OK with that Eli TD my title should be official. Hate time!
I hope the entire Dolphins D targets Brady's knee and it explodes so violently that the audience mass-vomits Stand By Me style. Except Cameron Wake, I want him to go in to the stands and punch Gisele and take their newest baby and spike it Gronk style. On concrete.
I hope that piece of shit Donkeykong Sue goes on a rampage and bites Cutler's dick off and has to be subdued at midfield by a team of professionals with nets and tranq guns.
I hope Houston and Indy tie and after the game when Schaub and Luck are engaging the the whitest high five ever they simultaneously discover they've both had that Mr. Glass brittle bone disease shit and it's only been discovered when both their forearms give out and they're left flapping their hands around like those paddle ball games.
I hope Carolina and New Orleans play a perfectly entertaining game with no controversy. And after the game Brees discovers that his wife has been getting deepdicked by Cam Newton for years and he goes on a rampage and kills his entire family and Cam before turning the gun on himself. Simultaneously dooming the Panthers franchise for years and tainting any slight remaining goodwill left over from the already tainted Saints Super Bowl.
I hope Eli Manning's Down's syndrome goes undiagnosed for one more week so they let him play. Then I hope Brian Dawkins comes out of the tunnel mid-play with theme music and shit Stone Cole Steve Austin style and flies in to Eli's stupid knees and deals him a double Theismann. And then I hope Victor Cruz's whore mother tries to bring him some soup and the ghost of Jimmy Hoffa rapes her at midfield while Asomugha takes out his frustration at being so mediocre by stabbing Victor to death.
Fuck, I'm spent for now but I have plenty more hate for the rest of next week's games. If I missed your team don't worry, you can rest assured I wish nothing but bad things on them and I will express those horrible feelings.
