Big Trouble In Little China Remake

Terial

Trakanon Raider
1,269
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2 more i just found that are not on the list that are going to be remade:
- Wargame
- Porky's

how the hell can you remake these.... you just leave them alone.
wargames: modern day tech makes this stupid to remake
Porky's, they don't even show much frontal nudity anymore in films, this will end up being animated and about a fucking pig. damn you Hollywood
 

Jait

Molten Core Raider
5,035
5,317
Was Eagle Eye about a nerdy kid and a dirty slut fucking their way across the country while playing games like Tic Tac Toe and Global Thermal Nuclear Destruction with a primitive AI before hooking up with Bobby Fischer's down-syndrome brother and saving the world from nuclear destruction?

If so, I want to watch it.
 

Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
14,181
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Blatantly offensive non PC western comedy with modern jokes. McFarland basically said the movie was a homage to Blazing Saddles in the commentary. I agree that the whole black sheriff gag is one that will never be repeated, though.
 

Malakriss

Golden Baronet of the Realm
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Was Eagle Eye about a nerdy kid and a dirty slut fucking their way across the country while playing games like Tic Tac Toe and Global Thermal Nuclear Destruction with a primitive AI before hooking up with Bobby Fischer's down-syndrome brother and saving the world from nuclear destruction?

If so, I want to watch it.
You must be in the wrong thread, this is the thread where your hope is crushed and dreams left in ruins.
 

Alex

Still a Music Elitist
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7,471
Blazing Saddles is a fucking classic. So damn good. No movie like that will ever be made again.
 

Profundis

Silver Knight of the Realm
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3
Found some more. I just don't get some of these (Soapdish?)

Soapdish
Three Men and a Baby
Stephen King's It (Director just left this recently, so not sure what is going on with it)
The Craft
another Frankenstein remake
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Some of these lists are pretty old, so there is shit like a Warriors remake that was going to be made by Tony Scott, but then he killed himself.

Because someone mentioned it earlier, re: Akira (for what it's worth, this is from a 2012 list) - Katsuhiro Otomo's 1988 masterpiece "Akira" is considered one of the seminal films in the history of anime, and animation in general. The cartoon, though, only covered a small portion of the original comic book series, something Warner Bros. is looking to capitalize on with a series of films that presents the entire story ? in live action. "Iron Man" scribes Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby have written a script that was set to be filmed by director Jaume Collet-Serra ("Orphan") beginning this past March, but disputes over the budget ended up scuttling it. Just when Akira and company will finally spring to life (or live action, anyway) is now up in the air once again.
 

Devlin

Golden Squire
832
9
To be fair the original IT was a TV movie/mini series so it doesn't quality anyway IMO.

Why don't they at the very most call them sequels, why shit on the originals all the time.
 

Abefroman

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
12,588
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If they are just going to remake everything they need to get on remaking the fucking Star Wars Prequels. At least some good could come out of this.
 

Homsar

Silver Baronet of the Realm
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7,582
I still dont get why people think the first Tron is good, that movie is un watchable for me these days. But yeah, go back and remake movies that are awful now, is commando a cult film? I know the movie is hilariously awful but is that considered a cult classic? Im surprised Weekend at bernies isnt rebooted now that I think of it.

Im sure all the other low budget films like Judgement Night, Lost Boys, People under the Stairs, surviving the game ect will be rebooted soon
 

Chukzombi

Millie's Staff Member
71,973
213,273
2 more i just found that are not on the list that are going to be remade:
- Wargame
- Porky's

how the hell can you remake these.... you just leave them alone.
wargames: modern day tech makes this stupid to remake
Porky's, they don't even show much frontal nudity anymore in films, this will end up being animated and about a fucking pig. damn you Hollywood
war games had a sequel about 7 years ago and it was actually not that bad. i watched it all and still had my childhood intact
WarGames: The Dead Code (Video 2008) - IMDb
 

Agraza

Registered Hutt
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521
Honestly I'd be down for a WarGames reboot. The original didn't really get me going. They could make it super serious with a focus on adults and make it into a legit thriller.
 

Profundis

Silver Knight of the Realm
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3
I'm not against remakes on principle, but I mean, the movie should at least warrant a remake. I can't imagine there is a large pocket of the population clamoring for a Soapdish or All of Me or Overboard remake.

Take Commando, for example. While this movie certainly won't be shown in any type of "How to make a quality film" course in film school, that doesn't change the fact that it kicks ten shades of ass and I've watched it about 50 times and as cheesedick as it is, "Let off some steam, Bennett" and "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired" are the fucking best.

Now, I'm sure they can find any number of ripped, chiseled beefcake actors and throw in some intentionally bad puns to try and recapture the majesty that is Schwarzenegger's John Matrix, but come on. If some film exec has a hard on for remaking this, just fucking call it something else. It's not like the plot of "rescue kidnapped daughter from Colombian drug lord" hasn't been done 1000 times anyway in any number of Armand Assante or Dolph Lundgren movies.
 

Agraza

Registered Hutt
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There's always going to be a need to contemporize works that deal with issues which remain concerns of present day society. New generations are going to have more trouble associating themselves with dated films because of speech, dress, etc. I just dislike when they adjust the focus of a story and transform the premise when they update it. If it's a different story, call it something else. There is plenty of money to be made in updating a story and not massively fucking with it when you do.

It's not quite the same issue as torturing an original film via remake, but the fact that there are four movies derived from "I am Legend" and not a single one is actually true to the book is irksome. This book is pretty much the genesis of the modern zombie story, and a big influence behind "The Night of the Living Dead", the only derivative of the work that has become a classic. Matheson is like the Tolkien of the zombie story in that way, even though the book categorizes them as vampires, but we've yet to get a movie that actually tells the story in the spirit that it was written.
 

Xeldar

Silver Squire
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God damn loved this movie as a kid. This movie made a lot more sense once I started writing while yakked out.
 

Devlin

Golden Squire
832
9
I still dont get why people think the first Tron is good, that movie is un watchable for me these days. But yeah, go back and remake movies that are awful now, is commando a cult film? I know the movie is hilariously awful but is that considered a cult classic?
Same deal with Commando, it is what is is because of how absolutely ridiculous it is and how corny the lines are. Add bad acting and the fact those movies were genre defining action movies and they're guaranteed cult status.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Commando best of stupid scenes - YouTube