to sleep with her husband, and then about how much she loves her job. No kidding, all of those conversations were maybe 5 minutes of time. I shouldn't even say conversations, it was just her talking and me nodding or reacting with a face, but if I tried to talk she would cut me off or stop listening. It was super fucking weird. At one point she started to try and talk to a group of girls who were past me at the bar... but she was basically trying to insult them and maybe start a fight? I have no idea. ALSO, the whole time she wouldn't stop touching me. She didn't grab my dick or anything, but she had her hands on my arm, legs, shoulders, chest, just hanging on me and touching me familiarly the whole time. She probably hugged me 30 times talking about how I'm one of her oldest and truest friends. The entire time I felt like an animal with its leg in a trap.
We got out of there and took her home, she was again terrible to my coworkers in the car. When we pulled up to her house she got out and started walking off, I hopped out and was like "hey wait up, I'll walk you home" and she gave me this shitty look and was like "Jesus, didn't we already say goodbye enough times?!" (we hadn't said goodbye at all lol) and then she just spun around and walked off, and I laughed and said "Well ok then, goodbye" and got back in the car. I spent the whole drive back to the hotel apologizing and telling my coworkers "I promise she didn't used to be a crazy person, what the fuck was that?!"
She text me multiple times the next day saying how great it was to see me, and that my wife and I need to come visit and stay with her family. >_<
Sucks because its a 25 year+ friendship, but holy fuck do I have 0 interest in repeating that ever again.
- 2
- 2
- 1
joz123
Potato del Grande
- 6,664
- 9,460
People who think they have to let you know that people who feel like they have to let others know they're not reading stuff, who asked, no one cares just close the tab and move on if the couple of minutes of reading are too much for you.
- 3
- 2
Sludig
Potato del Grande
- 9,927
- 10,580
Kinda similiar, very tldr but I had a friend super swell dude. Went crazy, saw a few benign things on Facebook but had to cash the cops when he said something about the kids he doesn't think are his and are conspiring against him and later that week day h he wanted to rent a gun and shoot himself.Yeah, it's always rough to see your friends just bomb at life. I went on a business trip a few weeks ago that placed me in the city of an old high school lady friend. We've stayed in touch via text over the years, and have randomly met up 5-6 times in the last 20 years for funerals or weddings, and every time we meet us we get along like no time has passed. A couple weeks before the trip I was like "Hey, I'm going to be in your neck of the woods for a couple of days, but the only time I would have to hang out would be after 5pm on Monday. You want to go out to dinner and maybe hit a couple of Tiki bars? I would need you to pick me up and shuttle me around (I have 4 coworkers with me and we've only got 1 car), but drinks are on me
Cut to Monday, I updated her on my timeline during the day and just got thumbs up emojis. Got to my hotel and was ready to go by 3:30. I text her the address and let her know. She responds "Am I supposed to pick you up? I got pretty drunk waiting for you. I don't want to go out tonight. I can get an Uber for you to come over to my house if you need me to?" I was kind of stunned, like... we had planned all this out, why was she hammered at 3:30 on a Monday, when she should have known what the plan was. 3 of my coworkers had already talked about going to dinner, so at that point I was just like "Well, I need to get some food and my coworkers want to go out, I'll text you after and see how you're feeling." Got a thumbs up emoji again.
Went to dinner with my coworkers, and was telling them I was bummed because I had really been looking forward to catching up with an old friend and hitting this cool bar, and they suggested we just go to the bar, and I can reach out and see if she wants to meet us there or something. So I reach out and she says "Just come by and pick me up." My coworkers are cool with it, so we go to pick her up. Have to park a couple blocks from her house (big city) so I leave the coworkers there and walk to get her. Show up at her house (totally nice house btw) and she is in pajama's on her patio with an empty bottle of wine and another one half gone. I didn't recognize her at first because she looked ROUGH. I saw her like 3 years ago and she was normal, she looked 20 fucking years older. I don't know how much of it was just a lack of makeup and shit, and how much of it was what I'm assuming is alcoholism.
To shorten the rest, her kid never came out of his room, her husband looked like a beaten man trying to hold his shit together, and she was a total mess. I tried to not take her, but she insisted she would be good to go in 5 minutes. She threw on a hoodie and that was it as far as I could tell. She was still very clearly drunk, and she was mean. As soon as we got in the car with my coworkers she started basically talking shit to them, super awkward "you guys probably don't like me, but I don't give a fuck, I'm here to hang out with my friend, and he's your boss so you can't say shit" kind of stuff. I was basically apologizing for her and trying to get her to shut up.
