X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Jait_sl said:

Granted I watched the pirated version but this was shit.I'll still catch it in theaters, probably twice.But man...bad choices all around. About 10 good minutes out of 2 hours, and for the first time Isaacs was awful too.

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Can't explain that.

Jait_sl said:

Really? You obviously don't have kids.

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Not yet, but when I do, I'll be able to tell them that they can wait for a rental, or some other such. Life lessons such as not supporting trash like this monetarily (not to mention patience) can begin as early as they can understand English.

ohkcrlho_sl said:

The movie wasn't great but not terrible either. 7/10
Someone pointed out here that, in the end, the power of friendship won. Well, i was expecting something a corny shit like Guardians of the Galaxy (love the movie but the holding hands finale was bad) but it made sense. They were team and someone always watching for each other. Apocalypse didn't care about anyone,not even for his "beloved" 4 horsemen.


Negative:
- ivan ooze, aka Apocalypse : the voice was not good or menacing (only when he was on powerful mode was good ), his actions were like meh.....not a great villain at all.
- jlaw: yup...and the reson they explained why she wasn't Mystique the whole time....lulz. and making her the leader. ..oh give me a fucking break.
- the pacing: it was disjointed, off, and there was no build up. Just speeches and lectures, some "action" scenes in the middle and that was it.

Positive:
- jean grey: yup...i had LOW expectations about Sansa Stark being jean grey but i think she did fine. And finaly i saw jean using her powers in a non stupid way.
- fassebender: damn really love the guy and his performance as Erik/ Magneto.
- wolverine: did his part, didn't have him too much attention.

About the end credit scene:

Spoiler

that was to create x-23 or something else?

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My opinions almost exactly, though the JLaw shit was my biggest letdown, esp after how well they used her in DofP. And while dialog and exposition was criminally absent with Apocalypse, at least we finally got another comic book movie where the crisis wasn't something the heroes caused themselves. Having an actual villain instead of heroes fighting each other was a nice change from the last two years.

Inque_sl said:

Yea, couple websites with it up. Movie was boring. Lots of talk, little action, and Apocalypse was a HUGE Fail

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Actually had the opposite problem. Not enough plot and too much CGI jizzfest action scenes.

This movie was absolute dogshit.

How can anyone, let alone a movie director/producer, watch Civil War and then think that this is on a similar level? I realize the movie was already done by then, but I'd have gone to Fox and bombed the originals out of existence or something after seeing Civil War if I were responsible for this hunk of shit.

Sure, there were some good moments. And my theater actually had a lot of people fucking clapping at the ending! What. The. Fuck? The fat nerd in front of me sounded like he was having orgasms through most of the movie. During Quicksilver's scene he was literally guffawing. I've never felt the need to use the word guffaw before in my life, but there is no other way to describe the sounds he was making. And I'm pretty sure he came J49 machine-gun style when Wolverine came on screen. This is the guy that recognized the Doctor Strange trailer from seeing .5 seconds of it, and was visibly sighing when there were too many previews that he didn't care about. So apparently a bunch of people liked it. And I can already tell that the limited intellect people I work with will like it because 'splosions.

