Whats rustling your jimmies?

Gravy

Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
458
I swim at the YMCA, and the lockerroom is full of old dudes, older than me even! I'm talking the 70 year old plus dudes that walk around without a towel since the last fuck they gave was in 1982. It's lead me to coin the term OMB, or Old Man Butt. I'm not sure what happens in your 60's but evidently your ass deflates to look like two very sad balloons hanging from your waist.

Having said all that, I can't wait until all my fucks have been given.
 
Abefroman

Abefroman

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
12,597
11,941
Old people who slow down lines chatting with every fucking checkout person because even their cats don't want to talk to them anymore.
 
J

Jobitz_sl

shitlord
116
0
Abefroman_sl said:
Old people who slow down lines chatting with every fucking checkout person because even their cats don't want to talk to them anymore.
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I always think of the episode of The Simpsons when Apu is living with the family and tells Marge about avoiding the "10 items or less/speedy lane" because it is always full of old bachelors trying to hit on the mildly attractive cashier.
 
Xequecal

Xequecal

Trump's Staff
11,559
-2,388
Dudebro_sl said:
I got a new cell phone number 6 years ago.

The previous persons debt collectors are still harassing me to this day. I have a silent ring tone group I add them to every time a new one starts in but FML.
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The place I bought was a foreclosure. I get tons of threatening letters addressed to the previous occupants. Also, twice now I have had two very large, in-shape men show up at my front door asking if I am the previous owner. Both times they wanted to see ID when I told them he hasn't lived here for years and the place was foreclosed on. Not knowing if they were cops or pissed off drug dealers, I did it both times.
 
Aaron

Aaron

Goonsquad Officer
<Silver Donator>
9,334
22,730
Xequecal_sl said:
The place I bought was a foreclosure. I get tons of threatening letters addressed to the previous occupants. Also, twice now I have had two very large, in-shape men show up at my front door asking if I am the previous owner. Both times they wanted to see ID when I told them he hasn't lived here for years and the place was foreclosed on. Not knowing if they were cops or pissed off drug dealers, I did it both times.
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Can't you ask to see their IDs?

Anyway, my recent Jimmy rustling: Women with long fingernails. I swear to god the longer the nails are the greater the chance they are going to be piss poor at their job. Ran into two yesterday. One was a receptionist that could barely type and kept telling me "the computer keeps teasing me" while she tried entering the information in 3-4 times. The second was a cashier at a supermarket who couldn't open a roll of coins, handed it to me and asked if I could open it. She wasn't even serving me, I was next in line. I took the roll and bashed it on the counter to crack the paper. That shut her up. And who the fuck finds 1+cm long nails attractive anyway?
 
taebin

taebin

Same trailer, different park
973
450
New addition to old naked guys at gym: old naked guy at gym who walks over to bathroom counter, plugs in blow dryer, and literally blow dries his balls for 2-3 minutes. Then saunters over to the scale to see what he's coming in at today, then returns to the blow dryer to finish off his sack. Fucking old people, die.
 
cabbitcabbit

cabbitcabbit

NeoGaf Donator
2,687
8,381
Xequecal_sl said:
The place I bought was a foreclosure. I get tons of threatening letters addressed to the previous occupants. Also, twice now I have had two very large, in-shape men show up at my front door asking if I am the previous owner. Both times they wanted to see ID when I told them he hasn't lived here for years and the place was foreclosed on. Not knowing if they were cops or pissed off drug dealers, I did it both times.
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Two strangers accost you at your own home and you just fold faster than superman on laundry day?
 
Johnny53

Johnny53

Vyemm Raider
5,154
1,473
at lunch i went and picked up my hooker and we drove back towards where i work, figuring we would park along the river, do our business and i could drop her off at the train to get back to the city, every 2 minutes a jogger, a dogwalker, kids on their bikes interuptting my plans....couldn't bang my hooker overlooking a scenic river....JIMMIES RUSTLED
 
Jim Russel

Jim Russel

Lord Nagafen Raider
509
50
Johnny49_sl said:
at lunch i went and picked up my hooker and we drove back towards where i work, figuring we would park along the river, do our business and i could drop her off at the train to get back to the city, every 2 minutes a jogger, a dogwalker, kids on their bikes interuptting my plans....couldn't bang my hooker overlooking a scenic river....JIMMIES RUSTLED
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Seriously, fuck people who use public space for recreation.
 
Xequecal

Xequecal

Trump's Staff
11,559
-2,388
cabbitcabbit_sl said:
Two strangers accost you at your own home and you just fold faster than superman on laundry day?
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Of course. I have no idea what shit the previous owner might have been into. Yeah, they were probably just undercover cops, private investigators, or unscrupulous debt collectors, but what if they're from some kind of organized crime that thinks the guy is still hiding out here? These guys were built like linebackers, probably 250 lbs each all muscle.
 
Famm

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
11,041
794
Phone books, "The Yellow Book", yellow pages, etc. No one uses this shit anymore. Stop leaving copies of this garbage at my front door.
 
C

Chesire_sl

shitlord
331
1
Xequecal_sl said:
Of course. I have no idea what shit the previous owner might have been into. Yeah, they were probably just undercover cops, private investigators, or unscrupulous debt collectors, but what if they're from some kind of organized crime that thinks the guy is still hiding out here? These guys were built like linebackers, probably 250 lbs each all muscle.
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oven cleaner and a solid framing hammer easily accessible or a peephole.
cause it is not always feasible to launch a pound of lead out of the winchester 97 in residential areas
tongue.png


actually I always wanted a lancaster pistol , cause nothing says get the fuck off my porch like 4 barrels full of one ounce slugs in yo face
 
Xequecal

Xequecal

Trump's Staff
11,559
-2,388
Chesire_sl said:
oven cleaner and a solid framing hammer easily accessible or a peephole.
cause it is not always feasible to launch a pound of lead out of the winchester 97 in residential areas
tongue.png


actually I always wanted a lancaster pistol , cause nothing says get the fuck off my porch like 4 barrels full of one ounce slugs in yo face
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...what?
 
Mures

Mures

Blackwing Lair Raider
4,014
511
Chesire_sl said:
violence gets shit done
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It also gets you arrested, no clue what you are trying to say, that you should shoot the person or booby trap your porch to spray them with oven cleaner or something, but either way it is assault and you can be arrested for it even though they are on your property. Even throwing a glass of water on someone can be considered assault.
 
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