Luckily the bar was pretty packed and they had 2 seats at the bar and a small table, so we just split into two groups, saving my coworkers at least. We start trying to talk and catch up and I quickly am thinking "is this just drunk, or is she on something?" because she is super hyper, seems to swing through tons of emotions, and can't seem to focus on anything. It became obvious very quickly that it was pointless for me to try and talk as she would just start staring off at other people or in her purse or whatever, and she would then just spring into some story of her own, cutting me off mid sentence. At one point she talked about how she's thought of killing herself because what's the point really?, and then bounced into a trip she just went on and how great it was, then about how her best friend tried to sleep with her husband, and then about how much she loves her job. No kidding, all of those conversations were maybe 5 minutes of time. I shouldn't even say conversations, it was just her talking and me nodding or reacting with a face, but if I tried to talk she would cut me off or stop listening. It was super fucking weird. At one point she started to try and talk to a group of girls who were past me at the bar... but she was basically trying to insult them and maybe start a fight? I have no idea. ALSO, the whole time she wouldn't stop touching me. She didn't grab my dick or anything, but she had her hands on my arm, legs, shoulders, chest, just hanging on me and touching me familiarly the whole time. She probably hugged me 30 times talking about how I'm one of her oldest and truest friends. The entire time I felt like an animal with its leg in a trap.
We got out of there and took her home, she was again terrible to my coworkers in the car. When we pulled up to her house she got out and started walking off, I hopped out and was like "hey wait up, I'll walk you home" and she gave me this shitty look and was like "Jesus, didn't we already say goodbye enough times?!" (we hadn't said goodbye at all lol) and then she just spun around and walked off, and I laughed and said "Well ok then, goodbye" and got back in the car. I spent the whole drive back to the hotel apologizing and telling my coworkers "I promise she didn't used to be a crazy person, what the fuck was that?!"
She text me multiple times the next day saying how great it was to see me, and that my wife and I need to come visit and stay with her family. >_<
Sucks because its a 25 year+ friendship, but holy fuck do I have 0 interest in repeating that ever again.
Even when I got a chance to talk briefly he worked the fbi had sent me etc.
Aamry
Blackwing Lair Raider
- 2,361
- 2,085
Izo
Tranny Chaser
- 19,467
- 23,537
Sanrith Descartes
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
- 44,576
- 120,885
Friend's mom is a hoarder. Newspapers and mail from 5 years ago and shit. I have never understood that shit.
- 1
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
- 46,393
- 98,614
Sounds pretty similar to my dad that I posted about pages ago.
Theres basically no helping these people. They will swirl the drain until some health issue takes them.
- 1
Brahma
Obi-Bro Kenobi-X
- 12,512
- 45,580
I swear to god. He won't let us even rent the dumpster. Says he needs to see what he wants to keep! I spent an hour trying to convince him to just direct the peeps we hire to toss what he doesn't want. He won't budge. I'm betting he is just too damn embarrassed or too damn lazy to get his fat ass up and about.
- 1
Edaw
Parody
- 13,290
- 88,162
Why are you giving him a choice? Tell him you are going to do it for his own good and if he wants to call the cops, you'll have donuts ready. Then call your buddies and get it done. People in these situations are incapable of making good decisions.
- 2
Aamry
Blackwing Lair Raider
- 2,361
- 2,085
Palum
what Suineg set it to
- 26,552
- 41,348
Lmao the lady bought some "expensive" frozen appetizers that were on sale to shove in the freezer for the holidays and the crab rangoons say "made with real cream cheese". I read that and was like cool, cool, I do like real cream cheese I suppose. Wait a minute.
What the fuck is fake cream cheese? I assume the crab is now hella fake. Fried wonton pocket with misc filling. These are now the hot dogs of americanized China.
What the fuck is fake cream cheese? I assume the crab is now hella fake. Fried wonton pocket with misc filling. These are now the hot dogs of americanized China.
- 1
- 1
Goatface
Avatar of War Slayer
- 9,890
- 15,691
OliveNation cream cheese emulsion is perfect for flavoring cheesecakes, cakes, cupcakes, fondant, frostings, fillings, and beverages.
Thick Formulation from Water, PG, Xanthan Gum, Citric Acid, Sodium Benzoate
sure someone makes something that that looks/tastes like cream cheese just like processed "american slices"
- 1
- 1