Whats rustling your jimmies?

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Kais

<Gold Donor>
880
1,630
Violently ill christmas eve, limp home after christmas morning presents. Boughts of diarrhea most of the day. Texts throughout the day about how my nephews wish i was there. Ugh
 
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popsicledeath

Potato del Grande
7,547
11,831
Gift cards rustle my jimmies. They aren't gifts, they're just private tender. It's more appropriate for Hanukkah.



Arguably worse is my girlfriend's father who has devolved into giving cash, but then telling you where and how to spend it. Even to the point of saying something like "take this 20 to that restaurant you like to get a burger" as if it'll somehow only spend properly if you use that very bill for the item specified.

Then later, he'll check, asking if you spent the precise money gifted at the place specified, and want to know what you got.... as if he's keping some ledger.

He intended to give us $10 for the dog's treat stocking next time we saw him, so had my girlfriend call later after the pet store with a confirmation we did spend the money, and what on, so he could give us the tenner the next day.

Hasn't explicitly asked for receipts yet, so it can and probably will get more bizarre.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
24,279
65,282
I just got a haircut and the barber shop had Discovery channel on.

From the moment I sat down and told the barber what I wanted, to the moment I stood up and paid him, nothing played on the TV except for commercials. Non-stop commercials over the entire course of the haircut.
 
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lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
46,660
214,840
I had a family member show up. Unannounced. He wanted to come for new years because we always have such a good party. I do not like this family member, he's a complete fuck up, and constantly asks his siblings for money. Doesn't have a permanent job, is 40 years old. And now he's here. I told him flat out that he should go home (about 1 hour away), he laughed it off, and my wife told him to put his stuff in the guest room. He has been sitting in front of our television since he's been here. My wife says to ignore him for a couple days and then he'll disappear, which is true. However, he's such a douche canoe that I really don't want him here. All five kids are home, so we were already pretty full.

Don't you wish you could choose your family?
 

Fucker

Log Wizard
12,662
28,789
I had a family member show up. Unannounced. He wanted to come for new years because we always have such a good party. I do not like this family member, he's a complete fuck up, and constantly asks his siblings for money. Doesn't have a permanent job, is 40 years old. And now he's here. I told him flat out that he should go home (about 1 hour away), he laughed it off, and my wife told him to put his stuff in the guest room. He has been sitting in front of our television since he's been here. My wife says to ignore him for a couple days and then he'll disappear, which is true. However, he's such a douche canoe that I really don't want him here. All five kids are home, so we were already pretty full.

Don't you wish you could choose your family?
I unchose mine. I unchose everyone whose lives weren't on an upward trajectory.

Tell him to grab his shit and get out. Being related doesn't mean he's family, and he's only there to sponge off you.
 
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RobXIII

Urinal Cake Consumption King
<Gold Donor>
3,852
2,224
I had a family member show up. Unannounced. He wanted to come for new years because we always have such a good party. I do not like this family member, he's a complete fuck up, and constantly asks his siblings for money. Doesn't have a permanent job, is 40 years old. And now he's here. I told him flat out that he should go home (about 1 hour away), he laughed it off, and my wife told him to put his stuff in the guest room. He has been sitting in front of our television since he's been here. My wife says to ignore him for a couple days and then he'll disappear, which is true. However, he's such a douche canoe that I really don't want him here. All five kids are home, so we were already pretty full.

Don't you wish you could choose your family?

Welll? Are you having a good party this year?

bored waiting GIF
 

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
25,430
49,056
I had a family member show up. Unannounced. He wanted to come for new years because we always have such a good party. I do not like this family member, he's a complete fuck up, and constantly asks his siblings for money. Doesn't have a permanent job, is 40 years old. And now he's here. I told him flat out that he should go home (about 1 hour away), he laughed it off, and my wife told him to put his stuff in the guest room. He has been sitting in front of our television since he's been here. My wife says to ignore him for a couple days and then he'll disappear, which is true. However, he's such a douche canoe that I really don't want him here. All five kids are home, so we were already pretty full.

Don't you wish you could choose your family?
Is he your relative or your wife's relative?

If mine I'd tell him to gtfo. If wife's I'd tell her to tell him to gtfo. The way my wife and I do our house is either of us have a veto about who comes over or who stays. It helps that we both basically hate having people at our house.
 
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lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
46,660
214,840
Is he your relative or your wife's relative?

If mine I'd tell him to gtfo. If wife's I'd tell her to tell him to gtfo. The way my wife and I do our house is either of us have a veto about who comes over or who stays. It helps that we both basically hate having people at our house.