But it was a steaming pile of shit outside of a few decent things, which included:
The 10 minutes of Magneto not being Magneto at the beginning (yes, that is actually the GOOD part, even though objectively speaking it would have normally been considered subpar).
Some of Nightcrawler's scenes and personality were cool/endearing, and I am fine with him as the character going forward.
Xavier was ok, and his acting was pretty decent considering what he was given, but he'd probably do ok acting a dog food commercial (and it might be more entertaining than this).
Havok and Beast were solid. When the guy from a Taylor Swift video is one of your finest actors, I think that says a lot about your movie.
Cyclops was ok, although I feel there is a lot more potential in that character than what they did with it. Still, I'd be ok with that guy continuing the role I suppose. (I have to Lyrical-out for a moment and complain that there is no fucking way Storm's lightning and Cyclops' eye beams should be able to do that "we're both pushing against each other's power in a stalemate" like they do with Superman's heat vision, every magician fight, etc. His eye beams are pure kinetic force, which shouldn't give one flying fuck about some electricity being thrown at it. But whatever, I get that it looked cool, and that it is just a movie. And it is nowhere close to being the worst thing in the movie!)
The parts where Storm is not a Horseman (3 minutes) were ok, and she is clearly a great choice to play Ororo, they just stuck her in a godawful movie so who cares if she was any good?
SOME of Quicksilver's part was good/great, and I'm sure I'll get crucified for saying this, but much of his part was clearly trying too hard to recapture the magic of the first time they did it, but it just came off as silly and ridiculous...I'm talking Legolas sliding down an elephant ridiculous...I'm not joking. Everyone in the theater was cheering and laughing (I laughed a couple times), so maybe I'm the one that was wrong?
Jean Grey at the very end was good, but until then she was pretty mediocre. Not terrible, but not good. However, at the end
Of course pretty much the rest of it was turrible.
Psylocke looked great, but was almost completely worthless and could have been replaced with any other random mutant and achieved the same effect. It has already been pointed out, but if this is her idea of female-empowerment...<Nelson-haha.jpg>
Angel looked like dogshit. I will go more into him and the overall look of the film in a minute.
Mystique (the blue one) actually looks like she's getting worse looking from film to film, but it could be my growing hatred of her, I'll admit.
Jubilee and the others. Why were they even in the movie other than to make people that know them say they recognized them? I almost think that deleted scene at the mall should have been left in because I sort of feel that four mutants romping around the mall would have been more entertaining than 90% of the movie.
The fact that ten years passed since DoFP is also pretty fucking retarded, as no one actually looks like ten years has passed. Particularly people like Quicksilver.
Wolverine cameo was ok, but mostly dumb, and mostly gratuitous with no reason to be there other than to tease him in the trailers. Sure, he played a role in the plot, but it could have been done a thousand different ways with different characters.
Apocalypse was terrible, and I wanted to like him too.

Oh, and the plot was probably written down in about 3 lines on the back of a napkin somewhere. In crayon. By someone's 6-year old daughter.

The biggest thing that bothered me about the whole movie though (other than the actual plot) was the whole look. I know that when I say "realism" in relation to a comic book movie it might not make sense, but you guys know what I mean. When I watch Falcon fly around in MCU movies, not once does it even enter my mind to think that he isn't really a guy with wings strapped on flying around and doing all that crazy shit. He looks completely real and completely natural. When War Machine landed on the freeway to break up the fight between Cap, Winter Soldier, and Black Panther, I really felt like a dude in a massive metal suit thunked down on the asphalt and was ready to fuck some people up. Even Hulk, who is probably the most likely to break the immersion for people, looks like he belongs in the screen with everyone else. But most of the scenes in Apocalypse made me look for the discrepancies. The scenes with Angel were just horrible. Particularly the scenes before he Archangels up, his CGI looks like shit and I literally feel like I should be looking for the wires. He looks awkward and fake. Psylocke looked much the same way in her powered up scenes. Even some of the Quicksilver scenes looked horribly and blatantly CGI.

And the colors. BvS was too dark. This one was too, bright isn't the right word. Garish maybe? Again, maybe I'm spoiled by MCU and Civil War in particular, but GotG had striking colors and still came off looking "real" to me. Apocalypse just looked like someone turned the color up to 11 because "comic books." It looked wrong and off to me. Combine that with the CGI that took me out of many scenes, and the whole movie just looked bad to me. I actually rate the look of BvS higher than this one. Sure it was too grimdark, but at least dark is closer to reality than 4-color comic panels brought to life. And I didn't question most of the effects in BvS like I did this one.

On the plus side, if you like explosions and senseless destruction on a cataclysmic scale (but as mentioned, only of buildings ("They like to go for the landmarks!")) and you don't care about silly things like story or character, you'll love this movie!

I still think I might rate this slightly higher than BvS overall, but I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe just because I like the X-Men more, or because I could see a few ways it might have been better, or...fuck, I don't know. Maybe it isn't any better. Severely disappointed no matter what.

EDIT: Jesus, sorry for the TL;DR. I guess I had a lot of angst built up over this movie!