You know you're getting old when.....

RobXIII · Nov 24, 2015

haus_sl said:
The mathing....
Me == 46
Wife == 42
Friend == 23

They met through a mutual hobby of theirs. She's actually really cool to have around. Just interesting to joke around about being twice her age.

WHO AMONG US hasn't rubbed one out at least once to each of our wives friends*

*ok, havent done one to the 400lb diabetic
**yet

lurker · Nov 24, 2015

JVIRUS_sl said:
When you find blood in your semen after jacking off. I should go buy a cane and an ascot cap.

I don't care how old you are, that ain't right. Dust maybe, but not blood.

lurkingdirk · Nov 24, 2015

Dust in your semen seems reasonable to you?

Hoss · Nov 24, 2015

I've had dry heaves, but no dust.

I've had blood too, but it was coming from the underside of my dick where I rubbed it raw. This is not a 'getting old' issue though, it's more of a 'young and so horny I had the shakes' issue. So it probably doesn't apply.

WHITE PENIS_sl · Nov 24, 2015

You realize that you have a sense of pride about not knowing and not giving a fuck about what is popular anymore

Malakriss · Nov 24, 2015

You do find out what is popular these days and could not care less about it.

Shonuff · Nov 24, 2015

Iannis_sl said:
... forum bro's start to die of natural, unfreak, causes.

I also barely remember the aughts.

Yup. And it sucks.

Kreugen · Nov 25, 2015

You can't remember if you used shampoo.

Or if you'd posted that one already the last time it happened.

Soygen · Nov 25, 2015

RobXIII_sl said:
WHO AMONG US hasn't rubbed one out at least once to each of our wives friends*

*ok, havent done one to the 400lb diabetic
**yet

Honestly, I don't jerk off to thoughts of real people/fantasy. I need to see filthy porn to do the job.

Hoss · Nov 25, 2015

You should post some pictures of your wife's friends in the who's that girl thread and let royal find a porn star that looks just like them.

Cross that line soy.

Gamma Rays · Nov 26, 2015

Win win situation there.

I worked with a girl a little while back that looked kinda like Skin Diamond . . . Oh yeah.

Hoss · Nov 26, 2015

Pulled (or strained or whatever ... never could remember the difference) my shoulder during thanksgiving. Happened as soon as I got there so I spent the rest of the day eating and watching the cowboys get curb stomped with a heating pad and biofreeze all over my back. All I was doing was holding the lid of the crock pot getting some wassel.

I guess how quick it heals will tell me how old I really am.

WHITE PENIS_sl · Dec 9, 2015

You nod off while fast forwarding through commercials on the dvr

Chesire_sl · Dec 9, 2015

Instead of admiring your thriftiness , people snicker at your vintage pan tech breeze flip phone

Borzak · Dec 14, 2015

When a friend becomes a grandfather. You think his kid must have had a kid at age 15. My friend had a kid at 24 and his daughter had one at 22. I'm old.

Gravy · Dec 15, 2015

You receive the deed for your burial plot in the mail.

Void · Dec 15, 2015

Gravy_sl said:
You receive the deed for your burial plot in the mail.

Jesus man

I hope you have a great holidays man, and get a chance to spend tons of time with family and friends.

Dioblaire · Dec 15, 2015

Gravy_sl said:
You receive the deed for your burial plot in the mail.

And Gravy pulls out the trump card and wins the thread. GG, guys.

Gravy · Dec 15, 2015

Yeah, that really wasn't fair. Too much Debbie Downer. I've got a really bad ear hair situation going.

Brikker · Dec 15, 2015

Are you even old, though?

You know you're getting old when.....

Urinal Cake Consumption King

Vyemm Raider

AssHat Taint

Make America's Team Great Again

shitlord

Golden Baronet of the Realm

Mr. Poopybutthole

Vyemm Raider

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One

Make America's Team Great Again

Large sized member

Make America's Team Great Again

shitlord

shitlord

Bronze Baron of the Realm

Bronze Squire

Experiencer

And now my Watch has ended...

Bronze Squire

Trump's Staff