Wife's brother. I actually told him to get out just a little bit ago. Told him what I thought of him, and told him he can never come again without discussion and consent. He tried to punch me. He's big, fat, and slow. I avoided, he fell. My wife helped him up and then punched him in the face. He left immediately.

This is very outside my world. I usually have my family shit together. My youngest son asked if Uncle ******** was ever coming again. I told him I doubt it, and he replied with "Oh thanks be praised." (Thanks be praised is a family joke we do.) When a 15 year old decides he never wants to see you again I think you should make better life choices.

So, to be honest, this has gone from a jimmy rustle to a huge win. I hope I never see him again.
 
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Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
25,430
49,056
Wife's brother. I actually told him to get out just a little bit ago. Told him what I thought of him, and told him he can never come again without discussion and consent. He tried to punch me. He's big, fat, and slow. I avoided, he fell. My wife helped him up and then punched him in the face. He left immediately.

This is very outside my world. I usually have my family shit together. My youngest son asked if Uncle ******** was ever coming again. I told him I doubt it, and he replied with "Oh thanks be praised." (Thanks be praised is a family joke we do.) When a 15 year old decides he never wants to see you again I think you should make better life choices.

So, to be honest, this has gone from a jimmy rustle to a huge win. I hope I never see him again.
Good outcome. Only event like that I had was at my wedding my brother came and brought his trailer-park girlfriend at the time and she caused a disturbance. My wife's dad asked me if I objected to her being thrown out (which would definitely result in my brother being thrown out as well) and I said nope, their behavior their problem. The restaurant we were at handled it and asked them to leave and they did. No punches thrown, but it would have been funnier if they did. Hah.

Shitty family members definitely jimmy-rustling. Life is too short to put up with these kind of idiots.
 
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Fucker

Log Wizard
12,662
28,789
Wife's brother. I actually told him to get out just a little bit ago. Told him what I thought of him, and told him he can never come again without discussion and consent. He tried to punch me. He's big, fat, and slow. I avoided, he fell. My wife helped him up and then punched him in the face. He left immediately.

This is very outside my world. I usually have my family shit together. My youngest son asked if Uncle ******** was ever coming again. I told him I doubt it, and he replied with "Oh thanks be praised." (Thanks be praised is a family joke we do.) When a 15 year old decides he never wants to see you again I think you should make better life choices.

So, to be honest, this has gone from a jimmy rustle to a huge win. I hope I never see him again.
This is the only way to deal with fuck ups. Make them gone and make them stay gone. I did that a long time ago, and I am sure I am not missing out on anything. The thing with adults who are fuck ups is they never stop being fuck ups, and eventually they'll bring the stink around to your household unless you give them the business end of a boot.

Not to mention that it is fun being a dick to people who deserve it.
 
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Tsar Bomba

Trakanon Raider
565
1,868
I just got a haircut and the barber shop had Discovery channel on.

From the moment I sat down and told the barber what I wanted, to the moment I stood up and paid him, nothing played on the TV except for commercials. Non-stop commercials over the entire course of the haircut.
As someone who works in television that sounds like their Air Playout server crapped the bed. We have a backup plan if ours ever goes out and it plays pretty much spots/I.Ds off of a tape machine old school style. Runs over 30 minutes. Ususally we can get everything restarted in that time frame.
 

RobXIII

Urinal Cake Consumption King
<Gold Donor>
3,852
2,224
Wife's brother. I actually told him to get out just a little bit ago. Told him what I thought of him, and told him he can never come again without discussion and consent. He tried to punch me. He's big, fat, and slow. I avoided, he fell. My wife helped him up and then punched him in the face. He left immediately.

This is very outside my world. I usually have my family shit together. My youngest son asked if Uncle ******** was ever coming again. I told him I doubt it, and he replied with "Oh thanks be praised." (Thanks be praised is a family joke we do.) When a 15 year old decides he never wants to see you again I think you should make better life choices.

So, to be honest, this has gone from a jimmy rustle to a huge win. I hope I never see him again.


It's a shame that kiddo doesn't have a fat yet fun Uncle, but he's better off with no uncle sounds like.

Drop It John Candy GIF by Laff
 
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Goatface

Avatar of War Slayer
9,892
15,696
was going to a nearby small town bonfire/ball drop last night. needed at few things from wal-mart, so figured would go there, do a little walking and a little shopping. call to see what time they are closing, lady says, "11pm as normal"
we get there at 10, soon as walk through the door, announcement "store will be closing in 25 mins"
 

zombiewizardhawk

Potato del Grande
9,883
12,816
Lol, I got fired last night because I told my boss I wasn't gonna stay 2 hours late to do inventory and now today I find out he's telling everyone I was yelling at him and quit etc.
 
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