Dating

ToeMissile said:

You need to talk to her about this stuff that's at a minimum bugging you. Everyone has some sort of boundaries they want/need to maintain.

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her problem is she's very sensitive to everything. i was at the supermarket today and its very hot and humid outside. i saw some random fat lady leaving the store with a gallon tub of ice cream in her arms. no other food. just the massive bucket of ice cream. i texted my girl "omg this fat lady just left the Stop N Shop with a giant tub of ice cream and nothing else, God bless her" and i thought she would laugh about it, instead i get, "its not nice to call fat people fat". my jokes almost never land with her. so i got to be careful of what it say because anything can upset her. if i tell her. "stop moving my shit around, you're making me crazy." it's liable to break her brain.

You honestly sound like you hate this woman and should break it off. Everything you post about her you dislike and that she doesnt understand X about you. Move on my man.

Chukzombi said:

a question for the fellas. do any of you even like living with a woman? i'm not saying sleeping with a woman, but the actual cohabitation of the same structure with one?

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Yes. Been living with my wife for almost 20 years and it keeps getting better.

Control said:

Yes, but there's always some give and take. If it's important to me that something is a certain way, I make that very clear, but I also try to keep the number of things I insist on pretty small. And then I try my best not to give much of a fuck about all the rest.

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This is the way.

Chukzombi said:

her problem is she's very sensitive to everything.... my jokes almost never land with her. so i got to be careful of what it say because anything can upset her. if i tell her. "stop moving my shit around, you're making me crazy." it's liable to break her brain.

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Sounds like you aren't a good match. IMO if a relationship feels like work you should move on.

Animosity said:

You honestly sound like you hate this woman and should break it off. Everything you post about her you dislike and that she doesnt understand X about you. Move on my man.

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to be fair, i only highlight her negatives. she can be so funny and affectionate at times. this is SOP for a lot of the women i attract. i'm not a ball of joy to get along with either. i more or less just post this stuff for validation that i'm not being an unreasonable person over her actions. she's younger than me by about 8 years and so i try to be more understanding. i'm really trying here, this chick has her really good days and then she has her days where she is just a cunt.

Captain Suave said:

Yes. Been living with my wife for almost 20 years and it keeps getting better.



This is the way.



Sounds like you aren't a good match. IMO if a relationship feels like work you should move on.

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ive pondered this. we dont really match in a lot of ways. she isnt even a conservative. most of my girls have been super conservative. moreso than me at times. so i say things that any normal chick wouldnt take the wrong way, but this one seems to get up in her feels about stuff. the thing is, she's attracted to me, she contacted me out of the blue. i didnt know her previously to our relationship. we just met up and started dating/kissing/fucking. is that normal? i dont even know anymore. all i know is that any serious relationship i had was over time and i had to bring my A game on every date to earn that pussy. non serious ones all i needed was some booze. maybe thats best. just get drunk with bitches and have drunken sex and then there are no ties. i wasnt happy doing that, but maybe thats what i'm stuck having to do. i much rather be with a woman who wants to be with me. this bitch is crazy and neurotic, but she loves me.

I've been with my wife for 20 years so for the most part it doesn't bother me anymore those are just a few examples. That being said people who are into their late 30s or beyond and have lived alone a long time will find the transition more difficult.

Chukzombi said:

i much rather be with a woman who wants to be with me. this bitch is crazy and neurotic, but she loves me.

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Everybody's different of course, but this means a LOT imo. I know some people are all about the chase, but imo, your partner should be a source of relief, not stress (and vice-versa). If life isn't easier with her than without her, something is wrong.

Control said:

Everybody's different of course, but this means a LOT imo. I know some people are all about the chase, but imo, your partner should be a source of relief, not stress (and vice-versa). If life isn't easier with her than without her, something is wrong.

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most days there arent much stress, its when she has a hard day at work or her kids act up. then she is all ready to snap at everything. thats understandable, but she never tells me she was super stressed. only after her little outbursts. the next day she tells me, "I'm sorry honey, i had a very bad day yesterday" or similar and then we good again. but it doesnt erase the crazy way she acted. just that she is sorry it happened. we've probably broken up a half dozen times already. or it seems that way. i would get an angry text on a Monday. "YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE! GOODBYE. DONT BOTHER ME ANYMORE!" on Friday, my phone rings. "hey papito, where you been all week?". this is my life, lol

pharmakos said:

Bro I don't want to sound like a pussy by saying this, but you realize that is straight up emotional abuse, yeah?

