Girlfriend wants to move in, how much should she pay?

Hoss_sl said:

You wouldn't have to tiptoe around the subject with a buddy, and he'd offer you half the mortgage right off the bat if he was worth a shit. When I let a buddy live with me, he offered to pay me what he had been paying in rent, but that turned out to be more than half the mortgage, so we agreed on just half, and half the utilities. The utilities got to be a pain in the ass eventually and we changed that to a set amount too.

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Not necessarily. When I owned a house and had buddies living with me rents were far below mortgage rates. Having him paying 1/2 (or in this case 1/3 since I had two roommates) the mortgage would have worked out to be way more then what it would cost them to rent a place. I charged them the going rate for renting a bedroom (based on them finding a 2 bedroom apartment instead of living with me) and paid the rest of the mortgage myself. Seems way more fair since I was gaining the equity.

But you are right that we didn't have to tip-toe around the subject, but there wasn't any romance involved, only bromance.

Depends entirely on each of your circumstances and how grateful / helpful she is. If you charge her some miniscule amount and she's constantly dangling on your nuts, cleaning, and cooking.

Well that's just the America we all dream of.

This girl is the breadwinner. I doubt you'll have much issue just discussing it with her and it's very likely she will be very reasonable.

Well, I guess one thing to consider is cost of local renting. I've said ask her to pay half, but from my point of view, that's a damn good deal. I just did a quick search on rentals in my area, and everything is going for $200-$400 more than my monthly mortgage, which includes homeowners insurance and property tax. So I guess if you live some where that renting is far cheaper... /shrug

Just discuss it with the woman. As you can see here, you've got opinions covering quite a broad range.

OneofOne_sl said:

Just discuss it with the woman.

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This is the crux of it. If you can't talk to her directly about this sort of thing at this point of the relationship, well, it probably won't go any better down the road.

Gonna chime in with another "talk to her about it" post. When me and my wife made the decision to move in together before we got married, we talked about finances and how to split things. She had the home and paid the mortgage and she didn't ask me to "pay rent". I ended up taking over the utilities and when we bought a new car, we were going to pay half each, but I ended up just making the payment every month. It's was basically 50/50 split of responsibility with finances, but we were solely responsible for each bill...none of this "hey can i get your share of the light bill this month?" If you don't plan on engagement/marriage, I wouldn't bother with the whole moving in thing anyway, it will be more trouble than it's worth. If you guys are thinking this is for real and are serious, you should be talking to each other anyway and discussing your future together. Communication is key and if you can't talk to each other about finances, you're doomed from the start. Money is one of the top reasons folks get divorced, so better to get on the same page together now, than resenting each other later down the road because you feel she isn't pulling her weight or vice versa. Trust me, it will build up if you don't talk openly about it now.

Big Phoenix_sl said:

Unless your incomes are vastly different, everything 50/50.

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So she gets 50% of the equity in the house, since she's paying 50% of the mortgage?

Think this shit through guys.

is the relationship serious or not?

lots of good advice given above. find out what she WAS paying a month in rent.. it gives you the ceiling.

how my wife and i have it setup, she has her checking account, i have my checking account, we have a household account -to pay mortgage etc. i put in 1600 a month into the account, honestly, i have no idea how much she sticks into the account a month ~1k ish(i don't care as long as all the bills are paid). it covers all the bills & we have extra- i suck at paying bills on time so i let her handle that account (my checking account i do food, out to eat times, gas and my CC bills)

figure out how much in household bills there is a month (include taxes/house insurance unless that is rolled into your mortgage)

setup a house checking account for household bills - only- your total household expenses(utilities/taxes/mortgage/water&sewer etc. ) a month are probably ~2300 for everything a month. figure 2500-2600 a month has to go into the account- creating a buffer for unexpected expenses-

you put in ~2k a month - to cover the mortgage- your house, you paying (no issues)mortgage. if she was paying 1k+ a month in rent negotiate ~700 a month-minimum- that she is responsible for to go into the account- i have no idea where you live so i cannot know what the basic monthly rents are, in MY area 1k a month is considered middle/low on rent, in boston it is more like 2k a month in rent+ depending on which PART of boston you are in) just you have to make the amount Less that what she is paying now..

make sure you keep track of all expenses etc and then you will have more money a month to pay off CC bills and do stuff, she will have more money a month to pay off CC bills and do stuff.

just make sure you don't "dip" into the household account for personal stuff.

if you break up and she moves out, close the account, any remaining money in the account is split on how much money- as a percentage- she put in, say you both put in 3k a month on average for a the life of the account together and spent 2300 a month in bills, after a year the account would have 8400 in it ... if she put in 1k a month, vs your 2k a month, she would get back 2772 from the closed account, while you would get the remaining, if she -averagely- put in more or less, her % she got back- after bills paid would increase or decrease depending on what she put in.

if you get married ...you now have next egg to grow for vacations/kids/a life together.

How bout you be a fucking man and pay for your shit yourself, you pussy.

For those of you who think that paying "half the mortgage" entitles her to half the house are fucking retarded. She can pay for it all and as long as you are the only one on the mortgage paper itself your fine.

Ronne_sl said:

Half, how is this a question? Unless you're in some kind of ridiculous sugar daddy situation it isn't up for debate.

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This times a million. It is no different than any other roommate situation ever. You should always divide payments in half with two people. Period. (Barring of course you are loaded and she doesn't have to work and gives you head on a daily basis.)

Edit: Just finished catching up on the thread. There is a lot better advice than mine. It was bad, and I feel bad : /

Since you own the house and she doesn't, she 100% isn't paying the mortgage for you. What a retarded idea.

Having your girlfriend pay you rent... sounds weird to me. Maybe tactfully raise getting a % of what she pays atm and use reaction to judge how compatible you are.

I would go with bills/food only.

Chris_sl said:

I would go with bills/food only.

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If you were moving into her place would you expect to only have to pay for bills and food? And depending on how a person eats and lives, that could end up coming out to way more than normal rent.

Not treating her as an equal who should pull her equal share is kind of misogynistic. "I'm a man and men take care of women, just cook and clean for me like a good woman does for her man"

This is difficult because she will be paying for a house that you will own. I didn't understand it all but Northerner used some complex words and figures so I'd go with his advice. This could turn ugly in the chance you break up so I don't know what kind of contracts and shit you'd need to save your ass. I would probably just accept BJ's and cooking/cleaning as payment.