First World Problems
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
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Joeboo
Molten Core Raider
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There was a reddit thread recently asking former inmates what habits they picked up in jail that they still use in real life. The two most common answers seemed to be
1) Always shit with at least 1 leg out of your pants, you need to be able to move at the drop of a hat
2) Never wear flip-flops, always wear a shoe that you can run in if need be
You no-pants shitters been in prison recently?
1) Always shit with at least 1 leg out of your pants, you need to be able to move at the drop of a hat
2) Never wear flip-flops, always wear a shoe that you can run in if need be
You no-pants shitters been in prison recently?
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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No prison time, but it's just sound tactically. I also always put on my sock then my shoe then my other sock and my other shoe. The reason being that if I suddenly have to spring into action, I don't want to have stockinged feet. At worst, I'll have one foot slipping around the way I do it.
I also always lock the door when I shit even back when I lived alone. You're very vulnerable when you're dumping.
I also always lock the door when I shit even back when I lived alone. You're very vulnerable when you're dumping.
Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
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A 160 pound friend has never been in the military or prison yet he eats by hovering protectively over his food and shoveling it in without pause, just like I see inmates doing in documentaries. I'll have to inquire into his shitting habits - maybe he just has good prison instincts?
That said, he leaves his fucking $700 cell phone (no contract) laying out on the bar even when he gets up to piss, so it's not exactly universal. It's funny how many times a "helpful" old drunk has approached him like, hey buddy, you can't trust people in here, put that shit away.
Well, they might get his phone but they sure as hell aren't getting to his chicken wings.
Oh, and the fucker still hasn't learned to hold on to his drink, either. *poof*
<- shits with pants around ankles and door unlocked worry-free. But at least I keep my drink in my hand until its finished so I don't have the last 1/3rd of it dumped by staff, does that count as street smarts?
From prison shitting to bar tips!
That said, he leaves his fucking $700 cell phone (no contract) laying out on the bar even when he gets up to piss, so it's not exactly universal. It's funny how many times a "helpful" old drunk has approached him like, hey buddy, you can't trust people in here, put that shit away.
Well, they might get his phone but they sure as hell aren't getting to his chicken wings.
Oh, and the fucker still hasn't learned to hold on to his drink, either. *poof*
<- shits with pants around ankles and door unlocked worry-free. But at least I keep my drink in my hand until its finished so I don't have the last 1/3rd of it dumped by staff, does that count as street smarts?
From prison shitting to bar tips!
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Flip flops are everywhere in prison. They call them "shower shoes" and half of them are wearing them with white socks. This is mostly in the housing areas though.
There is an old prison guard warning though that if you see lots of dudes coming out for rec with tightly laced boots, there's gonna be a fight. Lots of brothers have or had a habit of walking around with their Timba's or their sneakers untied and loosely laced, so if you see a bunch of guys with tightly laced and tied up boots then they are ready to throw down.
Aamry
Blackwing Lair Raider
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I just goto customer service or lost and found damn near anywhere and ask if anyone turned in whatever cellphone my friend says he can unlock for 5 bucks so I dun care if someone else's 700 dollar phone gets found by a derelict someplace )
Srathor
Vyemm Raider
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Your friend has at least 2 older brothers. Or multiple bitch sisters.
And my own first world problem, I have more salsa than chips left, but if I get more chips than I won't have enough Salsa for the rest of the chips. Ffffffuuu
Joeboo
Molten Core Raider
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ALWAYS go heavy on the salsa per chip. If you run out of salsa first, that's fine, you can still eat the tasty chips, But if you run out of chips then you're fucked, you're not going to eat the salsa from the jar with a spoon like a heathen.
Always over-estimate on the high side your salsa-per-chip ratio
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Too much of the porn is mis-labeled. Some examples. Redheads that clearly aren't, anal with no anal, etc. But the most disturbing is how many scenes are labeled as being some sort of incest. The other day I saw one that said it was a mom and an aunt with a son. But looking at the still shot, it was obvious that the 'son' was at least 5 and maybe 10 years older than either girl. So I watched it, and it was a new neighbor introducing herself. So I looked at a couple more questionable videos and sure enough, most of them weren't any kind of incest (none of them were if you don't count step kids as incest). What's disturbing is that people are obviously mislabeling their vids to get more hits.
JFC, is incestual stuff really that sought after? Don't link the top porn search terms that show mom and dad have always been up there. Those aren't necessarily incest searches.
JFC, is incestual stuff really that sought after? Don't link the top porn search terms that show mom and dad have always been up there. Those aren't necessarily incest searches.