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But with pussy. Mmmm, pussy.

pharmakos said:

She sounds like she's Ms. Right Now rather than Mrs. Right. Don't let pussy blind you.

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im not letting pussy blind me, that was my highschool sweetheart that i wanted very badly to get back with ( fuck it, i still do). this is the opposite. this girl cant quit me and its convenient because i dont have to go the extra mile to keep her. she likes me and i like that she likes me, i just dont like the side effects. i just want us to be together and no drama.

pharmakos said:

Bro I don't want to sound like a pussy by saying this, but you realize that is straight up emotional abuse, yeah?

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perhaps, i am impervious to that abuse, i just dont want her losing her chill all the time or moving around my stuff when she spends the night.

Chukzombi said:

i just dont like the side effects... i just want us to be together and no drama... i just dont want her losing her chill all the time or moving around my stuff when she spends the night.

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Sounds like this chick and drama-free are mutually exclusive.

pharmakos said:

Every relationship I've been in where the woman was the one that approached me has gone pretty poorly, despite the perks being similar to what chuk is describing. I think that's one of the ways where society has ended up making the sexes not equal... Most women have such an easy time finding a partner without even trying, that only the nutty ones go out looking like that.

Genuinely not bragging, because there's definitely cons to it, but -- I'm a pretty good looking dude with a very big dick, guitar player, etc. Got the stereotypical shallow/surface level things that women LIKE THAT go for. So I've been more exposed to that type of women than most dudes. And yeah, never had it work out in the long run. My only successful long term relationships were with women whom I approached.

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i think its a cultural thing. ive had women go for me, but its basically only hispanic girls, they are a lot less coy. my highschool sweetheart is Brazilian and i was a nerd in high school, but i was super into metal. so i'm walking to my next class, i had all the gear, denim jacket with Iron Maiden: "Killers" jacket patch, long hair, paratrooper boots, spike bracelets, skull earring in my left ear. skull rings, pentagram necklace, Ozzy rock t shirt. all things that are chick kryptonite. but this one girl sees me and runs up to me gushing about how much she loves Ozzy and Sabbath. my 14yr old self didnt know what the fuck to make of it. so i mentioned that i had all the Ozzy at my house including the new Ultimate Sin album. her eyes lit up. like almost like a light went on in her head. that afternoon she's in my bedroom and i'm fucking this girl to Shot In The Dark. we were together for three years. we even went to see Ozzy when his tour came to the area. i wasnt trying to keep her. we were just together all the time during school. she wasnt crazy then either, well she was crazy, but not the religion crazy that she is now. so sad.

pharmakos said:

I was a dork in high school. Lots of girls had crushes on me, I later found out, but I wasn't a "bad boy" by any means, so none of them were brave enough to make the first move. Wasn't until I made it to college and started turning into more of the bad boy type that those scenarios started happening.

Oh yeah in that list above of the superficial shit that made shallow women interested in me... I also was one of the only dudes in my college town that had access to the weird designer drugs from the internet. Dealt for awhile selling shit like mescaline analogues / MDMA analogues ("molly") / synthetic cannabinoids, etc. That was the period that was by far the easiest for me to score. Not that I'd straight up trade drugs for sex, just, y'know.

But yeah, pretty obvious in hindsight why that shit never worked out. I was never really interested in flings, I was always using flings as a way to find my long term partner. But obviously that's a pretty terrible way to find a quality woman.

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i wasnt trying to act like a bad boy, it didnt make me cool by dressing that way, i got called a devil worshiper and a weirdo by most kids for being a metalhead. i dressed like that because the local record store sold all that stuff and i saw musicians dressed up like that in music videos. cept for the boots. i loved those paratrooper boots i got in the army/navy store. this girl didnt give a shit that i looked that way, she saw me and my Ozzy shirt and it was like nothing else mattered. i should also mention she was dressed like a punk rocker herself including spiky hair so we pretty much were two peas in a pod.