Annoying shit your wife does

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
popsicledeath

popsicledeath

Potato del Grande
7,547
11,831
Have a quick drop off paperwork type meeting. I don't know the exact time it will take but should be quick. But she doesn't want to wait so I suggest the market down the street because it's just a drop stuff off thing and on the way over she mentioned wanting nonstop at that particular store.

So 15 minutes later I'm done, text her. No reply. She can't go 3 minutes at dinner without checking her phone but like 10 minutes go by nothing. I call, no answer. She finally texts back. She's across town at some other market. Didn't see texts. Didn't hear phone. Etc.

Ended up waiting like 25 minutes to get picked up from my 15 minutes meeting. Didn't even bother asking wtf, because what's bothering point trying to figure it out?
 
  • 9Rustled
Reactions: 8 users
Kaou

Kaou

Molten Core Raider
78
27
Wife: i want to cut that tree down
me: ok?
wife: lets plant another tree to replace that old one
me: ok??
 
  • 6Rustled
  • 3Like
  • 2Faggotry
Reactions: 11 users
Marmac

Marmac

Molten Core Raider
1,467
101
mkopec said:
Sits on her ass all fucking day the days she does not work, which is all but two of them. Then does a few loads of laundry Sunday, then piles all of it on our recliner chair in the family room. It proceeds to sit there for a few days until the kids bitch about not having underwear and shit.
Click to expand...
Sounds pretty useless.
 
  • 1Ice Burn
Reactions: 1 user
Lanx

Lanx

<Prior Amod>
66,006
150,388
Malinatar said:
This must be a female thing in general but using a fucking dish/plate for goddamn everything. You really need a separate plate for 1 eggroll? Why not put it on the plate you are using? This isn't a restaurant where they do the dishes for you...
Click to expand...

I too will acquiesce and just use the extra god damn plate, it's like she finds joy in seeing stuff in different plates, even fucking sauces, yes i use ramekins for dipping sauce, yup ketchup gets squeezed into a ramekin, ,even though the ketchup is already in a ready to be delivered container...
 
A

a_skeleton_06

<Banned>
1,923
2,411
Am I the only one that doesn't hate grocery shopping? I find it to be a nice little hour long retreat in my weekend. Plus, I get our shit from Whole Foods which in LA looks like a staging area for Brazzers auditions. So much scattered ass.
 
  • 5Like
  • 2Faggotry
  • 1Hodjing
Reactions: 7 users
Lanx

Lanx

<Prior Amod>
66,006
150,388
a_skeleton_06 said:
Am I the only one that doesn't hate grocery shopping? I find it to be a nice little hour long retreat in my weekend. Plus, I get our shit from Whole Foods which in LA looks like a staging area for Brazzers auditions. So much scattered ass.
Click to expand...
I live 10s away from WholeFoods, literally across the street, 4pm and 6pm is the best time to browse WholeFoods, totally different crowd. The 4pm crowd is MILFS in yoga pants shop w/ their teenage daughters who also wear yoga pants, da fuq? 6pm is the single bitches who have just yoga'd or run, still in yoga pants shopping for 1 meal, for some reason they can't seem to buy a weeks worth of food.

Don't bother with anything before noon, usually these are cougars who still look good, but why bother, when the 4pm crowd is better.

btw, i don't shop at this WholeFoods, i don't like to be ripped off, i prefer to spend my money at the farmers market 10blocks away, where the clientele seems to be over the hill hispanic, but the produce is nice and fresh, still has dirt on it.

But holy shit? 1hour shopping? thats 30minutes/maybe 40minutes too long. Learn to make to make a list and follow it, you should be in and out in under 20minutes.
 
  • 1Solidarity
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 users
A

a_skeleton_06

<Banned>
1,923
2,411
Well, that hour includes my 10-15 minute each way drive. My wife actually makes a bomb list broken down by section of the store. I just usually take my time because of the aforementioned yoga pants and because there is generally a fuckton of people. No sense in trying to rush around and rustle up my jimmies.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user
Nester

Nester

Vyemm Raider
4,980
3,185
My wife calls every type of Pasta with Sauce Spaghetti.

I specificly am not fond of Spaghetti noodle as i find the long thiness a pain in the ass. I always prefer a Penne or a Fusilli as its the same thing in a more convienant shape.
For the last 12 years she has been asking me if i want Spaghetti for dinner and i respond NO, do we have any other type of pasta ? which we always do, and i dont even thing we buy spaghetti, she response oh i ment Penne...

Then stop calling it Spaghetti and just call it fucking Pasta. 12 years. Still Spaghetti.
 
  • 3Rustled
  • 2Like
  • 1Triggered
Reactions: 6 users
radditsu

radditsu

Silver Knight of the Realm
4,676
826
Nester said:
My wife calls every type of Pasta with Sauce Spaghetti.

I specificly am not fond of Spaghetti noodle as i find the long thiness a pain in the ass. I always prefer a Penne or a Fusilli as its the same thing in a more convienant shape.
For the last 12 years she has been asking me if i want Spaghetti for dinner and i respond NO, do we have any other type of pasta ? which we always do, and i dont even thing we buy spaghetti, she response oh i ment Penne...

Then stop calling it Spaghetti and just call it fucking Pasta. 12 years. Still Spaghetti.
Click to expand...


Mom's Spaghetti
 
Soygen

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,517
45,019
That's why I offer neck support by wrapping my hands around their throat.
 
  • 3Like
  • 1Jew
  • 1Haram
Reactions: 4 users
Nirgon

Nirgon

Log Wizard
14,213
22,967
Yeah well however it goes

If your wife can get you off faster than you can do it yourself, she's an instant keeper

And that is no small feat

Reminds me of the Coach purse challenge. Not sure if you are already familiar with it.

If she can deep throat you and lick one of your nuts or both while in the process of doing it, you are obligated to buy her one. Not sure who told me this but seems legit. Perhaps it
was invented as a way of training her to kill her gag reflex for something she wants.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.