Depression

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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Borzak said:
I've asked for anti depressants over and over from multiple doctors and specialist. I have no idea why I am depressed. Can't drive, can't work, can't walk at times, need to drink through a straw at times. Nothing.

I've been given tramadol, hydrocodine, oxycodine, oxycontin. No anti depressants. Finally yesterday a doctor can't straight give you anti depressants without you going through a flowchart checklist. Corporate BS has taken the ability of doctors to make a decision apparently. Dr. said Okay but I have to fill out this questionaire first to have it all recorded. He did not like at all when I told him the majority of my depression comes from dealing with BS like this and not my medical issues.

Ever feel like hurting yourself? Nope, doctors at times yes.
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Dude, you should be seeing a shrink/grief counselor already. Your body is dying, and you are in the 5 stages. That shit won't get any better until/if you get to acceptance.
 
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C

Captain Suave

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Oblio said:
What I really want to do though is look into micro dosing psilocybin
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I have a friend that did this. She grows and harvests her own mushrooms for predictability of dosage. She's been off antidepressants for 3-4 years and says it's made a world of difference.
 
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Oblio

Oblio

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moonarchia said:
But you're too busy to worry about it, right?
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I know you are joking but this is totally my MO. When depression starts to hit I take on way more than I can possibly handle. It works for awhile because I have no time to think/wallow in my own feelings. But then one day I will just say I need to take a break because I am so worn out and BAM depression is waiting for me. It's a fucked up balancing act that I cycle through a few times every year.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

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Oblio said:
I know you are joking but this is totally my MO. When depression starts to hit I take on way more than I can possibly handle. It works for awhile because I have no time to think/wallow in my own feelings. But then one day I will just say I need to take a break because I am so worn out and BAM depression is waiting for me. It's a fucked up balancing act that I cycle through a few times every year.
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I know. Depression doesn't go away until you isolate the source and deal with it. The longer it takes, the more damage it does and the harder it becomes to get to.
 
Oblio

Oblio

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moonarchia said:
I know. Depression doesn't go away until you isolate the source and deal with it. The longer it takes, the more damage it does and the harder it becomes to get to.
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I know the source of it, have openly admitted the source for ~20 years. I am much better than I was 10-15 years ago. I put work with a therapist for 5+ years. Haven't seen a therapist in about 9 years so sometimes it rears its ugly head. Some wounds just don't heal.
 
Kyougou

Kyougou

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Kyougou said:
This was a good call out.
I don't really want to get too deep into it... but it was well on my mind at the time.
Drugs have been working out somewhat finally, but not really awesome...
Its more like I can't really get too sad but I can't really get too excited about anything, I'm always kind of mellow. If that makes sense.

I have taken on a new therapist that is honestly filling me with hope.
I want to believe and we will see where it goes from here.
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So... I went off my meds... turns out I'm losing my god damn mind...
And now I sit here... thinking what is better? to be completely numb on meds and just kind of going along with life...
Or not living at all.
I just feel so lonely on a critical level... like at this point I demand too much from anyone that could ever be reasonably given.
And I'm willing to offer so little.

At the moment I really fucking hate my existence... but I'm also such a coward, I'm just scared.
I'm also heavily drinking... thus this post that I won't remember in the morning...
 
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Oblio

Oblio

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Kyougou said:
So... I went off my meds... turns out I'm losing my god damn mind...
And now I sit here... thinking what is better? to be completely numb on meds and just kind of going along with life...
Or not living at all.
I just feel so lonely on a critical level... like at this point I demand too much from anyone that could ever be reasonably given.
And I'm willing to offer so little.

At the moment I really fucking hate my existence... but I'm also such a coward, I'm just scared.
I'm also heavily drinking... thus this post that I won't remember in the morning...
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Bro did you go cold turkey off the meds? I did that and it was horrible. You have to ween yourself off.

Drinking is not your friend when you are in a bad place. When you wake up tomorrow with a hangover, force yourself to get 20-30 mins of excercise. Get your heart rate up and get a good sweat. Hydrate the rest of the day. Wake up the next day and excercise again. Just force it, Discipline = Freedom.

I have excercised for 20 days straight and I know it really helped pull me out of my last depression flair up.
 
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Oblio

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Kyougou Kyougou don't do anything stupid tonight. Just shit post here and have a laugh. I look forward to talking to you tomorrow.
 
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Koushirou

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I’d consider dumping all of the alcohol you own. Just don’t give yourself the opportunity.
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Kyougou said:
So... I went off my meds... turns out I'm losing my god damn mind...
And now I sit here... thinking what is better? to be completely numb on meds and just kind of going along with life...
Or not living at all.
I just feel so lonely on a critical level... like at this point I demand too much from anyone that could ever be reasonably given.
And I'm willing to offer so little.

At the moment I really fucking hate my existence... but I'm also such a coward, I'm just scared.
I'm also heavily drinking... thus this post that I won't remember in the morning...
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Oblio covered the big ones. Stop drinking and start exercising. Were your sessions any help in figuring out what the root cause of your depression is?
 
Kyougou

Kyougou

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Oblio said:
Morning Kyougou Kyougou

Get that work out in yet?
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Aye, nothing too tricky but sure worked up a sweat.

Koushirou said:
I’d consider dumping all of the alcohol you own. Just don’t give yourself the opportunity.
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The ease of delivery these days has been a great enemy. Financially too...

moonarchia said:
Oblio covered the big ones. Stop drinking and start exercising. Were your sessions any help in figuring out what the root cause of your depression is?
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Not quite, I guess there is a lot that needs fixing right now and that doesn't really leave much room to do that kind of digging.
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Kyougou said:
Not quite, I guess there is a lot that needs fixing right now and that doesn't really leave much room to do that kind of digging.
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Make time for it. There are no short cuts. Either see a shrink until you get to the bottom of it or get to meditating until you get to the bottom of it. The longer you wait to get started, the longer the process is going to take, and the more damage it does to your life and well being.
 
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ToeMissile

ToeMissile

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I’ll add that it’s very common for people to go through a few therapists before they find one that really works for them.
 
Ridas

Ridas

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Fuck SSRIs for mild-medium depression. Withdrawal was a mess and no idea, if it did any difference. So many sideeffects.
 
Kyougou

Kyougou

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Springbok said:
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Interesting, but wouldn't almost everyone taking creatine also be working out at decently high level?
Exercise is known to be of great help, especially so if you are invested in yourself and seeing progress and taking supplements like creatine to further your progress.

Still more to it than that in a couple of the articles linked, its very interesting.
 
moonarchia

moonarchia

The Scientific Shitlord
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Kyougou said:
Interesting, but wouldn't almost everyone taking creatine also be working out at decently high level?
Exercise is known to be of great help, especially so if you are invested in yourself and seeing progress and taking supplements like creatine to further your progress.

Still more to it than that in a couple of the articles linked, its very interesting.
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Correct. Creatine users are also working out. And yes, working out is going to be what is helping more than the creatine. The physical and mental benefits of working out have been researched and proven many times over.
 
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