Dragon Age: Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Uriel · 2024-10-31T14:50:30-0400

Argarth said:
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Your average game dev in 2024.

Hateyou · 2024-10-31T14:54:09-0400

Argarth said:
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Finally a game that represents ME

1987 · 2024-10-31T14:57:39-0400

Breakdown said:
“PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.

GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.

PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?

GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.

GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.”

Meanwhile 350 pound trans Golgoroths beat the gates with Grond which is now a giant Dilator.

There won't be a Shire, Pip.

Mist · 2024-10-31T14:58:01-0400

Argarth said:
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okay but this is what every rapper looks like for the past 6 years

Mist · 2024-10-31T15:02:24-0400

1987 said:
It's so hard to make sense of these things happening in repetition, without jumping to conspiracy.

Imagine you have a company that makes socks. Then, out of nowhere, they run a PR campaign that demonizes feet, and their new product line targets Amputees.

Games take way too long to make, so you're constantly guessing what the expected market is going to be 4-6 years from when you start.

They looked at graph of how gay the future was getting and didn't realize they were making the same extrapolating mistake as this classic XKCD cartoon:

Furry · 2024-10-31T15:03:32-0400

1987 said:
It's so hard to make sense of these things happening in repetition, without jumping to conspiracy.

Imagine you have a company that makes socks. Then, out of nowhere, they run a PR campaign that demonizes feet, and their new product line targets Amputees.

Clearly their logo would be a pirate. Right

Mr. Sox ?

Mist · 2024-10-31T15:05:09-0400

This feels like they tried to make a Spiderverse version of Dragon Age and fucked up.

pysek · 2024-10-31T15:11:22-0400

1987 said:
There won't be a Shire, Pip.

The part that everyone misses as they dine on sand.

Pasteton · 2024-10-31T15:12:04-0400

Tuco said:
I just bought three copies and gifted them to my neighbor's kids because that neighbor dented my car 5 years ago.

Yea I can see this must have been costly to fix

Zindan · 2024-10-31T15:17:21-0400

Springbok said:
If this breaks 100k players I'll shove a locos taco up my ass

Get your lube ready.

Fucker · 2024-10-31T15:18:23-0400

1987 said:
It's so hard to make sense of these things happening in repetition, without jumping to conspiracy.

Imagine you have a company that makes socks. Then, out of nowhere, they run a PR campaign that demonizes feet, and their new product line targets Amputees.

This is a pretty damned good idea, actually. Amputees still wear socks. Sell them foot socks one day, then stump socks the next. Double the sales in a week!

rhinohelix · 2024-10-31T15:24:09-0400

Fogel said:
The next Dragon age will make it so each time you miss gender someone the darkspawn grow more powerful and too many miss genders is an automatic game over. At this point they can even take hit points out of the loss equation completely!

The Next Dragon Age?

Chanur · 2024-10-31T15:47:51-0400

Tuco said:
So anyone willing to admit they are playing this?

If they copied BG3's Dark Urge path, but instead you roleplay as the ultimate shitlord in a land full of dweebs, Johnny Lawrence style, this game might be worth playing.

My wife was a hard core DA:I enjoyer. She was pretty invested into her romance with the hobo elf(Solas). She was super excited when this was announced. And even she is not going to buy this trash. She is going to watch someone play it on Twitch for the first time.

This game is a woke sermon.

Chanur · 2024-10-31T15:55:47-0400

Tuco said:
I just bought three copies and gifted them to my neighbor's kids because that neighbor dented my car 5 years ago.

This might be a war crime but I love it.

Voyce · 2024-10-31T15:56:27-0400

Xexx said:
This is....just....huh

What the fuck is a queer consultant?? What school hands out these degrees?

“Professional Faggot”

Voyce · 2024-10-31T15:59:24-0400

Vorph said:
Not playing it, but from what I've heard about the game:

1. You have no choice about recruiting the degenerate companions. I'm not even sure there are any non-degenerates in the bunch to begin with.
2. You often are forced to bring certain characters along even if you hate them and you can't really avoid any of the "meeting with HR" struggle sessions.
3. Can't kill off any of them, or anything like that.
4. You can't actually criticize or push back against the woke faggotry that they constantly spout, so it's impossible to offend anyone to the point where they leave.

I thought about getting it from Gamefly just to have a laugh at how fucking terrible it is, but subjecting myself to cult indoctrination that the game forces me to agree with doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun.

I mean it would actually be amazing if you did have an option to just shit on all of them (figuratively because they’d probably enjoy it the other way) , and make them Reeeee—but that would actually be entertaining an enjoyable, so no

Voyce · 2024-10-31T16:02:35-0400

Fogel said:
The next Dragon age will make it so each time you miss gender someone the darkspawn grow more powerful and too many miss genders is an automatic game over. At this point they can even take hit points out of the loss equation completely!

that actually sounds like a fun game—so no

Springbok · 2024-10-31T16:34:38-0400

Zindan said:
Get your lube ready.

1987 · 2024-10-31T16:39:46-0400

Just occured to me that darkspawn should be a euphemism for tranbos...make it so boys

The world must be protected by the gay wardens. Who, through the power of Dank memes, prevent the world from succumbing to the e'er encroaching "rainbow menace"

Chris · 2024-10-31T16:42:09-0400

BG3 could be pretty woke, but most of it was your choice, you could make the playable gay characters straight or even kill them.

I think the lesson these woke devs will take away is that woke games can be a success, because they personally would have chosen all of the woke choices.

Dragon Age: Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Blackwing Lair Raider

Not Great, Not Terrible

Bronze Baronet of the Realm

“PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.​

​

GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.​

​

PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?​

​

GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.​

​

PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.​

​

GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.”​

REEEEeyore

REEEEeyore

🌭🍔🇺🇦✌️SLAVA UKRAINI!✌️🇺🇦🍔🌭

REEEEeyore

It Didn't Happen, It Should've, and It Will.

Blackwing Lair Raider

Ahn'Qiraj Raider

Log Wizard

Dental Dammer

Shit Posting Professional

Shit Posting Professional

Shit Lord Supreme

Shit Lord Supreme

Shit Lord Supreme

Karen

Bronze Baronet of the Realm

Potato del Grande

“PIPPIN: I didn't think it would end this way.

GANDALF: End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it.

PIPPIN: What? Gandalf? See what?

GANDALF: White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.

PIPPIN: Well, that isn't so bad.

GANDALF: No. No, it isn't.”